throwawayaccount69 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 About 9 months ago i met this girl when i was at my worst(broke,couch hopping, Jobless), I told her everything she listened dident run, I met her playing world of warcraft..We got to know each other fast was just friend. My laptop broke stopped played, I got back on my feet baught a new computer started playing wow again randomly messaged her on kik just to see if she would respond...She did instantly, I was shocked...She was pissed off i just randomly left ...It was a luck thing i randomly met her playing WoW and she just happened to live 20 minutes away from me......Over past month and half we have gotten close....We are dating at this point, We are in love with each other...I live in north carolina age of consent here is 16...I dident intentionally try to hook up with a 16 year old girl , It just happened ...we are so much alike its scarey, She is a female version of me and shes as mature as i am for my age (not much but maturer than girls her age)....I am deeply in love with girls and she is same...She cant let her mom know at all, We meet up at local places to hang out (mall, food places, movies) etc...Shes a virgin, I Told her i was willing to wait to make it offical/sex as long as she needs...I truely love this girl and i know some people see what we are doing as idioct/pedofile....I'm not praying on a 16 year old, I just happened to fall in love with someone who is exactly like me....My question to you people is "is what im doing okay" It's not like im going after this girl cause shes 16 and a virgin...I could give as **** about, I love this girl for her...She doesnt have very many friends in school, I was same, Shes nerdy/im nerdy, We are alike so much ...I just need to know what im doing is okay, I'm okay with it for most part...Im writing this because she end up telling her aunt, Her aunt is okay with it knowing the kinda person i am...She cant ever tell her mom till shes 18 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 You should not enable a 16 year old to keep an entire relationship secret from her mother. Encourage her to talk to her mom. Her mom needs to know where she is and who she's with. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I had a 19 year old BF at age 15. it could work sure but maybe in a year or so, she is probably going to change as a person and want to spread her wings and move on. So be prepared to expect that. I have known others who have dated teenagers, and what happened was once they turned legal drinking age (19 here in Canada) they got dumped and their GF/ex hit the clubs for the attention of other guys. She may not go that route, but she just might become more extrovert over time. **I play wow too (since Burning Crusade)....so how are you liking the demon hunter? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Is her dad in the picture? A dad may take this kind of hard, and make your life, you know, difficult. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author throwawayaccount69 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Is her dad in the picture? A dad may take this kind of hard, and make your life, you know, difficult. Nope and shes adopted ..her adopted parents will kick her out day she turns 18 Link to post Share on other sites
Author throwawayaccount69 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 I had a 19 year old BF at age 15. it could work sure but maybe in a year or so, she is probably going to change as a person and want to spread her wings and move on. So be prepared to expect that. I have known others who have dated teenagers, and what happened was once they turned legal drinking age (19 here in Canada) they got dumped and their GF/ex hit the clubs for the attention of other guys. She may not go that route, but she just might become more extrovert over time. **I play wow too (since Burning Crusade)....so how are you liking the demon hunter? Its my main love it Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I think you know it's very odd or you wouldn't be asking if it was okay. It didn't 'just happen', you found out she was 16 and pursued a relationship with her willingly. The age difference wouldn't be a huge problem if you were both over 18, but she's only 16. She's not even done growing yet. Personally, I would question what a 22 year old can find in a 16 year old that he can't find in a woman his own age. She can't tell her mother about it so she's sneaking around with you, she's still living at home and dependent on her family, you're in two very different places in life. You're willing to be a secret until she turns 18, but I imagine she will have moved on from you well before then. Especially if she ends up going to college. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
FTM042014 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 This seems...wrong. She's not an adult yet. You are dating someone who is NOT AN ADULT. Maybe I'm biased. I find teenagers to be generally annoying. Even the "mature" ones. I can't imagine holding conversations and getting close to a 16 year old. As an adult man are you not attracted to adult women? I'm hoping this is a one time thing or there maybe something you need to seriously address about yourself. I have a natural revulsion to looking at any woman under 19 as a potential love interest. Now I am 34, so I won't go under 28 these days. But still. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 About 9 months ago i met this girl when i was at my worst(broke,couch hopping, Jobless), I told her everything she listened dident run, I met her playing world of warcraft..We got to know each other fast was just friend. My laptop broke stopped played, I got back on my feet baught a new computer started playing wow again randomly messaged her on kik just to see if she would respond...She did instantly, I was shocked...She was pissed off i just randomly left ...It was a luck thing i randomly met her playing WoW and she just happened to live 20 minutes away from me......Over past month and half we have gotten close....We are dating at this point, We are in love with each other...I live in north carolina age of consent here is 16...I dident intentionally try to hook up with a 16 year old girl , It just happened ...we are so much alike its scarey, She is a female version of me and shes as mature as i am for my age (not much but maturer than girls her age)....I am deeply in love with girls and she is same...She cant let her mom know at all, We meet up at local places to hang out (mall, food places, movies) etc...Shes a virgin, I Told her i was willing to wait to make it offical/sex as long as she needs...I truely love this girl and i know some people see what we are doing as idioct/pedofile....I'm not praying on a 16 year old, I just happened to fall in love with someone who is exactly like me....My question to you people is "is what im doing okay" It's not like im going after this girl cause shes 16 and a virgin...I could give as **** about, I love this girl for her...She doesnt have very many friends in school, I was same, Shes nerdy/im nerdy, We are alike so much ...I just need to know what im doing is okay, I'm okay with it for most part...Im writing this because she end up telling her aunt, Her aunt is okay with it knowing the kinda person i am...She cant ever tell her mom till shes 18 First of all, this has zero to do with pedophilia - as that pertains to prepubescent people. Second, when it comes to somebody's right to vote, do we just give it to them, upon their attaining the age we (as a society) set as the bar, or do we give it to them conditionally ?? So if the girl is sixteen, in a state which at some point decided for itself that sixteen is the age of consent, then should we then tell the person essentially that she can't vote for THAT person, at (18), but it's OK to vote for that other person at (18)? But the major factor at work here seems to be that you were in a particularly down time in your young life, when you first encountered this girl, and, partly with her inspiration (and interest ) you inspired yourself to keep going... and THAT (really helped) I can recognize the bond from that, and how meaningful it may well be. It's just... there are going to continue to be so many hurdles to this... Were it just a complex mental puzzle, the right move would be to wait and wait and wait, before you pounce (in order to afford the best chance at LONG-term romantic success). But with emotions involved, you just won't be able to resist moving too soon, and will probably hasten the point at which everything blows-up in your faces, as a result. (and I'm not talking about first sexual contact) Two years feels like forever in your respective lives, but to merely retain her as an internet friend, for that amount of time, will grandly increase your chances of knowing a long-term romance with her. So ultimately you have to decide what your priorities are. Link to post Share on other sites
Midnight_Madness Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 Hi, Perusing a relationship with this girl is possible. Is it right or wrong? I don't think that is for anyone to decide without knowing the entirety of the situation. And even then judgements can be misinformed. Dating someone younger or older presents various issues specific to the situation, many of which you need to be weary of. Keep yourself up to date on age gap relationships, the consequences of them (good and bad) and make an informed decision from there. Kind wishes for the future ?. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 You are asking the question so you obviously feel uncomfortable with it. Why not just wait a couple of years and see if you still want to date her then? You can also use that time to work and save up etc. Get more secure in yourself... Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 At 16, she is still a kid for a 22 year old guy. When she is 30 and you are 38, no would blink an eye, nor would you. Pass. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 Well it depends on her level of maturity, some 16 year olds are 16 going on 40 and others are 16 going on 6. Just because she acts "mature" though, doesn't mean she is mature. She is a vulnerable person, due to her age, due to the fact she hasn't got any friends and the fact she is adopted (btw why would her adopted parents kick her out at 18?). I am actually glad you are not having sex as I guess she could be easily exploited and on the other hand she could actually "trap" you here by getting herself pregnant. Young girls can sometimes see a baby as the answer to their problems. Be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 (edited) I'm a everyday Wow player and I think this is really really weird sorry but I do, the moment you knew her age you should of left it to an online friendship or just a general friendship, but you yes you took it to a whole new level, i'm sure if other people in wow know they think it's weird too perhaps not vocalizing it if they do know. A man your age should know it's questionable why you would even consider datinga teenage girl and the fact you had opportunity to stop it before it went to life to me is you preying. The fact her mom doesn't know is even more freaky and the amount of times you mention she mustnt find out is wild....her mom NEEDS to know if your not comfortable with her mother knowing it's hard to believe this relationships just "happened" Yes I'm being totally judgmental because as a player I know that the large majority of players on that game are desperate, lacking in social skills and a lot are actually verbally abusive from lacking these skills. A lot have no friends and use the game as their platform of socialism. I hear stories like this in game all the time and it's cringe worthy. Youre latching onto this 16 year old girl out of desperation imo because there was no reason to take it to this level just because you play the same game and she's "just like you" ya when you were taking 16? you should of shut it down ages ago. Im 30 and have 20 year old guys chasing me on game I shut that down fast because they don't even realize what they're chasing the age gap is massive, mentally and maturity. Edited October 4, 2016 by Omei 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 The only fair way forward is with the consent of the parent(s). Until she becomes emancipated, or at least moves out, she is a minor in the care of her guardian. A few rules: 1. Make sure she gets on contraception. 2. No kids for 10 years. 3. No marriage for 10 years. Most likely outcome if you stay together: She gets pregnant before she turns 20. Then you guys break up within the next 3 years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 When I was 20, I briefly tried dating a 16 year old girl I met online. She was really mature on the outside, but it only took a couple of dates for the immaturity to come out. Don't be surprised when the same happens to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 When I was 16, Al Gore hadn't invented online yet. (and the age of consent was 18) It's amazing that Gore went on to invent Global Warming AND serve as Vice President as well. No wonder Tipper loves him so... I think a key to this particular equation is the place in life where the OP was when he first encountered this girl. He's likely in a much better place now, and he may well have inspired himself with her as motivation... and of course he's quite attached for that reason. It's gonna be tough to break (or refrain). Once upon a time I was in an 18 & up chatroom, where I befriended a person who eventually told of being 17... most of her lifetime has gone by since then and we remain friends to this day. So the OP really could - if he wanted to... slow his roll, and wait patiently while valuing the friendship in the present. Link to post Share on other sites
Author throwawayaccount69 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Share Posted October 5, 2016 welp that escalted quickly We had sex Link to post Share on other sites
AMJ Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 No one else has said this yet, but having sex with minors is illegal, statutory rape actually. So...be careful. You probably shouldn't do that again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author throwawayaccount69 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Share Posted October 5, 2016 No one else has said this yet, but having sex with minors is illegal, statutory rape actually. So...be careful. You probably shouldn't do that again. not in my state https://www.ageofconsent.net/states/north-carolina Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 Regardless of the age of consent, her parents are still responsible for her health and well being at 16. You are an adult, so you should know this. Has she told her mother or her aunt that she's having sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author throwawayaccount69 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Share Posted October 5, 2016 Regardless of the age of consent, her parents are still responsible for her health and well being at 16. You are an adult, so you should know this. Has she told her mother or her aunt that she's having sex? She told her aunt and her aunt supports her...Its not that i dont want her to tell her mom everything its her mom is abusive Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 She told her aunt and her aunt supports her...Its not that i dont want her to tell her mom everything its her mom is abusive Sex is a heavy responsibility for a 16 year old girl. I have a daughter around that age, and, as a parent, my concerns are: --has she had the Gardasil vaccine? --is she on birth control? --is she insisting on condoms for STI protection? --is she having sex for her pleasure, or for other reasons? --what are her thoughts on unplanned pregnancy? --is she educated about HSV, HPV, HIV, and other STIs? --does she know and understand the effects of both abortion and childbirth on a female's body? These are just a few thoughts off the top of my head. Have you had these discussions with her? Because someone needs to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chphan Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 I just need to know what im doing is okay, I'm okay with it for most part...Im writing this because she end up telling her aunt, Her aunt is okay with it knowing the kinda person i am...She cant ever tell her mom till shes 18 It is not okay. The fact you have to ask a bunch of us if it is okay tells everyone deep down you know it is not okay but hoping others to convince you it is. If you really think it is okay then have her tell her mom about you. If fact why don't get permission from her mom?? You probably don't want to do that because you know it's not okay and know the answer yourself. I bet the mom won't think it is okay. Once that happens the butterfly effect of this will come to reality that it is not okay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author throwawayaccount69 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Share Posted October 5, 2016 Sex is a heavy responsibility for a 16 year old girl. I have a daughter around that age, and, as a parent, my concerns are: --has she had the Gardasil vaccine? --is she on birth control? --is she insisting on condoms for STI protection? --is she having sex for her pleasure, or for other reasons? --what are her thoughts on unplanned pregnancy? --is she educated about HSV, HPV, HIV, and other STIs? --does she know and understand the effects of both abortion and childbirth on a female's body? These are just a few thoughts off the top of my head. Have you had these discussions with her? Because someone needs to. ye no we dident first time, But ill try to remind myself aftwards or get her birth controle She doesnt really have an opinion, But i dont want her to waste her life cause we both horny and she gets pregnent As much as highschool teachs you Donno we sorta have but not really, its more of we are madly in love and emotions move and sometimes things just happen Link to post Share on other sites
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