v3o3d3 Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 I have a crush on a female work colleague whos a lot younger than me. We flirt, play fight and banter alot. I feel as though my crush on her is beginning to get out of control. I dont know what to do to control it. Ive tried avoiding her and stopping the playfulness. But because its a small store she notices straight away and accuses me of being angry or moody. In which she proceeds to play fight with me or some other playful act. Should i tell her about how i feel?. Any help would be much appreciated.
SoulCat Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Tell her that your behaviour of flirting, banter and play-fighting is not professional, and that you both may end up in trouble with HR. Tell her that you don't want to jeopardise either of your career progression so therefore it needs to stop. Or, if you are inclined to go that way, tell her you met somebody special and you're no longer comfortable interacting with her that way. But be prepared to have to lie for some time after to keep this up. 1
Miss Clavel Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 I have a crush on a female work colleague whos a lot younger than me. We flirt, play fight and banter alot. I feel as though my crush on her is beginning to get out of control. I dont know what to do to control it. Ive tried avoiding her and stopping the playfulness. But because its a small store she notices straight away and accuses me of being angry or moody. In which she proceeds to play fight with me or some other playful act. Should i tell her about how i feel?. Any help would be much appreciated. my crush is much younger and we have worked together for 12 years. we slept together without anyone finding out for more than five years, off and on. so i know people can work together and be together and more importantly, they can work together and not be together. it's up to you. why not just talk to her? i worked up the nerve to ask mine over to my place . i just said, "i think you're interesting and i'm interested in you, wanna come over and hang"? he said yes. good luck
Author v3o3d3 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Posted October 1, 2016 Tell her that your behaviour of flirting, banter and play-fighting is not professional, and that you both may end up in trouble with HR. Tell her that you don't want to jeopardise either of your career progression so therefore it needs to stop. Or, if you are inclined to go that way, tell her you met somebody special and you're no longer comfortable interacting with her that way. But be prepared to have to lie for some time after to keep this up. The place that i work is laid back so alot of "unprofessional" topics are discussed and banter is rife. my crush is much younger and we have worked together for 12 years. we slept together without anyone finding out for more than five years, off and on. so i know people can work together and be together and more importantly, they can work together and not be together. it's up to you. why not just talk to her? i worked up the nerve to ask mine over to my place . i just said, "i think you're interesting and i'm interested in you, wanna come over and hang"? he said yes. good luck the only place i could talk to her would be in work, i guess the only way to be clear on how shes feels is to talk to her.
Offspring Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 If it's only a retail store, then perhaps you could ask her out one night or afternoon. If it is a highly professionalised corporation, it might be a bit different, and could be construed as harrassment and go to HR if it all got ugly.
Osmium13 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 Depends on how free and single you both are and how bothered you'd be if it doesn't work out! Are you a manager? Would you care that much if you or her ended up having to move on, in a worst case scenario? Unless you're the one counting the coins, at the end of the day it's just a job. You can always go and make someone else their money, especially if your role is not particularly "skilled", so to speak...
Author v3o3d3 Posted October 4, 2016 Author Posted October 4, 2016 Im actually looking for another job anyway. I tried to ask her out today but i just couldn't do it. My nerves were too much lol
Mr. Lucky Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 I have a crush on a female work colleague whos a lot younger than me. What are your ages ??? Mr. Lucky
Popsicle Posted October 5, 2016 Posted October 5, 2016 Either tell her or find another girl to crush on.
Author v3o3d3 Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 What are your ages ??? Mr. Lucky I'm 30 and she's 19. She has a male "friend" who she hangs around with and talks to a lot. She says he's not her boyfriend but he wants to be. Perhaps she just likes the attention I give her and flirts back. Just to answer the questions about the workplace. Its not a "professional" job and there have been staff relationships in there in the past.
Mr. Lucky Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I'm 30 and she's 19. That's quite a spread, not just in years but also in maturity and life experience. Would you want to hang with a 19-year old? Mr. Lucky
Author v3o3d3 Posted October 10, 2016 Author Posted October 10, 2016 That's quite a spread, not just in years but also in maturity and life experience. Would you want to hang with a 19-year old? Mr. Lucky True but im not after anything particularly serious. So how would you suggest i get over this crush then?
Osmium13 Posted October 10, 2016 Posted October 10, 2016 Honestly I think that's too much of a gap. She's likely to be emotionally immature (though I appreciate there are exceptions) and I reckon you'll be playing with fire. I had a short relationship with a 22-year-old when I was 28 and even with that gap it was apparent that we were at different stages of life. Though if you're looking for another job, you're both single and not after a serious relationship - what have you got to lose by telling her about your feelings? Worst case scenario is that it's a bit awkward until one of you leaves. Actually no... Worst case scenario she tells her boyfriend or dad, who wait outside with a group of mates - and batter you to death one night when you're leaving. I just didn't want to put a downer on it for you
Author v3o3d3 Posted October 10, 2016 Author Posted October 10, 2016 Honestly I think that's too much of a gap. She's likely to be emotionally immature (though I appreciate there are exceptions) and I reckon you'll be playing with fire. I had a short relationship with a 22-year-old when I was 28 and even with that gap it was apparent that we were at different stages of life. Though if you're looking for another job, you're both single and not after a serious relationship - what have you got to lose by telling her about your feelings? Worst case scenario is that it's a bit awkward until one of you leaves. Actually no... Worst case scenario she tells her boyfriend or dad, who wait outside with a group of mates - and batter you to death one night when you're leaving. I just didn't want to put a downer on it for you Thankyou for the reply, but i would like to know how to move on from the crush. What actions should i take?. Because i work in a small shop, limiting contact with her is going to be difficult.
Miss Peach Posted October 10, 2016 Posted October 10, 2016 My guess it's just she likes the attention. I know I'm that way. When I worked in retail around her age, I loved to flirt with every guy in the store. Very rarely would I back that up with action though. My advice is just to enjoy it for what it is and get your FB/FWB somewhere else. How much time do you think you would need? Could you take a vacation to do a sort of no contact? A few weeks and some fun might be enough to get her off your mind...
Author v3o3d3 Posted October 10, 2016 Author Posted October 10, 2016 My guess it's just she likes the attention. I know I'm that way. When I worked in retail around her age, I loved to flirt with every guy in the store. Very rarely would I back that up with action though. My advice is just to enjoy it for what it is and get your FB/FWB somewhere else. How much time do you think you would need? Could you take a vacation to do a sort of no contact? A few weeks and some fun might be enough to get her off your mind... She does come across as a playful type of person, so yes she probably just likes to be fun. And ive fallen for it. Im not sure, ill try and see if i can have some time off but i may not be able to. If it gets to much i may just leave my job.
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