Break Up Mistakes

[zorrocat]

I dated this girl for 8 months. Most of it was pretty good. The main problem was I had started to take medication that ruined my libido. So, our sexual closeness suffered. That led to other issues where she started not to trust our emotional connection (I didn't post pics of us on social media, I had a few moments where I got over anxious and she did not feel like I had her back), etc. And we had limited physical closeness to support us. So, she ended it. Afterward I told her I would work on all the ways I did not foster emotional closeness, and I opened up about my medication and that things would change. I stopped it and my libido is back to normal. She said she loved me, felt the changes, said her family and friends were rooting for us, etc. She thinks parts are fundamentally incompatible. She seemed confused but still resolute that there had been too much pain. So, I resolved to give her space. I have not called her nor have I texted or emailed her, nor have I begged. It has been a week of no direct contact.

 

But, I made the mistake of posting a pic of us to instagram right after the breakup (to show I would going forward and it was a way of grieving) and I emailed a mutual friend to say that it was nice to meet them, thank them for what they had done for me during the relationship, and that I loved my ex but could unfortunately not change her mind. My ex had previously said this mutual friend was rooting for us, s maybe I was also looking for an advocate, but maybe my ex thinks I overstepped a boundary and should have kept the breakup private? Either way, I realize these were dumb actions but things are still fresh (the breakup happened a week ago) and everyone makes emotional mistakes and I am grieving the loss of other friendships formed now too.

 

I have not contacted my ex, nor has she contacted me, but after those two mistakes she has blocked me on social media suddenly. Otherwise, I have not contacted her at all or begged, nothing.

 

I would like to win her back very much and would like to give her the space she needs. But have I now ruined everything?

[ja123]

Listen, you're being way too hard on yourself

 

 

1) You needed the medication at the time (if you still need it, then take it, or ask your doc for another that doesn't affect your libido).

 

 

2) You didn't tell her about the medication right away, but that's normal because the relationship was so new.

 

 

3) You posted a pic on social media and emailed it to a friend, post-break-up. This isn't a huge mistake or anything. Cut yourself some slack. It's not the end of the world that you did that.

 

 

However, you should really consider going fully "no contact" (see the guide on here.) Block her from your social media, don't contact her, etc.

 

 

And it sounds like there's really nothing you can do. She said there were too many incompatibilities, etc. So, she just wasn't feeling it.

 

 

There's no chance of winning her back. And you'll see with time that there are better girls out there for you.

 

 

You'll need some time to grieve, but don't wallow in it. Get out and see friends, go to movies, exercise and do other things you like.

 

 

Good luck!