It's official: Online dating is a complete joke

October 5, 2016

I understand I am not the first (or last) to complain about this but enough is enough.

I am not a bad guy. I am not ugly. I have qualities these profiles seem to beg for. I don't send "dirty" messages. I am respectful and I only send a message if I like what I read in the profile. It's never just a "Hey" or "Hi" either. I preface with this knowing some will claim I need to do this or that. To be honest, I have tried EVERYTHING. It is not that nobody messages back, it's how a conversation starts then abruptly ends. Numerous times I will be chatting with someone, keeping it nice and simple with NO propositions for sex or any of that. Then randomly, the person stops talking. Or they will text once or twice a day and then the next thing you know, it's been a week and I know nothing about the person.

Another disturbing trend... I am seeing profiles of women who are very good looking that have been on there for YEARS. Hell, they will even say in their profile "back here again..." as if everyone is the issue but them. I even decided to message one to get a sense of why this is. One person I messaged I simply asked "Why do you need online dating? I find it hard to believe you're not being approached in person." Of course I didn't get a response.

I was on POF at one point and I swear, 65% of the headlines are "No games" or "Looking for real" and yet, when approaching these profiles with seriousness and honesty (being real), nothing happens.

I see others that are into the same things I am. I fool myself into thinking that this might actually go somewhere. I send a message saying "I really enjoyed your profile. One day I saw so and so in concert. Have you ever seen them live?" But no to little response. And when I say little, I mean **** like "lol".

When someone messages me first...oh boy. It's ALWAYS someone who is overweight, lives at home with their parents and wants to marry you in a week. I don't judge on the first, couldn't care about the second but the THIRD is scary as hell.

Last person that talked to me called me "hun" on the second message and then only texts at 9pm once or twice. I say "Hey, want to meet up and see if there is any chemistry?" I get a "That sound good". Ok. Then I ask when a good day and time is and I don't see a text for the rest of the night and all day the next day. That's just flaky and weird.

All this does in hindsight is make my relationship with my ex look like a honeymoon. Yeah, we had issues. And while that may seem foolish, she already has these fake flakes beat by a million miles.

Thanks for letting me vent. If I offended anyone, I apologize. It's just frustrating.

October 5, 2016

1. They may not be attracted to you for some reason

2. Any whiff of a bad temper, I am done. - meaning, if I don't message right back I get a snotty ass tone. I work long hours, I can't sit and date on the internet all day.

3. Any kind of immediate sexual talk, is disrespectful.

4. I have great kids and a great family, I don't want to be in competition with yours.

5. I make good money, I don't need yours.

6. I don't want or deserve to be your whipping post for all the bad behavior of your past relationships.

7. I want to get to know you slowly and not be on lockdown , after a brief conversation.

8. Internet dating is inherently more dangerous for women.

October 5, 2016

I hate online dating....no matter how many times I say Im not looking for hookups...I still get constant dick pics and guys pretending to be cool then sexting me within hours or days...

Or you hang out once or twice then they want to sleep together, and if you do they act all uninterested after but won't admit it.

It just sucks so bad having to meet so many people and never finding one that sticks.

October 5, 2016

1. They may not be attracted to you for some reason
2. Any whiff of a bad temper, I am done. - meaning, if I don't message right back I get a snotty ass tone. I work long hours, I can't sit and date on the internet all day.
3. Any kind of immediate sexual talk, is disrespectful.
4. I have great kids and a great family, I don't want to be in competition with yours.
5. I make good money, I don't need yours.
6. I don't want or deserve to be your whipping post for all the bad behavior of your past relationships.
7. I want to get to know you slowly and not be on lockdown , after a brief conversation.
8. Internet dating is inherently more dangerous for women.

1. Understandable.

2. Never happened. If I don't get an answer, I move on.

3. Agreed.

4. Never an issue. I have one kid who lives out of state.

5. I wouldn't give it to you.

6. Agreed.

7. Agreed.

8. So why do they do it? I ask this honestly. I understand the purpose but it seems the end result is mostly negative.

I have a theory and by no means does this apply to you personally. I think some just love the attention. If you're getting 50 messages a day telling you how hot you are, I imagine it's hard to walk away from that.

Edited October 5, 2016 by StillSingle

October 5, 2016

responsibilities. Better than sitting someplace, in a bar - where 99% of the time you are hit on with booze involved. You have to realize there are a hell of a lot of liars out there. Scammers, married men (who are lying about their singlehood). I have a real issue with dating anyone who is legally separated (afraid they haven't tended to the baggage they are leaving). I have been divorced for 7 years - typically two types of men - looking for a hookup, players, or those that want to whisk you away on a honeymoon next month.

October 5, 2016

I hate online dating....no matter how many times I say Im not looking for hookups...I still get constant dick pics and guys pretending to be cool then sexting me within hours or days...

Or you hang out once or twice then they want to sleep together, and if you do they act all uninterested after but won't admit it.

It just sucks so bad having to meet so many people and never finding one that sticks.

You know what's ironic? I met someone online who did just that: Banged me then acted uninterested the next day.

Guys get used too, as hard as it is to believe.

October 5, 2016

responsibilities. Better than sitting someplace, in a bar - where 99% of the time you are hit on with booze involved. You have to realize there are a hell of a lot of liars out there. Scammers, married men (who are lying about their singlehood). I have a real issue with dating anyone who is legally separated (afraid they haven't tended to the baggage they are leaving). I have been divorced for 7 years - typically two types of men - looking for a hookup, players, or those that want to whisk you away on a honeymoon next month.

I think the latter can be confused with sincerity. It's hard for guy to not get attached after a while, especially the ones who do take it seriously. I don't see an issue with let's say after a month, a guy asks for exclusiveness. I'm not saying marriage because that's just crazy. But one person at a time for me is crucial because that way, your focus is on that and not divided among several people. The end result is you spend less time getting to know them.

October 5, 2016

You know what's ironic? I met someone online who did just that: Banged me then acted uninterested the next day.

Guys get used too, as hard as it is to believe.

oh I believe it...it goes both ways for sure.

I always try and be upfront...ask what they want, tell them I am not looking to hook up and then have them fade...happens anyways. I just think a lot of people think they are ready but when faced with an opportunity freak out and run.

October 5, 2016

Waving hands in the air.

I have also been scarred and had my self esteem shredded from internet dating. Nobody seems to really want a relationship. I am starting to believe that it has become a form of cheap entertainment for some people....giving that they do not have to leave their homes and spend money in a club or buy a woman drinks. Heck, they can even try and get a date sitting on the toilet.

And when you actually meet them in person, they hang around for a while. And when they realize that there is no early sex, they disappear.

I have hung up my hat and decided my mental and emotional health is worth way more that some loser on a device having me questioning my self worth.

October 5, 2016

the Caribbean in November and have sex on the beach - mind you, I have never met him, talked to him on the phone once. And the next day, he starts on the quest to get booty shots. Sorry, I have a brain, I am a nice person and I am attractive. But, I also demand to be respected. If all you want is a picture of my ass, you can look elsewhere.

October 5, 2016

Waving hands in the air.

I have also been scarred and had my self esteem shredded from internet dating. Nobody seems to really want a relationship. I am starting to believe that it has become a form of cheap entertainment for some people....giving that they do not have to leave their homes and spend money in a club or buy a woman drinks. Heck, they can even try and get a date sitting on the toilet.

And when you actually meet them in person, they hang around for a while. And when they realize that there is no early sex, they disappear.

I have hung up my hat and decided my mental and emotional health is worth way more that some loser on a device having me questioning my self worth.

One message I received was "I'm here because I'm bored and this is entertaining. Oh, and I might even end up with someone."

I laughed.

October 5, 2016

1. Understandable.
2. Never happened. If I don't get an answer, I move on.
3. Agreed.
4. Never an issue. I have one kid who lives out of state.
5. I wouldn't give it to you.
6. Agreed.
7. Agreed.
8. So why do they do it? I ask this honestly. I understand the purpose but it seems the end result is mostly negative.

I have a theory and by no means does this apply to you personally. I think some just love the attention. If you're getting 50 messages a day telling you how hot you are, I imagine it's hard to walk away from that.

#2 it can be negativity in the profile; not just the message. Another pet peeve of mine is a really boring generic profile that says nothing or basically nothing (i.e., I like to eat out and watch movies). I don't want to ask EVERY guy on there all my questions to figure out what we would have to talk about. If I can't figure it out on the profile or the initial message I move on. This is probably about 90% of the profiles. I also see dealbreakers for me in the questions sections. I put my big ones in the message me section such as I don't want kids but a lot of people ignore them.

#8 - I am not going to be scared to meet people. But I give a google voice number, avoid giving out trackable information, etc. until at least we meet IRL. I have been stalked twice now. I've had men try to assualt me. I'm going to be outgoing and not assume everyone out there will hurt me but I am going to be safe by using means that are hard to track (i.e., dedicated number/email), meeting in public places, etc.

To be honest the dozens of messages I get everyday that say something like 'Hi' or 'ur hot' are not flattering. Most women know it's just men playing the numbers. They are noise. This is why women get discouraged. I actually put in the first paragraph of my profile tons of ideas for men to message me about including 'Ask me about the time'. There is no excuse for them to say stuff like Hi.

October 5, 2016

#2 it can be negativity in the profile; not just the message. Another pet peeve of mine is a really boring generic profile that says nothing or basically nothing (i.e., I like to eat out and watch movies). I don't want to ask EVERY guy on there all my questions to figure out what we would have to talk about. If I can't figure it out on the profile or the initial message I move on. This is probably about 90% of the profiles. I also see dealbreakers for me in the questions sections. I put my big ones in the message me section such as I don't want kids but a lot of people ignore them.

#8 - I am not going to be scared to meet people. But I give a google voice number, avoid giving out trackable information, etc. until at least we meet IRL. I have been stalked twice now. I've had men try to assualt me. I'm going to be outgoing and not assume everyone out there will hurt me but I am going to be safe by using means that are hard to track (i.e., dedicated number/email), meeting in public places, etc.

To be honest the dozens of messages I get everyday that say something like 'Hi' or 'ur hot' are not flattering. Most women know it's just men playing the numbers. They are noise. This is why women get discouraged. I actually put in the first paragraph of my profile tons of ideas for men to message me about including 'Ask me about the time'. There is no excuse for them to say stuff like Hi.

That sucks about the stalking. I'm sorry.

October 5, 2016

it's how a conversation starts then abruptly ends.

Or they will text once or twice a day and then the next thing you know, it's been a week and I know nothing about the person.

See: Attention-seeking women, fresh out of being dumped, but not ready to take it beyond the ego-stroke of getting contacted.

Another disturbing trend... I am seeing profiles of women who are very good looking that have been on there for YEARS. Hell, they will even say in their profile "back here again..." as if everyone is the issue but them.

See: women who continue to get dumped because of their demands, while not being hot enough to demand anything. Trust me, those pics are 5 years and 25 or 30 pounds ago.

I get a "That sound good".

Watch out for bad grammar and spelling. Most of the time it's a scam and they're trying to get you to send money.

I understand not all women on OLD are like this, but my experience is very congruent with the OP's, and these instances have rung true every time.

Edited October 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

October 5, 2016

See: Attention-seeking women, fresh out of being dumped, but not ready to take it beyond the ego-stroke of getting contacted.

See: women who continue to get dumped because of their demands, while not being hot enough to demand anything. Trust me, those pics are 5 years and 25 or 30 pounds ago.

Watch out for bad grammar and spelling. Most of the time it's a scam and they're trying to get you to send money.

I understand not all women on OLD are like this, but my experience is very congruent with the OP's, and these instances have rung true every time.

That was awesome.

Edited October 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

October 5, 2016

either. I don't see the point in lying, it's a waste of time. I had one date who said he was 6'4 ... turned out he was 6'10 and about 380 pounds. Then the incessant trying to lock you down. Just made my skin crawl. It doesn't mean that the women on there are not interested in a relationship, it could mean it isn't clicking for her. And vice versa. Women tend to find it more difficult to just say this isn't working for me. Don't want to hurt people's feelings or whatever. I have had to learn to shut it down early, if I know it won't work.

The bad ones - male and female - ruin it for honest people.

October 5, 2016

OP,

Don't take it personally.

Just remember that the Lion's share of people on Social media in General, and Dating Sites in particular, use their pages to massage their own egos. Since there rarely is any consequence for embellishing yourself on dating sites, people are more apt to make themselves appear a lot less boring than they really are.

I say that because I myself am extremely boring in real life. lol.

People like to play games, and O.L.D. sites provide just that. For all you know you may be texting with a 60 year old man using a Denise Milani pic...Her's are probably the most notorious for people passing themselves off as somebody else.

Just realize when you do any of the online dating that many of the people on them are there to convince themselves that their lives are not mundane.

When you get to texting and they stop out of nowhere, consider that many are already n relationships or married and their partners may not have any idea what they are up to.

I'll give you an example...

I tried the sites back in 2006 when they hardly had any people on them by comparison to today,and I got totally Catfished before I even knew there was term for it.. The girl I was talking to and actually tracked down in real life was living with her fiance, unbeknownst to me. I had to see it with my own eyes, which I did. It was a horrible lesson to learn and I vowed to never try t again, and I haven't nor have any desire to even 10 years later. One bad experience was all it took for me.

October 5, 2016

It doesn't work for you personally, therefore it's "officially" a complete joke? Got it. Let's just overlook look the fact that more than a third of US marriages now start online.

I am not a bad guy. I am not ugly. I have qualities these profiles seem to beg for.

Women say they want a lot of things, however a lot of times there's a clause associated with it that they don't disclose. Some might care that you're nice and considerate, but only if you're 6'+, for example. They care if you make good money assuming you're not a complete bore. Kind of like if you say you want a women who's thin -- I assume you also want one who's gorgeous, but you didn't explicitly say that.

When women describe the things they want in a guy, they're often describing the things they find appealing in a guy who is in no way unappealing either. It's kind of odd that you didn't consider that. You haven't begun to read between the lines.

I don't send "dirty" messages. I am respectful and I only send a message if I like what I read in the profile. It's never just a "Hey" or "Hi" either. I preface with this knowing some will claim I need to do this or that.

Saying that you should be successful with OLD because you don't send dirty (or general greeting) messages is like saying you should be successful with women because you haven't been to jail. Don't hang your hat on not doing something you weren't supposed to do anyways. That doesn't make you stand out or even good, it just doesn't make you totally offensive. Message content can be important, but she more often than not she has to like you to begin with to give the message any consideration. You could write the best message ever, but if your profile/pictures aren't doing it for her, it could be totally irrelevant.

To be honest, I have tried EVERYTHING. It is not that nobody messages back, it's how a conversation starts then abruptly ends. Numerous times I will be chatting with someone, keeping it nice and simple with NO propositions for sex or any of that. Then randomly, the person stops talking. Or they will text once or twice a day and then the next thing you know, it's been a week and I know nothing about the person.

Sounds like a total bore, to be honest. Maybe you haven't tried "everything." If you talk to someone for a week (!) and still don't know anything about them, that's on you as much as it is on them. My suggestion: don't talk for a week. It's just filler. You won't know if you like the person until you meet them face to face. You're just wasting your/her time until then. Get their number, text them once to greet them, then start planning where and when you can meet in as few texts as possible. Most people don't want to talk to a faceless stranger for a week, especially about nothing of any importance. It's a waste of time, and it's annoying. If a girl wanted to text me for a whole week beforehand I wouldn't bother with her. We could both meet two real people in that timeframe.

Another disturbing trend... I am seeing profiles of women who are very good looking that have been on there for YEARS.

Why is this a problem for you? If it's a problem for them, maybe they'll wise up or get a reality check. The market will put them in their place. I don't see why this is such a point of contention for people.

Hell, they will even say in their profile "back here again..." as if everyone is the issue but them. I even decided to message one to get a sense of why this is. One person I messaged I simply asked "Why do you need online dating? I find it hard to believe you're not being approached in person." Of course I didn't get a response.

So all this considered, since you seem to think your problem is with OLD dating and not you, why do you need online dating?

I was on POF at one point and I swear, 65% of the headlines are "No games" or "Looking for real" and yet, when approaching these profiles with seriousness and honesty (being real), nothing happens.

Why do you assume that if someone says they're looking for honesty and seriousness that it's the only thing they're looking for?

I see others that are into the same things I am. I fool myself into thinking that this might actually go somewhere. I send a message saying "I really enjoyed your profile. One day I saw so and so in concert. Have you ever seen them live?" But no to little response. And when I say little, I mean **** like "lol".

Maybe if you didn't send generic messages and ask trivial "yes or no" questions you might yield some better responses. Does it really matter if she's seen them before or not? Do you think her interest in you is correlated to something as inconsequential as whether or not you've both seen a band live? Why do think people like other people? Just because they like or do the same things? If this is how you comprehend attraction, I'm not really surprised you've struggled with OLD.

Your message wasn't conducive to piquing any emotional interest or curiosity, it didn't display any kind of personality or originality, and the fact that you didn't consider those things and sent it anyways thinking it was good displayed your lack of judgment above everything. You had a totally blank canvas to paint a portrait and get this girl's attention and you decided the best thing to do would be to draw a stick figure. Why are you surprised with the result?

When someone messages me first...oh boy. It's ALWAYS someone who is overweight, lives at home with their parents and wants to marry you in a week. I don't judge on the first, couldn't care about the second but the THIRD is scary as hell.

Those types of people are easily ignored, and plenty of sensible, well adjusted, accomplished, beautiful women will message you first if you consider the mechanics of attraction and OLD and apply them pragmatically. It doesn't sound like you've ever done that even though you claim you've tried "everything."

Last person that talked to me called me "hun" on the second message and then only texts at 9pm once or twice. I say "Hey, want to meet up and see if there is any chemistry?" I get a "That sound good". Ok. Then I ask when a good day and time is and I don't see a text for the rest of the night and all day the next day. That's just flaky and weird.

"Hun" is a relatively harmless term, especially in some regions, I thought (?). I could be wrong about that. Anyways, I think it's more weird that you text a person enough to evaluate their texting habits before you've even considered asking them out "to see if there's chemistry." The point of meeting someone online is to actually meet them in person to see if there's chemistry, not to text them for a week needlessly before. You've added a whole unnecessary complication to the process and probably shot yourself in the foot when they inevitably get bored of waiting for you to take them out.

All this does in hindsight is make my relationship with my ex look like a honeymoon. Yeah, we had issues. And while that may seem foolish, she already has these fake flakes beat by a million miles.

Thanks for letting me vent. If I offended anyone, I apologize. It's just frustrating.

I know this was harsh (only because I know a lot of other people here will likely just sugarcoat responses that won't provide you with any meaningful advice), and I appreciate your candor, but maybe, just maybe, it's not everyone's fault but yours.

I hate to say it, but it's a pretty common theme with these threads: people blaming the website before they've even thought about the right way to approach it. Maybe guys should put some elementary consideration into these things before just assuming OLD is a complete joke. Best of luck.

October 5, 2016

My experiences were similar though I got less responses.

A few women initially responded but were curt and/or then dropped off. I suspect they had no physical attraction but had less options so at least had the thought of entertaining the idea, but thought better once somebody else came along or time elapsed.

My philosophy is that OLD and dating overall is broken into 2 general camps...

1) Those who treat finding a mate like a dream job. You present your best in terms of looks, education, salary, places you've visited, and your uncanny witty charm and then hope to snag the best you can get in terms of the above.

2) Those who treat finding a mate like looking for your best friend. It could come in different shapes and forms but you have a 'feeling' about the person.

I suspect that you are playing the game the first way and that you are gunning for women 'on your level' and maybe a little higher and lower. You are getting frustrated because they don't think you are on their level, which is understandable. 70% of the guys who have done OLD I believe have felt that way one time or another.

However, if you would rather date the second way, then I suggest you take any hint of 'I am the best, cool, smart, handsome' type of confidence out of your profile and wait for women to message you. A few guys here have said it too.

The three women that were the best prospects all messaged/favorited me first. And the one that I ended up with is a beauty. If I had messaged her first, my first thought would have been that I'd have no prayer of hearing from her. Dig that...

Edited October 5, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember

October 5, 2016

It doesn't work for you personally, therefore it's "officially" a complete joke? Got it. Let's just overlook look the fact that more than a third of US marriages now start online.

Women say they want a lot of things, however a lot of times there's a clause associated with it that they don't disclose. Some might care that you're nice and considerate, but only if you're 6'+, for example. They care if you make good money assuming you're not a complete bore. Kind of like if you say you want a women who's thin -- I assume you also want one who's gorgeous, but you didn't explicitly say that.

When women describe the things they want in a guy, they're often describing the things they find appealing in a guy who is in no way unappealing either. It's kind of odd that you didn't consider that. You haven't begun to read between the lines.

Saying that you should be successful with OLD because you don't send dirty (or general greeting) messages is like saying you should be successful with women because you haven't been to jail. Don't hang your hat on not doing something you weren't supposed to do anyways. That doesn't make you stand out or even good, it just doesn't make you totally offensive. Message content can be important, but she more often than not she has to like you to begin with to give the message any consideration. You could write the best message ever, but if your profile/pictures aren't doing it for her, it could be totally irrelevant.

Sounds like a total bore, to be honest. Maybe you haven't tried "everything." If you talk to someone for a week (!) and still don't know anything about them, that's on you as much as it is on them. My suggestion: don't talk for a week. It's just filler. You won't know if you like the person until you meet them face to face. You're just wasting your/her time until then. Get their number, text them once to greet them, then start planning where and when you can meet in as few texts as possible. Most people don't want to talk to a faceless stranger for a week, especially about nothing of any importance. It's a waste of time, and it's annoying. If a girl wanted to text me for a whole week beforehand I wouldn't bother with her. We could both meet two real people in that timeframe.

Why is this a problem for you? If it's a problem for them, maybe they'll wise up or get a reality check. The market will put them in their place. I don't see why this is such a point of contention for people.

So all this considered, since you seem to think your problem is with OLD dating and not you, why do you need online dating?

Why do you assume that if someone says they're looking for honesty and seriousness that it's the only thing they're looking for?

Maybe if you didn't send generic messages and ask trivial "yes or no" questions you might yield some better responses. Does it really matter if she's seen them before or not? Do you think her interest in you is correlated to something as inconsequential as whether or not you've both seen a band live? Why do think people like other people? Just because they like or do the same things? If this is how you comprehend attraction, I'm not really surprised you've struggled with OLD.

Your message wasn't conducive to piquing any emotional interest or curiosity, it didn't display any kind of personality or originality, and the fact that you didn't consider those things and sent it anyways thinking it was good displayed your lack of judgment above everything. You had a totally blank canvas to paint a portrait and get this girl's attention and you decided the best thing to do would be to draw a stick figure. Why are you surprised with the result?

Those types of people are easily ignored, and plenty of sensible, well adjusted, accomplished, beautiful women will message you first if you consider the mechanics of attraction and OLD and apply them pragmatically. It doesn't sound like you've ever done that even though you claim you've tried "everything."

"Hun" is a relatively harmless term, especially in some regions, I thought (?). I could be wrong about that. Anyways, I think it's more weird that you text a person enough to evaluate their texting habits before you've even considered asking them out "to see if there's chemistry." The point of meeting someone online is to actually meet them in person to see if there's chemistry, not to text them for a week needlessly before. You've added a whole unnecessary complication to the process and probably shot yourself in the foot when they inevitably get bored of waiting for you to take them out.

I know this was harsh (only because I know a lot of other people here will likely just sugarcoat responses that won't provide you with any meaningful advice), and I appreciate your candor, but maybe, just maybe, it's not everyone's fault but yours.

I hate to say it, but it's a pretty common theme with these threads: people blaming the website before they've even thought about the right way to approach it. Maybe guys should put some elementary consideration into these things before just assuming OLD is a complete joke. Best of luck.

So more than a third of marriages are started online? What are the divorce rates?

That means a little less than 75% of people get married without online.

Basically, you proved my point of how much of a joke it is.

October 5, 2016

Trust me, you don't want to go the online route unless you're willing to deal with mostly really shallow people. When I went on match.com it was unbelievable how shallow & superficial most of the people on there were. Most people on online dating are extremely superficial & it's just going to cause you headaches. I deleted all my accounts except for 1 dating app I still have on my phone. There's a reason why so many of those people are still single, especially the ones that you still see on there after taking long breaks from it.

October 5, 2016

So more than a third of marriages are started online? What are the divorce rates?

That means a little less than 75% of people get married without online.

Annual number of US marriages: ~2 million, 25% of this is half a million. So there's a million people a year who wouldn't have met their partner without it, regardless of the outcome.

Basically, you proved my point of how much of a joke it is.

Was your point that it was joke because you couldn't find someone to happily marry you (because I didn't see that written anywhere), or that women stop talking to you after a short time? Because that's what you did write. There's a world of difference between those two things.

Also, you conveniently ignored everything else I pointed out.

Trust me, you don't want to go the online route unless you're willing to deal with mostly really shallow people. When I went on match.com it was unbelievable how shallow & superficial most of the people on there were. Most people on online dating are extremely superficial & it's just going to cause you headaches. I deleted all my accounts except for 1 dating app I still have on my phone. There's a reason why so many of those people are still single, especially the ones that you still see on there after taking long breaks from it.

The whole concept of attraction is shallow. You're first attracted to people you find physically attractive, then you consider their other attributes and merits, etc. It's no different from going to a bar, looking at all the women in there, disqualifying the ones you don't want to talk to for whatever reason and talking to the ones you do. Doing it online doesn't make it any more or less shallow. You're just as complicit in it too, assuming you have any kind of preference or criteria for a match.

Edited October 5, 2016 by normal person

October 5, 2016

Annual number of US marriages: ~2 million, 25% of this is half a million. So there's a million people a year who wouldn't have met their partner without it, regardless of the outcome.

Was your point that it was joke because you couldn't find someone to happily marry you (because I didn't see that written anywhere), or that women stop talking to you after a short time? Because that's what you did write. There's a world of difference between those two things.

Also, you conveniently ignored everything else I pointed out.

The whole concept of attraction is shallow. You're first attracted to people you find physically attractive, then you consider their other attributes and merits, etc. It's no different from going to a bar, looking at all the women in there, disqualifying the ones you don't want to talk to for whatever reason and talking to the ones you do. Doing it online doesn't make it any more or less shallow. You're just as complicit in it too, assuming you have any kind of preference or criteria for a match.

But according to a lot of people, men are the ones that look at looks first, not women. But with online dating it changes everything since that's exactly what a lot of women do on there due to all the options they have through online dating. If women's criteria in the real world is just the same as it is online than the odds aren't in a lot of guys favor these days.

October 5, 2016

But according to a lot of people, men are the ones that look at looks first, not women.

Clearly that's no longer the case anymore.

October 5, 2016

If women's criteria in the real world is just the same as it is online than the odds aren't in a lot of guys favor these days.

I'm pretty sure it is.

Why do you think a woman would change her criteria just because one man is on a computer screen and another is in real life?

Women are slightly more likely to date a guy who they are not initially attracted to.

But it cancels out because men are attracted to a MUCH wider range of women in terms of face, body, and race.

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