NuevoYorko Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 Everyone missed the mark on this one. Younger girls your age don't find you attractive. That's why they don't flirt with you. Maybe, but in general, young women don't go around handing out compliments to young men they don't know. It's not a "cultural norm." If you were an attractive guy the older women wouldn't flirt with you because they would know you are out of their league so it would be creepy. Ha, this kind of made me laugh. Outgoing older women generally feel free to say whatever they want to anybody. The cultural norm of youth, when they would feel awkward or outright aggressive to compliment a strange guy, is gone. I'm sure they aren't thinking about leagues. They'll compliment if they feel like it. Compliments aren't creepy, unless she's talking about your butt or something. 2
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 (edited) Everyone missed the mark on this one. Younger girls your age don't find you attractive. That's why they don't flirt with you. If you were an attractive guy the older women wouldn't flirt with you because they would know you are out of their league so it would be creepy. The older women are flirting with you because they know they aren't attractive like younger girls and since you aren't attractive either, they feel you are in their league and you won't be creeped out by them because they are the best you can do. I have been in this same situation. As an older woman who has and will compliment a hot younger man, or any aged man for that matter...I can say you are totally wrong. I compliment because I feel like it regardless of how he will interpret it from his end. If it makes him feel good, great. If he feels I am flirting well maybe I am maybe I am not. Do I only compliment men who I think are out of another woman's league? Not a chance! I call it as I see it. Hot is hot at any age and have a "no holds barred" attitude about saying something nice to someone who deserves it. What I don't do is blow smoke up someone's butt to make me look good. I would rather say nothing at all than lie and say phoney baloney sht. Edited October 4, 2016 by Sunkissedpatio 4
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 To be brutally honest, most older men look hotter to me than young guys. So for me it isn't about youth at all, it is about someone actually looking good in the moment the compliment is expressed. The fact you younger men can't appreciate a compliment from an older woman and have to find some gross connotation to something totally innocuous because you are starved of attention from younger women, is not our problem, it is yours. A compliment is not a pass, nor is it inappropriate in the spirit of sincere appreciation for how someone dresses or does their hair or grows a beard whatever. Some posts here make us sound like lechers. 2
gaius Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 They're not hitting on you, they're mothering you. They sense weakness so they're trying to build you up in a sense. It's not flattering whatsoever. If they were actually attracted to you they'd handle it differently. But they're not. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 I agree with some of the others....Sounds like patronizing... TFY 1
stillafool Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 OP, the next time an older woman compliments you, say thank you and ask her if she has a daughter who might be interested. You'd be surprised, she may say yes or she has a niece she would like you to meet. Just ask, you never know.
Author NJ123 Posted October 4, 2016 Author Posted October 4, 2016 They're not hitting on you, they're mothering you. They sense weakness so they're trying to build you up in a sense. It's not flattering whatsoever. If they were actually attracted to you they'd handle it differently. But they're not. I don't get how they're mothering me. I just meet these women & sometimes before we hardly talk to each other they just say I'm cute or something else. The one woman in her 40s who was playfully flirting with me a lot I was barely even saying anything to her. It was her friend or whomever it was that I was with that I was interacting with mainly. I know they're not hitting on me to want to go out with me or anything most likely but I assume they at least find me attractive. I remember the one woman who called me cute, I saw her again weeks later from a distance than she just started looking in my direction & then turned to do whatever she was doing. I'd like to think they simply just find me attractive but due to the age difference they know nothing will happen.
Author NJ123 Posted October 4, 2016 Author Posted October 4, 2016 NJ, do you spend time with women your own age? If not, you're not going to get much interaction from women your own age. Want compliments? Interact with women of your age! You also need to give people something to compliment about. A positive attitude is attractive. Good luck. I don't in terms of hanging out with them or anything. But I have to interact with women around my age too. But they never flat out give me compliments or anything. Sometimes I get a vibe from some women that they find me attractive in terms of the way they look at me where I get a sense they like the way I look. One woman just started laughing at a comment I made about something where I wasn't even making a joke or anything. But I could never tell when someone would be interested due to even being playfully touched & that turned out to be nothing. It's like I never know at this point unless a woman just flat out says she likes me.
elaine567 Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 OP, the next time an older woman compliments you, say thank you and ask her if she has a daughter who might be interested. You'd be surprised, she may say yes or she has a niece she would like you to meet. Just ask, you never know. He works in retail so I guess he should not offend customers/work colleagues by suggesting they have a daughter his age. Some women look like they may be 40-50 but are actually only in their 30s, he could get into hot water there.. I agree with Gaius, they are mothering him or are engaging in "safe" flirting/giving compliments to younger guys they are not interested in, but are doing it merely for a laugh (at him/with him) or to try and build up his confidence.
NuevoYorko Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 Also some people are just "flirty," they behave like this with all kinds of people. A young woman in your age range who is this type might not do it with you because she wouldn't want you to get the idea that she's interested. The older ladies probably are not worried about this at all. Enjoy all compliments you are lucky enough to receive!
Author NJ123 Posted October 4, 2016 Author Posted October 4, 2016 Also some people are just "flirty," they behave like this with all kinds of people. A young woman in your age range who is this type might not do it with you because she wouldn't want you to get the idea that she's interested. The older ladies probably are not worried about this at all. Enjoy all compliments you are lucky enough to receive! True, I just wish women around my age would do it as well. I rarely ever get compliments in real life from women around my age. I have through online dating but I don't count that.
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