Cass1991 Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 So my boyfriend and I live together with two other guys. Not ideal forms couple, I know. What I have an issue with is after he gets off work he wants to spend time with them rather than me. I work every Friday and Saturday so he gets two nights a week for guys night. I want quality time with him during the week after he gets off work. Is that asking too much? How many nights a week does your boyfriend/husband get guy nights?
Toodaloo Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 So my boyfriend and I live together with two other guys. Not ideal forms couple, I know. What I have an issue with is after he gets off work he wants to spend time with them rather than me. I work every Friday and Saturday so he gets two nights a week for guys night. I want quality time with him during the week after he gets off work. Is that asking too much? How many nights a week does your boyfriend/husband get guy nights? You live together and he wants "guy nights"...? What are you supposed to do sit in the corner with a lampshade over your head? I have a suggestion for you. Invite your girls round for a "girls night" and ban the boys to the kitchen unless they are prepared to serve wine while dressed in skimpy loin cloths and a fig leaf garland on their head... This is out of order. He needs to grow a pair. the three of them are acting like children when their parents have gone out for the evening... You also need to be clear what "quality time" actually means.
eightytwenty Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I couldn't stand that, and I had 2 guy roommates and another female. My ex that's all he wanted, was to have friends over and talk about cars, till finally I had enough and left..
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I think this speaks to your ages. Most 'older' couples who are in stable relationships where they are living as a couple without the distraction of roommates wouldn't require boy's night (or girl's night for that matter) more than once or twice a week at the most. Would your boyfriend still need his daily guy-time if you weren't living with his buddies? Not sure but regardless, your situation isn't ideal in fostering a long and fulfilling relationship. Just my two cents. 2
Author Cass1991 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 By quality time what I mean is when he gets home from work (usually anywhere from 8pm-11pm) I want to have that time to talk about our day, watch a movie, cuddle, you know the normal type of stuff. We also live in a 2 bedroom apartment, so we have one bedroom and one of his other roommates has a bedroom and the other has the couch. So it's not like we as a couple can sit out in the living room and chill the whole night. I'm confined to the bedroom because the other two roommates take up the couch and the tv the whole night. He feels like when he gets home sometimes that he has to be out there with them until 2-3 in the morning and when he's ready to see me he will see me because I feel like I can't go out there and ruin guy time. I don't feel welcome being out there with them. But like I said, I express that I wanted his attention during the week and he gets the guys night every Friday and Saturday. Idk, am I being too needy in wanting that?
Toodaloo Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 By quality time what I mean is when he gets home from work (usually anywhere from 8pm-11pm) I want to have that time to talk about our day, watch a movie, cuddle, you know the normal type of stuff. We also live in a 2 bedroom apartment, so we have one bedroom and one of his other roommates has a bedroom and the other has the couch. So it's not like we as a couple can sit out in the living room and chill the whole night. I'm confined to the bedroom because the other two roommates take up the couch and the tv the whole night. He feels like when he gets home sometimes that he has to be out there with them until 2-3 in the morning and when he's ready to see me he will see me because I feel like I can't go out there and ruin guy time. I don't feel welcome being out there with them. But like I said, I express that I wanted his attention during the week and he gets the guys night every Friday and Saturday. Idk, am I being too needy in wanting that? I will tell you what you are. You are over crowded. Put on "Say yes to the dress" then hide the remote... But look for another place that you can live together on your own... 1
Author Cass1991 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 Lmao! I totally should do that. And I agree, but who knows when that will be with the financial side of it.
Gaeta Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Why did you accept to live in this type of arrangement? This is not living together as a couple. This is a room-mate arrangement where he gets to share a room with a girl. If you are both working than search for a 1 bedroom apartment you can afford just the 2 of you. 1
eightytwenty Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Another point, Don't give into sex if he's not putting time into you. If he can't do somethings with you, but comes to the bed for sex, I wouldn't give him that time of day.
Author Cass1991 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 Why did you accept to live in this type of arrangement? This is not living together as a couple. This is a room-mate arrangement where he gets to share a room with a girl. If you are both working than search for a 1 bedroom apartment you can afford just the 2 of you. No idea lol. Originally it was supposed to be just the one roommate and us and then the roommate brought somebody else in and didn't let us know for how long. But I still think living with another person as a couple isn't helpful. I feel like wanting his attention during the week after work isn't being needy. Which is what he calls it.
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Another point, Don't give into sex if he's not putting time into you. If he can't do somethings with you, but comes to the bed for sex, I wouldn't give him that time of day. Umm...how about TALKING about the situation like mature adults rather than play childish games and being passive aggressive? That's four cents of advice you got from me today. Enjoy. 4
Toodaloo Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Lmao! I totally should do that. And I agree, but who knows when that will be with the financial side of it. Well Cass sometimes its better to go back to Mum and Dad for a bit to get yourself sorted rather than live with a man child and his buddies. You are clearly young so go home for a short while, save up, and get yourself secure. Living like this? Its not going to get better... 3
Gaeta Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Cass: How old are you 2 ? And are you both working? I CANNOT imagine myself living in a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 MEN. 3 MEN!! The bathroom must be disgusting !! Women need their intimacy. You need your own bathroom and you need to be able to walk around your place in your undies if you wish. Now you are paying this rent and you can't even enjoy your own living room in the evening! I would prefer to live in a 1 room apartment on my own than this with a pseudo-boyfriend. 2
Author Cass1991 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 Cass: How old are you 2 ? And are you both working? I CANNOT imagine myself living in a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 MEN. 3 MEN!! The bathroom must be disgusting !! Women need their intimacy. You need your own bathroom and you need to be able to walk around your place in your undies if you wish. Now you are paying this rent and you can't even enjoy your own living room in the evening! I would prefer to live in a 1 room apartment on my own than this with a pseudo-boyfriend. I'm 25 and he's 29. Yes we both work. I know, I know. It's driving me crazy. He did say that he thinks it would be better with just us two but knowing him I'm sure he wouldn't come home one or two nights during the week to drink w his friends. Maybe an apartment to myself would be better.
eightytwenty Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Umm...how about TALKING about the situation like mature adults rather than play childish games and being passive aggressive? That's four cents of advice you got from me today. Enjoy. She's already talked to him, and gets the cold shoulder.. So yes, if talking not working, don't give him what he wants until he fixes what he needs to fix.
smackie9 Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Some couples are more independent from each other and don't mind alone time or time to do their own thing. It's time to reassess your relationship and how it plays into your expectations. You two obviously expect different things out of the relationship. This just shows how incompatible you are. 2
Author Cass1991 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 Some couples are more independent from each other and don't mind alone time or time to do their own thing. It's time to reassess your relationship and how it plays into your expectations. You two obviously expect different things out of the relationship. This just shows how incompatible you are. You're completely right.
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