BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 So I'm a 38 year old man that's been separated from my ex wife for almost a year now. I've been on a few dates but none of them have felt right so far, they have all been fairly close to my age, within a few years, 31, 38, 43 etc. So now I'm going on a date with a 19 year old, I never would have even looked at someone that young before, but she likes older men and is the one that pursued me and pushed for a date. We have been talking and get along well, she's pretty mature and is attending college. Thoughts? 1
AMJ Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 When I was 19-20 I dated a guy who was 31. It took me about two months to realize that we had absolutely nothing in common, he was way too old for me, and I didn't want anything nearly as serious as what he wanted. So...good luck? It's not so much the age difference but just where she's at in life. She's pretty much still a teenager, and you're a full-grown man.
VeveCakes Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Be prepared for.... A hot bod to sleep with but probably someone insecure with their body and uneducated in the sheets. Drama, lots of it. Lots of guys chasing her. and ultimate flakiness. Have fun though 6
Author BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 When I was 19-20 I dated a guy who was 31. It took me about two months to realize that we had absolutely nothing in common, he was way too old for me, and I didn't want anything nearly as serious as what he wanted. So...good luck? It's not so much the age difference but just where she's at in life. She's pretty much still a teenager, and you're a full-grown man. True, I've thought about that too. She says that she wants a long term serious relationship as well, but idk. I guess that we can just try for awhile and see. We share plenty of interests so far.
eightytwenty Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 No, just no.... 19 to 38? She's basically fresh out of high school and you're her Dad's age... 4
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 (edited) She's legal so that's something to celebrate Speaking as a 47 year old woman who tends to date men between 22-34, I'm in no position to throw stones but you need to realize what you're in for. Dating someone who hasn't even entered their twenties will be challenging despite whatever claims or assumptions you have about them being mature and educated. My current partner is 31 which isn't far off from your age gap but at least he's out of his roaring twenties and has some life experience behind him. That can sometimes make a difference with big age gaps. Sex is usually the common denominator in these types of relationships where there is a massive age gap so from that point of view, go for it I guess. Anything long term or more serious, I'm extremely skeptical it would work. Then again, I'm betting you're not even close to thinking about that any time soon so enjoy what you can while you can. Edited October 5, 2016 by Michelle ma Belle 3
Author BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 Thanks for the input everyone, I'm trying to judge her as a person rather than just an age, it's just that the age is so much younger than what I had in mind when looking for someone. I'll definitely keep all of your input in mind throughout. 1
SammySammy Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Enjoy it while it lasts. That's how I feel about all relationships though. They all end for one reason or another. This one might have a lower chance of long-term success than others, but who is to say that must be the goal? Live today to the fullest. That's what I think.
SoThatHappened Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I dated a 22 y/o when I was 33. Didn't end well. She's literally half your age. The only thing I could be on board with, if I were in your shoes, would be a purely physical relationship. This girl has the power to rip your heart out when she takes a liking to a guy (or guys) her age while out partying. She's not grown up yet. She probably has another 5 to 6 years to really "find out" who she really is. At that point, you'll be 43/44...
Author BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 How did you meet her? I bought her a coffee when I was behind her in line and she couldn't find her card. Talk a bit and she asked for my number, random chance really
Author BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 This girl has the power to rip your heart out when she takes a liking to a guy (or guys) her age while out partying. I should be ok to handle this, after my ex wife had 3 affairs that I know about and is living with the last one, I understand the risks. Just an aside, I am over that, and happy and settled now,
hippychick3 Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I'm sorry, but this is just icky. She's legally an adult but in all other respects, is still a child. She is has almost zero life experiences at this point. I am pretty sure she isn't going to be the last person you date and the next person will likely be very turned off by the fact you dated a 19 year old. I know that I would not even consider dating a man your age who dated anyone younger than 20. 1
AMJ Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I'm sorry, but this is just icky. She's legally an adult but in all other respects, is still a child. She is has almost zero life experiences at this point. I am pretty sure she isn't going to be the last person you date and the next person will likely be very turned off by the fact you dated a 19 year old. I know that I would not even consider dating a man your age who dated anyone younger than 20. I'd be turned off by a guy his age who dated anyone younger than 25. 1
hippychick3 Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I'd be turned off by a guy his age who dated anyone younger than 25. That is actually true for me too. I went on a couple dates with a guy my age who had just dated a 22 year old for 2 years. I couldn't get past that and decided not to go on any further dates with him for that reason alone. It was such a turnoff for me given his age.
mikeylo Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I bought her a coffee when I was behind her in line and she couldn't find her card. Talk a bit and she asked for my number, random chance really Using you for a meal ticket. Was it THAT hard to understand ? 38 year old guy tricked by 19 year old. Who is mature here ? 1
Miss Peach Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I finished my university degree just a few months after I turned 20. At that age I didn't have anything in common with people my age so I dated older. The thing that I realize looking back is that I changed a lot from 20-30. I got married shortly after turning 20. Had I picked a person after making that change I would have picked a very different person (and eventually divorced). Just be prepared she probably won't stay the same and it might not last. 1
Ami1uwant Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Thanks for the input everyone, I'm trying to judge her as a person rather than just an age, it's just that the age is so much younger than what I had in mind when looking for someone. I'll definitely keep all of your input in mind throughout. I would have an issue dating someone I'm old enough to be their parent. I'm more sypathetic because she chased you. I'm skeptical of this going anywhere long term. I remember while I was in college a female friend of mine thru retail work around the same age as me dated someone around 40. It didn't last.
Erik30 Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I get that she probably looks really hot, but at that age it just feels wrong to me. It's legal, but I don't know, I would imagine feeling like a creep if I had to tell people about her. Think about it, you can't even buy her a beer. And you would probably have to deal with her parents... Or maybe she just wants to have some fun, it's possible.
Author BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 Using you for a meal ticket. Was it THAT hard to understand ? 38 year old guy tricked by 19 year old. Who is mature here ? She tricked me and is using me as a meal ticket because I bought her one cup of coffee? I've spent more than the price of one cup of coffee on dates with women my age, I've bought coffee for complete strangers before, as well as co-workers and friends, I don't see the correlation here. 1
Art_Critic Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 To me I always had a rule about age, 10 up or down... or they at least had to grow up watching the same cartoons as I did... NINETEEN That kinda sums it up for me, IMO you should be a force in someones life that young where they look up to you for your wisdom, not have sex with you. That being said, YOLO.... 4
Author BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 Thank you all for your input as well, I appreciate it and will keep it all in mind. Honestly the age difference threw me off too or I wouldn't have bothered posting this, so all input for or against is helpful.
Author BHsigh Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 No, just no.... 19 to 38? She's basically fresh out of high school and you're her Dad's age... Well, if her dad didn't pass away a few years ago he would be 58 right now so he would be old enough to be my dad. Her mom's 46 and her mom's current boyfriend is 60. So this is apparently the norm in her family. I do understand your point though.
AMJ Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Yeah it's not so much the age difference, it's her age- period. What kinds of things did you like to do when you were 19? And what do you do for fun now? My friend dated a guy who was in his 50s, she was 32. She enjoyed the fact that he had a house on a beach in Mexico, but when life became real she realized that he didn't want to hang out with her and her friends, and they had nothing in common. I think he ended up getting a little hurt when that ended. 3
smackie9 Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Sorry but her friends are just going to go "Oh jeez we are not going hang out with old guy again are we?" 7
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