post breakup frustration...

[accident_prone]

i split up with my ex girlfriend a couple months ago when she became depressed and needed to be alone. aside from that at the very end, it was a pretty great year and a half with her. now i have this weird feeling ever since and its not the normal feelings of post-breakup sadness as i barely even think about her anymore. while of course i was upset over the loss, this is more of an emotionally drained feeling. i have had relationships end in the past and cant really recall feeling this same way. i have a pretty busy life with work and a few social things here and there, but ultimately i just feel like im emotionally frazzled and alone, when i am far from alone. its a weird feeling and hard to explain. i can go out with friends and do things and socialize and be okay and feel happy but as soon as that distraction stops, i just feel tired and hollowed out. i feel no motivation or confidence. a beautiful girl could fall into my life tomorrow and i dont know that i could sustain anything.

 

has anyone had anything like this happen to them? and what can i/should i do to help?

 

i think i need a serious pep talk.

 

thanks.

Edited October 3, 2016 by accident_prone

[NCmav]

i split up with my ex girlfriend a couple months ago when she became depressed and needed to be alone. aside from that at the very end, it was a pretty great year and a half with her. now i have this weird feeling ever since and its not the normal feelings of post-breakup sadness as i barely even think about her anymore. while of course i was upset over the loss, this is more of an emotionally drained feeling. i have had relationships end in the past and cant really recall feeling this same way. i have a pretty busy life with work and a few social things here and there, but ultimately i just feel like im emotionally frazzled and alone, when i am far from alone. its a weird feeling and hard to explain. i can go out with friends and do things and socialize and be okay and feel happy but as soon as that distraction stops, i just feel tired and hollowed out. i feel no motivation or confidence. a beautiful girl could fall into my life tomorrow and i dont know that i could sustain anything.

 

has anyone had anything like this happen to them? and what can i/should i do to help?

 

i think i need a serious pep talk.

 

thanks.

 

 

I think most of us have felt what you are feeling.

 

 

A few years ago I got out of a relationship where I poured everything I had into it, and when it was over I felt drained. I didn't have anything to give to other areas of my life (work, school, etc). Best advice I got back then was to take some "me" time and just focus on you and build that energy back up. Workout, go for a hike, read a new book. Relationships take work, and when you put in more than you get the tank gets empty. Focus on refilling it!

[Nowty V]

Might the breakup have affected you deeper than you are allowing? Maybe a touch of depression?

 

A dose of the gym may help, get the endorphins flowing

[ChatroomHero]

its not the normal feelings of post-breakup sadness as i barely even think about her anymore. while of course i was upset over the loss, this is more of an emotionally drained feeling.

 

 

I have had something like this and it is weird, like you feel worse for not feeling worse and thinking of her more. I felt like somehow I was being hurtful to her because I was easily forgetting about her or I didn't care enough.

 

 

I was drained as in I wasn't looking forward to getting in another relationship and potentially getting close to someone and thinking they might one day become a stranger I don't think about as well?? I felt down on relationships as a whole and starting over too.

 

 

For me it was just a thing of wanting to be on my own more than wanting to be in a relationship. I kind of emotionally checked out. What I found is I check back in if I meet someone I click with.

 

 

Maybe you are just ready to do things on your own and are realizing you don't want another relationship in the near future?

[NopeNah]

Was talking with a buddy today about this. To me it's the feeling of "ehhhh". I have a few women wanting to go out with me(I'm 2 months post my breaking up with her) but, I just don't have the energy at the moment to even think about dating. To me dating is like having another job and "ain't nobody gots time fo dat!" is my feeling. The texts,calls,making plans,ect..again "ehhhhh".

[Frozensushi]

) I have a few women wanting to go out with me but, I just don't have the energy at the moment to even think about dating. To me dating is like having another job and "ain't nobody gots time fo dat!" is my feeling. The texts,calls,making plans,ect..again "ehhhhh".

 

It's so true, it is like another job! It takes so much energy and effort, or at least that's how it feels, to make it work. I just got out of a relationship and I suddenly found myself with so much more free time to do activities that have been on the backburner forever.

 

Having to start from scratch to rebuild a whole new relationship takes a lot of work. It's no simple task. Maybe that's why they say take time to work on yourself, do hobbies, have fun etc.

[NopeNah]

It's so true, it is like another job! It takes so much energy and effort, or at least that's how it feels, to make it work. I just got out of a relationship and I suddenly found myself with so much more free time to do activities that have been on the backburner forever.

 

Having to start from scratch to rebuild a whole new relationship takes a lot of work. It's no simple task. Maybe that's why they say take time to work on yourself, do hobbies, have fun etc.

With my ex it was easy because she has some signs of bpd so, she was the one coming on strong dong ALL the work at the start. I thought "wow!! I've never had someone like/want to be with me this much"..Then the "show" ended about a year in..Yikes!