Frozensushi Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Is it painful and does it hurt? Absolutely. But, as the days and weeks pass, you realize how effective it is to move forward with your life. It hurts to block them. It hurts when they block you. You are essentially closing the door. Cutting the cord. No breadcrumbs, no FB stalking to keep tabs on them, or them on you. It's over. It's a tremendous loss. Let yourself grieve. I think everyone here has regrets in some form or another. It's okay. We have all made mistakes. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. Dwelling about sad things in the past is like a dog returning to his own vomit. NC is how we begin to get on with our life. Our Ex's aren't losing sleep over us, why should we be losing sleep over them? You know? 4
juniorrocha Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Thanks. Not sure I've made the right decision blocking him as actually feel worse now. Does it get better? It took me 2 months and a half to finally block my ex everywhere, even though I was on NC and not following/checking on her at all. I cried a lot after doing it, but at the same time I felt relieved. You said you wanted to send your ex an e-mail. I thought about it too. Because deep inside, there was still this imaginary connection between us that made me want to tell her why. But it doesn't matter why. You don't have to tell your ex anything. It doesn't matter what he's going to think about you, because he's not part of your life anymore. Getting completely disconnected from your ex is what is going to let you move on. Don't send the e-mail. Don't send anything. You'll be fine. 4
whatnot Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 Thanks. Not sure I've made the right decision blocking him as actually feel worse now. Does it get better?I've gone back and forth on this. the deal is....she never wanted me to see her facebook page.....ever. LOL And still..... "What kind of fool am I..." Hang in there. It's a season, not a day. good luck 2
Author bubbl Posted October 2, 2016 Author Posted October 2, 2016 Thanks for your replies, guys. Feeling a little better today. I guess I do worry too much about him hurting etc, but it's not like he's worrying about me all the time- he's getting on with his life, like I should do. Thanks, and hopefully the next few weeks & months will get better and I won't feel the urge to check how he's doing. 2
juniorrocha Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 Thanks for your replies, guys. Feeling a little better today. I guess I do worry too much about him hurting etc, but it's not like he's worrying about me all the time- he's getting on with his life, like I should do. Thanks, and hopefully the next few weeks & months will get better and I won't feel the urge to check how he's doing. That's the key. If you still care about hurting him when at the end of the day he's long gone, you'll be only sabotaging yourself. As long as it doesn't involve him in any matter, I suggest you to practice this: whenever you feel like your ex is keeping you from doing something that you think is important for your healing/well being, go ahead and do it. When my ex crossed my mind while I was thinking about doing something, I immediatly thought: I'll do it anyway. It really helps.
Trinity_84 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 (edited) Also, a part of me wants to send him a quick email just telling him why I had to block him (for my own self-growth), rather than it being some passive-aggressive dig at him. I know this is probably a bad idea, but there was a tiny bit of contact over some practical issues, and he was actually really nice. However, he ended it and has so far not said, "i want to get back together" and so it's clear he doesn't want me back, romantically. Ok I will admit I blocked my ex without speaking with him or explaining myself, because it's what felt right back then. But several months after the break up, when I felt good enough within myself to send him the message, I told him I did it for my own reasons, that it was nothing personal. I apologized if it had upset him (it probably - very likely- did not), but it's OK. I felt a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. Maybe it was the last thing I needed to do to be able to fly again. I did that for myself, just like I blocked him for myself. So maybe don't explain anything now, because the wound is still fresh and it might ellicit a response (or a lack of response) that will hurt you. If you want to do it, do it when you've moved on. By then it might not even matter anymore, but if you're like me (a sensitive, caring person) then you might still have that little pebble in your shoe, even if essentially it doesn't matter if you explain/apologize or not. Make every decision about YOU. Not them. Edited October 31, 2016 by Trinity_84
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