Hella Lost Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I've been dating sites for a while, but I've never seen someone I liked. Think this morning this beautiful girl messaged me. We small talked she asked if we could go out sometime & when. I told her I have to wait and see when my schedule is free. I usually like to get to know someone before I go out on a date, & she was short with me & wanted my number. Should I just go out with her first, even though I hardly know anything about her besides her Instagram pictures?
CarrieT Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 Why not? A lot of us that did the online dating thing want to cut to the chase and NOT spend a lot of time texting back-and-forth. It can be a total time suck and waste of time to invest in "getting to know someone" when it may just come down to ease of being with another and having sparks. What harm is there is a basic coffee date? You meet, chat a little, and see if there is any reason to continue... 1
Smoothman Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I'll tell you a story. I once spent a couple weeks texting a woman, we had a great rapport, and goods interaction. She then rang me, and again, it was great, happy, chatty, good conversation. We then arranged our first date and met... You know when you light a firecracker, and it just sort, of fizzles and goes out... Yeah, Total Disaster The only thing you shoudl do on text is: 1. Establish that the other party is not a wachkjob, nutcase, or bunny boiler, as best you can. 2. Arrange a meeting, just a drink or coffee. that's it. This whole idea you need to get to know each first is baloney, because you CAN'T over text! 3
Author Hella Lost Posted October 3, 2016 Author Posted October 3, 2016 That's one of the reasons that I like to get to know a girl, because I'm worried she's one of those crazy girls. She posted something about her ex on IG about an hour ago.. & I'm hoping I'm not just a rebound. The only reason I'm interested is because she's drop dead gorgeous & she seems easy to get.
CarrieT Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 she's drop dead gorgeous & she seems easy to get. So, do you want an easy lay or do you want something else? Because if fast sex is all you are after, then why do you care if she is one of those "crazy girls?" But if you want a substantial, long-standing relationship, than the "easy to get" part is a non sequitur.
preraph Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 That's one of the reasons that I like to get to know a girl, because I'm worried she's one of those crazy girls. She posted something about her ex on IG about an hour ago.. & I'm hoping I'm not just a rebound. The only reason I'm interested is because she's drop dead gorgeous & she seems easy to get. Do some internet sleuthing using her photo and make sure she's not just an internet prostitute first. These come in all forms and there's lots of them and they work fast. She could just be after a free meal or she could be thinking you'll pay her. But take her photo and run it through Google Image Search and see what you can find out. But then as long as you feel she is not so out of your league that you suspect something is up, go on and meet up for a quick coffee date. Remember, if it seems too good to be true, it usually is on the internet. Also, see if she'll either talk on the phone or skype first. Then see if she acts normal on the phone or if she's just trying to sex you up with flattery and sex talk. 1
Redhead14 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I've been dating sites for a while, but I've never seen someone I liked. Think this morning this beautiful girl messaged me. We small talked she asked if we could go out sometime & when. I told her I have to wait and see when my schedule is free. I usually like to get to know someone before I go out on a date, & she was short with me & wanted my number. Should I just go out with her first, even though I hardly know anything about her besides her Instagram pictures? From OLD, the first meeting is a short meet up for drinks and maybe appetizers or coffee and -- it's not an official "date". You do a little chit chat on line and then if you seem to like each other enough there, at least, you cut to the chase and just meet them in person. YOu don't spend a lot of money or time (unless you're really hitting it off) and then you decide if you want a "real" date. You'll get a little better sense about each other in person. If it's a short meet up without a lot of money, you haven't invested much. There's nothing to lose. My motto is get it off line quickly so you don't waste a ton of time or let yourself get all caught up in the "what ifs" or emotionally attached to the vision or idea you create in your head about the person. You'll see all over these boards stories about people who communicated online for months, get attached and when they meet in person, the person doesn't live up to their idealized version of the person. But, you need to get clear in your head about what you want -- if you want to date someone with the eventual goal of having a relationship, you need to find out if that person wants the same things. It's not about with each other at that point, just overall goal. But, if you just want a hook up and she's looking for a relationship as a goal, then it's not going to work anyway. So get that stuff cleared up right away.
Author Hella Lost Posted October 3, 2016 Author Posted October 3, 2016 So, do you want an easy lay or do you want something else? Because if fast sex is all you are after, then why do you care if she is one of those "crazy girls?" But if you want a substantial, long-standing relationship, than the "easy to get" part is a non sequitur. I mean, I won't lie I have standards when it comes to looks. Call me shallow but I try to talk to good looking girls but they seem not interested. The girls who want me are unattractive.
Author Hella Lost Posted October 3, 2016 Author Posted October 3, 2016 Do some internet sleuthing using her photo and make sure she's not just an internet prostitute first. These come in all forms and there's lots of them and they work fast. She could just be after a free meal or she could be thinking you'll pay her. But take her photo and run it through Google Image Search and see what you can find out. But then as long as you feel she is not so out of your league that you suspect something is up, go on and meet up for a quick coffee date. Remember, if it seems too good to be true, it usually is on the internet. Also, see if she'll either talk on the phone or skype first. Then see if she acts normal on the phone or if she's just trying to sex you up with flattery and sex talk. I went on her tumblr, and she there's a lot of things on there about being heartbroken. Seems she broke up just this past summer. Her dating profile did say that she's looking for a long term relationship, etc. I sure hope she's not trying to take advantage of me.
Author Hella Lost Posted October 3, 2016 Author Posted October 3, 2016 From OLD, the first meeting is a short meet up for drinks and maybe appetizers or coffee and -- it's not an official "date". You do a little chit chat on line and then if you seem to like each other enough there, at least, you cut to the chase and just meet them in person. YOu don't spend a lot of money or time (unless you're really hitting it off) and then you decide if you want a "real" date. You'll get a little better sense about each other in person. If it's a short meet up without a lot of money, you haven't invested much. There's nothing to lose. My motto is get it off line quickly so you don't waste a ton of time or let yourself get all caught up in the "what ifs" or emotionally attached to the vision or idea you create in your head about the person. You'll see all over these boards stories about people who communicated online for months, get attached and when they meet in person, the person doesn't live up to their idealized version of the person. But, you need to get clear in your head about what you want -- if you want to date someone with the eventual goal of having a relationship, you need to find out if that person wants the same things. It's not about with each other at that point, just overall goal. But, if you just want a hook up and she's looking for a relationship as a goal, then it's not going to work anyway. So get that stuff cleared up right away. I'm trying to set up a date, but I started this new job I don't know my schedule yet. I want a relationship & looks like she does too according to her dating profile. I'll take your advice about trying not to get attached & keep texting her.
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