august14 Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I feel that, looks-wise, I don't really have anything going on other than the wholesome vibe. I'm tall and big-boned, and at this point I can't pretend I'm not overweight (even if only slightly). Yet some of the cutest guys I've never talked to seem to be interested in me, and it's not like I'm a social butterfly that they somehow know my personality. I guess my question is, what would draw you to an otherwise unattractive girl other than some stereotypes associated with "good girls"?
Mr. Lucky Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I guess my question is, what would draw you to an otherwise unattractive girl other than some stereotypes associated with "good girls"? "Attactive" is certainly in the eye of the beholder. My own prefernces are for good posture, confident movement. I also like well-groomed but appreciate individual quirkiness. Add in funny and good eye contact and normal ideas of beauty go right out the window... Mr. Lucky 2
Osmium13 Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 Eyes do it for me... and how everything else fits around them. I've got a bit of a crush on a girl who has the most amazing brown eyes. They just light up everything about her, I'm completely captivated every time. She seems quite shy and reserved (most of the time, anyway), but is well-mannered and polite when you speak to her, without giving much away, which is another thing I find really attractive. Not all of us are obsessed with model looks, big norks and ridiculous waist-hip proportions... 3
road Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I feel that, looks-wise, I don't really have anything going on other than the wholesome vibe. I'm tall and big-boned, and at this point I can't pretend I'm not overweight (even if only slightly). Yet some of the cutest guys I've never talked to seem to be interested in me, and it's not like I'm a social butterfly that they somehow know my personality. I guess my question is, what would draw you to an otherwise unattractive girl other than some stereotypes associated with "good girls"? Big bone does not mean fat. A woman can have a large frame yet still be fit and slim. So get to the gym. A woman does not have to have long legs, or a big rack to be attractive. Things that a woman can control make up, hair, dress, hygiene, smile, make effort to be out going all greatly improve her dating appeal. As to tall wear flats and be willing to date men an inch or two shorter that you. You have a lot more going for you than you think so get those assets of yours working.
thecrucible Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 I am interested in women who are open minded and stand apart from the crowd. Too many women these days seem to have adopted groupthink, where they all listen to the same music, wear the same clothes, and have the same hobbies. Bonus points if you are into some nerdy stuff like Anime or video games. Although I don't like video games, I definitely adopt group think. I'm a very quirky girl but I don't make myself the centre of attention. I'm not really interested in being in or conforming to any kind of group. Anyway kind of glad some guys appreciate that on some level. Anyway this thread is asking men. I'd ask my brother what he thinks but I think he'd say something similar. 1
Pete2304 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 I feel that, looks-wise, I don't really have anything going on other than the wholesome vibe. I'm tall and big-boned, and at this point I can't pretend I'm not overweight (even if only slightly). Yet some of the cutest guys I've never talked to seem to be interested in me, and it's not like I'm a social butterfly that they somehow know my personality. I guess my question is, what would draw you to an otherwise unattractive girl other than some stereotypes associated with "good girls"? Someone who made me smile, someone who I could talk to for hours and neither of us run out of things to say. Other than a couple of very short term relationships in between the long term two, I've only had two long relationships. If you asked a Thousand men who was more attractive just to look at, I'm pretty sure 99% would say my ex wife. And yet to me, the girlfriend I was with before was more attractive to me because she was attractive on the inside as well as the outside and that has to be the most important thing. And as for stressing about the slightly overweight worry, I will let you into a little secret. Whilst most newspapers and tv shows are full of stick thin girls who live on a diet of coffee and cigarettes, most blokes actually quite like a girl with a bum and pair of boobs! 1
Just a Guy Posted October 11, 2016 Posted October 11, 2016 (edited) Lady, just be yourself. If you try and put on a facade people will see through you. If you have attributes you think need to be curbed or modified because they jar then by all means try and curb them. For instance if you have a sharp tongue then you certainly need to curb that. If you have extra weight on you by all means shed it. If you have a quick temper learn to control it. If you are bossy around people then you know what you have to do. The best example of what you are looking for is the 'Girl next door' type of personality. Be assertive without being dominating, be pleasant to talk to, be a bit happy go lucky. Of course if you can be charming you've hit the jackpot. Guess most of these attributes would get you what you are looking for. Oh yes, since you say you are big boned and long legged a little practiced grace would be just what the doctor ordered! Hope this helps. Cheers. Edited October 11, 2016 by Just a Guy Paragraphing for an easier read.
GunslingerRoland Posted October 11, 2016 Posted October 11, 2016 Tall is not a negative in a woman's looks at all, and slightly overweight is attractive to many men if you have curves in the right places. Also you don't mention anything about your face which is still where 90% of attraction is found. You may very well be a stunning woman even with a few extra pounds. There is the whole confidence factor thing, but it doesn't sound like you have an over abundance of that. Don't forget style too, nice hair, well dressed, it goes a long way.
fenix Posted October 11, 2016 Posted October 11, 2016 Good girls aré boring, I married a bad girl almost 20 years ago and I am still enjoying the ride!! 1
Just a Guy Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 So Fenix can you describe your definition of 'Bad' girl? Should be interesting.
Pete2304 Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 Devotion and obedience. Best of luck with that philosophy. What utter chauvinistic drivel.
SammySammy Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 No luck needed. Just knowledge and skill. In a certain context, it's not difficult to find and have at all.
Pete2304 Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 No luck needed. Just knowledge and skill. In a certain context, it's not difficult to find and have at all. Well what a charming approach that is to take. Rather than look for an obedient partner, think I'm happy to stay single until I meet someone who I click with and we like each other because we get on, enjoy each other's company and are attracted to each other not because she is obedient. Ridiculous.
SammySammy Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 Well what a charming approach that is to take. Rather than look for an obedient partner, think I'm happy to stay single until I meet someone who I click with and we like each other because we get on, enjoy each other's company and are attracted to each other not because she is obedient. Ridiculous. Okay. "Good girls", to me, are devoted and obedient.
Author august14 Posted October 13, 2016 Author Posted October 13, 2016 There's an odd assumption here that I asked this question because I was interested in changing myself... but I'm really not. I do think people who approach me with the assumption that I'm a "good girl" will be in for a surprise, and all I'd like to know is in how many ways. Not surprised at all about the post where I'm supposed to be myself, but lose the weight and control my mouth.
Mrin Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 There's an odd assumption here that I asked this question because I was interested in changing myself... but I'm really not. I do think people who approach me with the assumption that I'm a "good girl" will be in for a surprise, and all I'd like to know is in how many ways. Not surprised at all about the post where I'm supposed to be myself, but lose the weight and control my mouth. Hiya OP! Great question. I was actually thinking about something similar this weekend. I was at a seminar and there was this woman who was in her mid to late 20's. Cute in sort of a fresh faced sort of way. A slenderish build and no real boobs. Dressed in sort of a girl next door ready to go to the amusement park sort of way. And she was really attractive. A lot of guys were noticing her. She wasn't the prettiest or the most sexy woman there. But there was something about her... and then it dawned on me. She radiated this sort of youthful fertility. It was like you could see her ovararies and uterus as some sort of blank canvass... it was honestly the weirdest sensation. She just had this aura about her that said "fertile". But that was it - I was attracted to her because of some instinctual urge to procreate. So perhaps that's what the attraction to the good girl is rooted in - an instinctual urge to mate with a healthy and fertile woman. Any other guys have this sensation? 1
Pete2304 Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 There's an odd assumption here that I asked this question because I was interested in changing myself... but I'm really not. I do think people who approach me with the assumption that I'm a "good girl" will be in for a surprise, and all I'd like to know is in how many ways. Not surprised at all about the post where I'm supposed to be myself, but lose the weight and control my mouth. I don't know about surprised, any man worth your time would be one who would realise pretty quickly that you have a mischievous side. It might be less obvious straight away than some bimbo caked in makeup but I can promise you, you are attractive. I have no idea (other than the brief description you gave) what you look like but, you're intelligent, you're comfortable being you (which is more attractive to a man than you would believe), I'm pretty sure you will have a brilliant sense of humour and any man who bothered to get to know you would pretty quickly see the mischievous side in you. Just don't bother with the type of men who respond in some of the charming ways you've seen on this thread!! Good luck, you'll be fine, I'm sure of it. 1
Pete2304 Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Hiya OP! Great question. I was actually thinking about something similar this weekend. I was at a seminar and there was this woman who was in her mid to late 20's. Cute in sort of a fresh faced sort of way. A slenderish build and no real boobs. Dressed in sort of a girl next door ready to go to the amusement park sort of way. And she was really attractive. A lot of guys were noticing her. She wasn't the prettiest or the most sexy woman there. But there was something about her... and then it dawned on me. She radiated this sort of youthful fertility. It was like you could see her ovararies and uterus as some sort of blank canvass... it was honestly the weirdest sensation. She just had this aura about her that said "fertile". But that was it - I was attracted to her because of some instinctual urge to procreate. So perhaps that's what the attraction to the good girl is rooted in - an instinctual urge to mate with a healthy and fertile woman. Any other guys have this sensation? Go and talk to your doctor, seriously. Might help you to maybe Erm...work through how you're feeling but seriously, give your doctor a call and explain your thoughts.
Mrin Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Go and talk to your doctor, seriously. Might help you to maybe Erm...work through how you're feeling but seriously, give your doctor a call and explain your thoughts. Ha! I'm all snipped and done having kids. Maybe that's it - wanting what you can't have. 1
Pete2304 Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Ha! I'm all snipped and done having kids. Maybe that's it - wanting what you can't have. Yeah a sane conversation apparently.
Just a Guy Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Ye gods Pete! You have changed have'nt you? Not the lovesick guy you came across as in your thread and the various posts therein. A new confidence and a 'Man about town air' about you. More power to you and hope you find that elusive 'Good girl' that you might be looking for. Keep posting as I'm enjoying seeing the new confidence in you. Cheers.
fenix Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 (edited) So Fenix can you describe your definition of 'Bad' girl? Should be interesting. Bad girl = Not a good girl My wife is an independent woman who has had her share of fun in life. She is not needy or possessive, she is free spirited and loves me to be that way to. She is open for anything and has her own initiatives. We have very heated arguments because she has a very strong character but we have also passionate reconciliations. (that make the arguments totally worth it!) She has a life story many men would not approve but she is not ashamed of what she has done with her life and neither I am. (I have my own story as well and we are both happy of being who we are and having each other). My concept of a good girl is a boring girl without personality who is there just to make happy their man. I guess I think about "good girls" in the same way many women think about "nice guys"... they are not that good after all, they just seem to be good. My wife is far from perfect but she is perfect to me! Okay. "Good girls", to me, are devoted and obedient. That is exactly what my wife is not! She is independent and has her own ideas... I don't want a robot besides me but a person with her own initiatives and ideas! Edited October 13, 2016 by fenix 1
SammySammy Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 That is exactly what my wife is not! She is independent and has her own ideas... I don't want a robot besides me but a person with her own initiatives and ideas! Independent women with their own ideas can be devoted and obedient too. I bet your wife could be a very good girl. 1
Just a Guy Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Oh thanks for the clarification Fenix, as long as she is not 'Naughty'. When you first said Bad Girl I wondered. I think you really meant your wife has a challenging personality and is not a 'Push over'. However, that is like having a bronco in the stable, you need skills to be able to handle one and not everyone can. But the I think like attracts like and so if your wife has that type of personality I guess you have a complementary one to gel with her! Warm wishes.
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