How to Proceed With This Girl/Friend of Two Years Overseas?

[regulator47]

Hi,

 

I have a question here for guys and ladies alike and need a general consensus on the next steps for me in my situation.

 

There's this woman who I met while living in Germany, we were roommates and lived together for a short time. We started to fall in love with one another but I had to cut things short and move back to the US.

 

Now, there's been this other guy she was with but Im fairly certain they have broken up. Her and I have always been in good/really good contact until he came along so now I'm sort of getting things back to where they were.

 

However I don't know what to do next because I want to move back to Germany where she is, but I want to make sure I don't waste my time and that she actually wants to be together with me in a relationship.

 

We never really got the chance to date or anything, but she's mentioned before that she's "not uncertain about me" when I've brought up the topic.

 

So I'm asking everyone here....what's the best way to see her thoughts on it now? Can anyone give me an exact good phrasing on how to ask the question? Should I just go there and find out and hope for the best? I'm pretty confident it would work out in my favor but it's such a big decision I want to make sure.

 

Do I just ask her outright or mention it in more of a subtle way?

 

I know that she doesn't like long distance things.

 

Any questions you have or need to know more info let me know.

 

Please let me know. Any examples of what to say to her now would be great. Thanks.

 

 

P.S. She is pretty insecure about herself too, so please tailor your response on how to talk to an insecure girl about something like this. Much appreciated.

Edited October 2, 2016 by regulator47
New Update

[Gloria25]

Moving just to date someone is a bit much, IMO.

 

If you were moving there and had your own place, job, and life...then yea, going there wouldn't be like you were leaving everything to just date someone.

 

I mean, think about it. When people date, there's a chance they will break up. Dating is to figure out if you're a match with someone (i.e. to get married) or if you just want company. Going all the way to Germany just for company would be a bit much, IMO. Also, going all the way to Germany risking the reality that "what if" it doesn't work out is really a bit much, IMO.

 

Also, you already have rocky history with her. I mean, if you two dated in the same zip code for like a year, have a strong foundation - then yea, maybe moving to Germany to continue it wouldn't be tooo much of a risk. But even in that case, never move just to be with someone...they'll take you for granted and if it doesn't work out, then what about the family, job and/or friends you left behind?

[regulator47]

Well, it wouldn't exactly be "moving there just to date someone" considering I actually really want to live in Germany again.

 

I am just looking for an answer on how to approach the topic with her, whether to let her know I am moving there for my own life or let her know I expect to be able to date her.

 

It would be nice to know from her whether or not she wants to live with me again after I return.

 

Thanks.