LD1990 Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 First things first - everyone who dates someone younger mentions how their partner is "really mature for their age." Odds are, she's not. She can be mature sometimes, and immature others, but she's a 19-year-old girl at the end of the day. Don't expect anything long term out of this, but have fun while it lasts. She's an adult, so go for it. 4
Author BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 First things first - everyone who dates someone younger mentions how their partner is "really mature for their age." Odds are, she's not. She can be mature sometimes, and immature others, but she's a 19-year-old girl at the end of the day. Very good point, I don't know her all that well so I can't truly say that she is. 1
SammySammy Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 First things first - everyone who dates someone younger mentions how their partner is "really mature for their age." Odds are, she's not. She can be mature sometimes, and immature others, but she's a 19-year-old girl at the end of the day. Don't expect anything long term out of this, but have fun while it lasts. She's an adult, so go for it. Agreed. Just leave her better than you found her. Make sure she looks back on the time spent with you fondly. When it ends, let it go. "It's better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all." 4
Author BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 Hold your wallet very closely to you...... I would definitely do that regardless of her age. 1
central Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I know of a few good relationships/marriages with as much as a 30-year age difference - one of those began when she was 19 and he was 49. In general, though, there is a greater risk of the relationship failing at some point, versus ones with much smaller differences. For a while, it does not matter much, but as they age, the differences can become a lot more significant due to health issues, retirement, etc. Even having kids can become an issue. Anyway, unless you are seeking a LTR or marriage, this isn't necessarily a problem. It will run its course, and you'll both move on. Sure, there could be drama, but hopefully you can gauge the potential before this goes too much farther. Personally, I like to keep dating relationships within 10 years of my own age, but I had a long term FWB who was 27 years younger - but we met when she was 30 - if she'd been much younger I'd probably have passed up the opportunity as it just wouldn't feel right to me. 1
No_Go Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I dated a 46 year old when I was 27. This was my first. It was wonderful to be introduced to adult life and entertainment (I was a late bloomer haha) by someone who knew it all, but I'd still see him the whole time as an interesting old man to learn from I have the gut feeling she maybe seeing you in a similar fashion, which is ok sans the expectations for long term. 2
morrowrd Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I dated someone 15 years younger, and that was when I was 45 - and she was 30. We were compatible when it came to maturity most of the time, but not all the time - and thats with a 30 year old. I've been with my girlfriend now for a year, She's 4 years younger, close enough to be the same age. And I couldn't be happier.... I didn't realize how much of a difference there is, how much more in common. Even music... Try out the 19 year old, but it will get old sooner or later. I doubt it will last, there is a big difference too between my age difference girl, and yours. She's at an era in life where her brain is still developing, and liking older men...that could be a red flag. Daddy issues, abandonment issues, hell....even a fetish maybe. I am doubtful true love is in the cards here - but who am I to judge? Only life learning tells me, the odds are against you. 1
Erised Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I've done age differences, but her being so young is different from the age difference is she was 25-30 with that age difference. Different life stage. The brain isn't even fully developed until mid 20's. I wouldn't. It would be a turn off for me if I found someone older than 29 dated a 19 year old. I wouldn't continue to go out with that guy seriously. You're older than me, and I could never date a 19 year old because it is too young. 1
Popsicle Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 Ever seen or read Lolita? If we somehow made 10 yo the legal age of an adult, you'd have guys on here saying "She's really mature for her age though and she pursued me" 4
Author BHsigh Posted October 6, 2016 Author Posted October 6, 2016 Yeah, I think that you all are right here, if I was OK with short term or just having fun with someone (doing things, not sex) I would go for it. But I'm in this for a chance at a long term relationship, and the thought of me at 60 being with someone that's 40 is certainly appealing for me, I could see problems for her and us as a couple. Thanks for opening my eyes everyone, I would have never even entertained this thought before, I'm not really sure why I did now. I'll just continue to look for someone that's 28 - 40, as that was always my original range. 5
Miss Peach Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I really don't think age differences matter the older you are. For example 18 with 25 is a huge age difference as they are in different points of like. But 30 with 37 or 40 with 47 isn't a big deal. So a 65 year old with an 80 year old isn't as big of a deal as a 20 year old with a 35 year old. If you are thinking about this long term OP then think best case scenario if this does work. When you're 60, are you going to want to retire? What if she still wants her career? Are you going to want to have kids in high school when you're in your 60s? You also have to look at it from her perspective. Will she want to take care of you when your old and she isn't? 1
Space Ritual Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I should be ok to handle this, after my ex wife had 3 affairs that I know about and is living with the last one, I understand the risks. Just an aside, I am over that, and happy and settled now, Good to hear... I am in my early fifties and I still date younger women, some in their mid twenties. However I always recognize that these are going to be short term I am lucky that at 52 I can still do it. Lucky to have a full head of hair, and all my teeth as well...that in and of itself seems to be a big thing with women..LOL!!! I just want to let you know that you need to have very little expectation. It is fun to have someone much younger be in to you, but in general it is going to be short lived. The thing about May/December Romances is that there is always going to be some guy who comes along that is younger and better looking and have a bigger dick than you do. It is a fact of life, and one that must be accepted unless you are a billionaire. Most guys have a hard time dating much younger women because of that, and tend to get way too attached and get uber insecure. So my advice to you if you pursue this is that you must accept the Rodeo Ride for what it is.... and be prepared for it to come to a screeching halt and buck you off onto the dirt at a moment's notice. Good Luck.
Shanex Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 (edited) Everybody has summed it up pretty well me thinks. I understand both 'sides' here. Though it should be repeated: She is an adult and it IS legal, even if say 19 year old daddy isn't too happy, if he finds out. From experience, I dated, shortly someone that age but I was 29 year old. The other posters who stated this won't last are correct. She is obviously pursued a lot, nevermind if you make more money than those little guys her age. I would disagree with you, OP that she's 'mature'. Nobody, not even college girls are ever mature under 20. However, have fun if that should happen. Just acknowledge she's most likely not your future wife. Edited October 6, 2016 by Shanex
Blanco Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 Usually "She's really mature for her age" is dudespeak for "She's really hot." 2
justanickname Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 People said "love has no boundary". I dont know tbh, it depends so much on the people themselves to decide. Are you really feel the love to her, OP? I guess in a certain level, you feel uncomfortable, so that is why you asked? I once met a man who is in his 60s, we met briefly but later he told me he got a kind of "love at first sight". We are >30 years gap. Anyway, I didnt feel anything so of course it was a No for me. But I guess it could happen. If you really feel for it, give it a go, no matter what others might say. But also, prepare for everything later, since nothing lasts forever. Good luck.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 (edited) I didn't read every post, but for the most part, folks have chimed in sufficiently. My concern when someone so much younger is interested in me would be motivation. I do not believe someone 15-20+ years younger and in their twenties is seriously seeking a long-term relationship no matter what she/he may say. For you OP, I think it's just fun for her and she has not clearly thoughtout her intentions or isn't looking for LT. Maturity is important, of course, but there are many other considerations already mentioned. My experience and observation from OLD is that there are a lot of "younger" ladies looking for someone to take care of them. Especially if they have young children. Many of them have done very little in the way of bolstering themselves financially or professionally and so, looking for the older, "established" man is appealing. Of course, they have also been through a few relationships with younger men who seem, often, incapable of having their crap together. I also find that the younger and 30-somethings are still in the partying mode and think drinking to a drunken stupor is fun(ny).. Not my style.... Anyway, it sounds like you've come to your senses. :-) Edited October 7, 2016 by simpleNfit
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