frankthetank10 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I have been out with this girl 6x's already. I text her on a Wednesday to make plans for Saturday. She enthusiastically responded with exclamation points, emojis, and how that 'sounds fun'. I set things for Saturday, she said she can make it (though I didnt give a specific time yet) and she continued the conversations asking me about things giving emojis etc. All seemed good. There is no contact between us until I message her early Saturday letting her know what time I can pick her up that night. She replied "ugh I totally forgot " and then "im sorry' nothing else. I replied "its ok no worries" (trying not make a big deal out of it) and nothing else from her. No suggestion for rescheduling, or saying some other time, or asking when Im free. No signs she wanted to converse or see me after 'forgetting'. There was no contact either way for a week after this until I text her a pic today that was an inside joke between us to test the waters. Her response "aww thats great haha!". Her reply didnt suggest she wanted to engage in convo so I didnt reply. So it appears her interest is dropping. But I'm confused why when we're dating, things are going well, and she eagerly accepts the next date she all of a sudden 'forgets' our date and goes cold. Should I actually believe she forgot? (she is busy starting a brands new full time job beginning September and takes classes 3 nights a week also so shes a lot busier now then when we started dating in the summer). Regardless if you are truly feeling someone you don't 'forget' when you can see them again. Is she just too busy with other things in life that dating isnt a priority now? I plan to leave things alone and not message her until she reaches out to me. Any other insight or advice how to proceed would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
jen1447 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 Let her go. This is an indirect way of saying "no thanks" - to everything. Ppl don't 'forget' like that unless they've had a brain injury. As to why, sorry but my guess is it's either you put her feet to sleep (and yes that impression can come on suddenly) or she's had her interest piqued by someone else. Or a combination of both. 7
Zahara Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 But I'm confused why when we're dating, things are going well, and she eagerly accepts the next date she all of a sudden 'forgets' our date and goes cold. She was probably seeing other guys as well and maybe decided to move on with one of them, maybe she liked the attention while it lasted, maybe she liked you in the beginning but interest faded, maybe she was looking for free meals, etc. No one can absolutely tell why she walked away. Should I actually believe she forgot? If I was into a guy, trust me, I am not forgetting! Is she just too busy with other things in life that dating isnt a priority now? Possibly. The bottom line is that she is not interested. I plan to leave things alone and not message her until she reaches out to me. Any other insight or advice how to proceed would be appreciated. Thanks guys. Yes, don't reach out anymore. 2
doyathinkso Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 Don't sweat it. She just wasn't the one. Remember, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your princess. 2
rester Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 It's over unfortunately. I believe that after six dates a brief explanation would be common courtesy but I wouldn't expect it at this point. She took the easy (and cowardly, in my opinion) way out. 5
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I'm with Jen on this one. Who 'forgets' a date with someone you want to date? Someone whose no longer interested, that's who. As for why, who the hell knows except her. If I had to guess I'd say someone else has captured her attention and she's fading as a result. Time to move on. 4
smudge21 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 People don't forget things that are important to them. Let this one go and look elsewhere. If she reaches out (typically the case when one stops chasing) then let her do a bit of chasing.. if you're still interested by then. 1
smackie9 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 Well we have another thread where the girl went out on some dates telling the guy the dates are good, etc, but has no interest and wants to figure out a way to nicely turn him down. So just because dates are accepted and go ok doesn't mean there is going to be a love connection. Some avoid the drama and ghost or give lame excuses or whatever. She has no real interest, move on.
Nightwriter Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 This is why dating today can be so confusing. It's obvious she isn't interested but probably didn't have the courage to tell him straight up. For anyone reading this, if you've gone on a couple of dates with someone and are not interested, just say so. Don't ghost. Don't fade. Don't try to get the other party to break up with you. It's rude and selfish and makes dating hard for everyone around you. 2
Acacia98 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I plan to leave things alone and not message her until she reaches out to me. Any other insight or advice how to proceed would be appreciated. Thanks guys. I'd actually recommend that you don't message her even if she reaches out to you. She doesn't come across as a particularly considerate person. Delete her phone number. 2
Acacia98 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 For anyone reading this, if you've gone on a couple of dates with someone and are not interested, just say so. Don't ghost. Don't fade. Don't try to get the other party to break up with you. It's rude and selfish and makes dating hard for everyone around you. I agree with you. I wish more people were mature about this sort of thing. But they're not. So I've learned to appreciate the ghosters for pulling their disappearing acts. At least ghosting is an unambiguous "no" (to me it is, anyway). If someone ghosts, it's so rude that you can easily ignore them when they do decide to pop out of the woodwork again. Faders are the truly annoying ones, as are the manipulative ones who try to get the other to break up.
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