J dub Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Here's my poll: How many of you have been in long term relationships, gotten dumped, and strictly reinforced the NC and the ex came groveling back? Everyone who has had this happen, say "I" Oh, and please state why the breakup happened to begin with. :::raises hand::: "I!!!!!" because I am a jealous drama-filled female.
cyberbabie30 Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 "I" I have had several ex's come back, and it didnt matter who dumped who. Break ups various reasons from it just wasnt right to cheating, Never took them back of course
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 They always seem to come back, whether I'm the dumper or the dumped.
Author J dub Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Ok I Should specify -- how long did it take for them to come back and was it after NC? Mine was about 3-4 weeks after NC. And the rest were various, this was just the most recent. Almost all my ex's have made an attempt to come back tho
cyberbabie30 Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Mine were any where from 3 weeks to a year later. When they tried to come back.
markraine Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Also, ONE MORE stipulation if I may.........please state your gender as well I'm willing to bet a lot more guys came back to girls then girls that actually came back to guys
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by J dub Ok I Should specify -- how long did it take for them to come back and was it after NC? Anytime from 6 months onwards - one Juliet reappeared 3 times over a period of 4 years. Always after NC or low contact - ie infrequently with them usually taking the initiative.
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by markraine please state your gender as well Romeo is male. In case you hadn't guessed I'm willing to bet a lot more guys came back to girls then girls that actually came back to guys Probably, but not by as much of a margin as you might think.
Author J dub Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by markraine Also, ONE MORE stipulation if I may.........please state your gender as well I'm willing to bet a lot more guys came back to girls then girls that actually came back to guys I am a female -- and I have never once in my life tried to get back with an ex - they always tried first so I never had to! So yes I agree with this quote entirely. Only gave one of em a second shot though.
TUDOR Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Broke up with my g/f of two years, no contact for 1 month. She contacted me and we got back together, a year and half later we got married. I left because I realized I was very much in love with this woman and my was heart broken by my first wife. I knew if the g/f broke my heart it would hurt more than anything else had so I got scared and ran. But I learned to not fear love and gave into it.
Zaira Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 I He found someone else, I left. I was heartbroken, tried to keep up contact but he wouldn't have it. I had NC for two months, he realised the grass wasn't greener on the other side and begged for me back. Stupidly, I went.
ChinaDoll Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 To answer your question, yes -he came back 4 years after we had broken up, only to find out that I was no longer eating out of his hand anymore. I did not take him back. Too much time and hurt feelings had passed and the healing process took over and I was not interested in him. For people who have recently broken up and have been generally screwed over, I promise there will be a time when you see your exes for what they are and you will eventually not care who they are dating/marrying/returning/etc. That day may not be anytime soon, but it will come. Take it from someone who has been through hell and back pining over an ex for 2 and a half years. Those are years I can never get back.
Treasa Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 In the first five months of my relationship with my boyfriend, he broke up with me twice. I wouldn't say I maintained strict NC, but the second time I didn't talk to him for a week, at his request. I tried to focus on myself, and become a better person, and we got back together. Let's see....we got back together on October 6th, and have been together since then. So that's nine months since the last major issue, and we're very happy together right now.
RecordProducer Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 I dumped my ex-boyfriend and he came back crawling when I fell in love with another man (6 months after the break up). He was suddeenly sure he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me as opposed to before when he wasn't so sure cuz he wasn't comfortable with me having children. He is still hoping that I might break up with him and give him another chance. I told him he had his chance and blew it.
smile95 Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 I did NC and a monthlater he came back--this has happened severeal times.
Author J dub Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 Beth - what was the reason for your break up?
smile95 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 he has a lot to deal with in his life right now and could not give me what I needed. Has a young son, going thru custody and settling a divorce and also we were LD.
fundamental Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by TUDOR Broke up with my g/f of two years, no contact for 1 month. She contacted me and we got back together, a year and half later we got married. I left because I realized I was very much in love with this woman and my was heart broken by my first wife. I knew if the g/f broke my heart it would hurt more than anything else had so I got scared and ran. But I learned to not fear love and gave into it. Tudor, Ha! A lot of people on this board don't believe it's possible to get scared enough of love that they would run. It would make an interesting thread to the causes and reasons.
moon Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 "I " Boyfriend dumped me hard. I wrote him an e-mail telling him he hurt me like 8 months after the dumping and he came groveling back telling me he loved me all along and thought we were going to get married and all that other business. I maintained strict NC. I called him one time and left a phone message during the break up. He wrote me one e-mail following the call and then I wrote him one e-mail back. That was the total extent of contact for the whole 8 months. We are not back together. He didn't get how much he hurt me. He wanted to get back together. I said I didn't trust him anymore. We bickered about it and couldn't really find a common ground. He just sort of wrote it off as a loss I think. And we both can go on our own way now and live life. I can "forgive" him now. But it was great closure and I feel tons better now. It's like a weight has been lifted off of me. He's totally single now and hasn't had much luck with the ladies since we broke up, so that always helps you know. Karma can be a cruel beast. Don't mess with it!! But I said goodbye to him in a loving and nice way and feel okay about it all now.
Kat Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by J dub How many of you have been in long term relationships, gotten dumped, and strictly reinforced the NC and the ex came groveling back? Everyone who has had this happen, say "I" Oh, and please state why the breakup happened to begin with. I have. We broke up due to abuse and infidelity. I took him back because he promised to change. When it got worse I left and never went back. They are far more scarier when they know you will not be coming back
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 11, 2005 Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by Kat They are far more scarier when they know you will not be coming back
utwonderwoman Posted July 11, 2005 Posted July 11, 2005 "I" - female - he wanted to come back 4 months after he dumped me.
TUDOR Posted July 11, 2005 Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental Tudor, Ha! A lot of people on this board don't believe it's possible to get scared enough of love that they would run. It would make an interesting thread to the causes and reasons. You get burned by fire and you learn to respect and fear it for some. I got burned and the next time I saw it again I was afraid it more than anything. Make sense?
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