NJ123 Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 It seems it's usually only women in their 40s/50s & older that give me compliments or even playfully flirt with me. I'm just confused on why no one around my age ever flat out say anything to me in terms of complimenting me or anything. I just don't know what to think about it.
Shanex Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 We will need some context to help out, pal. People tend to be greedy on compliments so it's always good to hear. Possibly they are trying to hit you on... Can you elaborate the circumstances ? these are strangers women to you?
Author NJ123 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Posted October 1, 2016 (edited) Ah, we will need some context to help out, pal. People tend to be greedy on compliments so it's always good to hear. Possibly they are trying to hit you on... Can you elaborate the circumstances ? these are strangers women to you? It's mainly at my job when it happens. And yeah, they're strangers & not anyone I know. I highly doubt they're trying to make me ask them out. There was one woman though who was highly flirting with me while she was with her friend. She was probably around her late 40s. I just think she was doing it in a playful way though where it wasn't meant as anything more than that. Also, even one of my older co-workers in her mid-late 40s most likely was complimenting me on my voice saying I have a very manly voice. But she flat out said "don't worry I'm not flirting with you". Edited October 1, 2016 by NJ123
Shanex Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 (edited) Point taken. However, considering her compliments are sincere, and telling about your manly voice sounds very flirty to me. And why 'don't worry, not flirting'? She is assuming you won't be interested maybe because she's older... and coworker Edited October 1, 2016 by Shanex
Author NJ123 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Posted October 1, 2016 Point taken. However, considering her compliments are sincere, and telling about your manly voice sounds very flirty to me. And why 'don't worry, not flirting'? She is assuming you won't be interested maybe because she's older... Maybe, I find her pretty attractive but she has a kid/kids & I'm not sure if she's even married or not. But I notice she always looks at me & smiles or waves at me when she sees me all the time. I think at the very least she finds me attractive but nothing more than that. You think her saying "don't worry I'm not flirting" means she really was? I don't think that's the case though to be honest. I just feel she maybe finds me attractive but nothing more than that simply.
Shanex Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Maybe, I find her pretty attractive but she has a kid/kids & I'm not sure if she's even married or not. But I notice she always looks at me & smiles or waves at me when she sees me all the time. I think at the very least she finds me attractive but nothing more than that. You think her saying "don't worry I'm not flirting" means she really was? I don't think that's the case though to be honest. I just feel she maybe finds me attractive but nothing more than that simply. I honestly don't know. But a woman telling a younger dude about his manliness be that your voice, your beard or anything come across as flirting. Careful if she's married or committed to some other dudes. Also, a personal observation is that older women are way more confident and less awkward and shy than 20s girls. So yes she might be just friendly and giving compliments, no more.
xxoo Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Are you a shy guy? She may want to boost your confidence, and see you succeed in dating. 8
Author NJ123 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Posted October 1, 2016 Are you a shy guy? She may want to boost your confidence, and see you succeed in dating. Well, she did ask one time if I'm always as quiet as I appear. And than messed around with me saying but I bet you're probably outgoing when at home. So who really knows. I just want to know in general why it's only older women that flirt/compliment me though. Shane said it's due to them being more confident I suppose but who knows. I can't complain really but it would be nice if I got compliments from women around my own age too. 1
SoulCat Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 From your previous threads, you are a guy in his 30's, with a mediocre job, living with your folks and rather unwilling to step out of that little comfort zone you've created. On top of that you have an chip on your shoulder about your height, some facial medial issue and an ingrained bitterness towards the entire female gender. So, there's not really a heck of a lot for any women - of any age - to compliment you about. Usually when older women do say something nice, it's to try to lift you up, to boost your confidence. They can see how you're lagging behind your peers. The fact that the lady commenting on your 'manly' voice specifically said she wasn't flirting speaks volumes. She wasn't flirting. She was just trying to be nice. You've been given so much good advice by so many great posters here, but you just choose not to listen. Creating yet another thread to lament your woes isn't going to change a thing unless you choose to make some changes. 5
Author NJ123 Posted October 1, 2016 Author Posted October 1, 2016 (edited) From your previous threads, you are a guy in his 30's, with a mediocre job, living with your folks and rather unwilling to step out of that little comfort zone you've created. On top of that you have an chip on your shoulder about your height, some facial medial issue and an ingrained bitterness towards the entire female gender. So, there's not really a heck of a lot for any women - of any age - to compliment you about. Usually when older women do say something nice, it's to try to lift you up, to boost your confidence. They can see how you're lagging behind your peers. The fact that the lady commenting on your 'manly' voice specifically said she wasn't flirting speaks volumes. She wasn't flirting. She was just trying to be nice. You've been given so much good advice by so many great posters here, but you just choose not to listen. Creating yet another thread to lament your woes isn't going to change a thing unless you choose to make some changes. Well you obviously didn't read any other posts in this thread except to talk trash about me. If you would have read the other posts it's strangers that I never interacted with before with the exception of my one co-worker. I also don't hate women. You just have your own agenda to come post in here. Please leave my thread. Edited October 1, 2016 by NJ123
SoulCat Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 I never said you hated women. You just have a tendency to blame the female gender for your troubles, and you come across as bitter as a result. As far as trash talking goes? Uhm, no. All I've posted is stuff you've told us in your previous threads. I told a guy at work yesterday that I thought he smelled nice. I wasn't flirting, it was just a comment. Cause he smelled nice. I have no agenda. 3
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Because some of us, older women, are comfortable enough with ourselves we can expresses ourselves without reservation. We say what we feel, when and if we feel like it and don't second guess if it makes us look x, y and z. If I feel someone looks good, dresses well, is really good at something or is impressing me in some way I will tell them - male, female, stranger, whatever. I don't stop to think about how they will judge me for saying what I said. Or if they will see it as flirting. If I am flirting they will know, if I wasn't flirting they will know. When I was younger I may have been more reserved because I cared too much about what others thought of me. 3
xxoo Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Well, she did ask one time if I'm always as quiet as I appear. And than messed around with me saying but I bet you're probably outgoing when at home. So who really knows. I just want to know in general why it's only older women that flirt/compliment me though. Shane said it's due to them being more confident I suppose but who knows. I can't complain really but it would be nice if I got compliments from women around my own age too. I really think she would like to see you blossom. Not for her, but for you. She's taking you under her wing, so to speak. 1
sooshi Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 NJ, do you spend time with women your own age? If not, you're not going to get much interaction from women your own age. Want compliments? Interact with women of your age! You also need to give people something to compliment about. A positive attitude is attractive. Good luck.
losangelena Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 It seems it's usually only women in their 40s/50s & older that give me compliments or even playfully flirt with me. I'm just confused on why no one around my age ever flat out say anything to me in terms of complimenting me or anything. I just don't know what to think about it. Young women aren't really outright with the compliments, especially with men they actually fancy. I know I am quicker to be flirty with married men and gay men and men with whom I know nothing will happen. There's less of a potential for awkwardness or mixed messages. I wouldn't think too much about it at all if I were you.
Marc878 Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 I think you should just walk up and stick your tongue in her ear. Nothing like being direct. 1
preraph Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 They feel freer to say nice things because the age gap makes them assume you won't take it as flirting, so it's safe. But it's good someone thinks you're cute like that because if they do, some younger ones must too. Ask those old bags if they have a daughter or niece. 3
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Ask those old bags if they have a daughter or niece. OMG you kill me! :lmao::lmao: That was perfect. 1
basil67 Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 I recently told a friend's husband "This is not me flirting....but your recent weight loss (of which he was very proud) make your eyes really stand out". It was just a compliment and the comment about the not flirting was to make sure that he knew there was no agenda. Women compliment each other all the time. Older women just spread the love a bit further because they feel comfortable building up men too. 5
JustGettingBy Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 They either: a) Want to build you up (reasons for which are discussed earlier in the thread by various members) or b) Want to 'feel young' again. I'm not saying they're cougars or have interest in you, but if they see you being receptive, it may boost their confidence. Women place value on their youth, and these women are likely at an age where they feel they're 'losing it', and want you react positively Either way, a polite smile is a good happy medium between ignoring their advances and being overbearing. 1
preraph Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 And I suppose it's just possible they haven't been able to exercise their considerable flirting skills in some years, too, and might enjoy trotting her out once in awhile in a safe environment. Of course, that can get creepy just like it does when men do it. 1
Els Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 I agree with xxoo - I think it's likely a motherly instinct thing, they want to try to draw you out of your shell. Even if they've only just met you, there are some things that you can tell about a person quite quickly. A woman close to your age wouldn't feel the same desire to mother you. 3
Frank13 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 Everyone missed the mark on this one. Younger girls your age don't find you attractive. That's why they don't flirt with you. If you were an attractive guy the older women wouldn't flirt with you because they would know you are out of their league so it would be creepy. The older women are flirting with you because they know they aren't attractive like younger girls and since you aren't attractive either, they feel you are in their league and you won't be creeped out by them because they are the best you can do. I have been in this same situation.
preraph Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 Frank, maybe some, but I've never known any women who lowered their standards just because they got older looking. But it IS true that youth just looks better to older people. They might find more young people attractive than when they were young just because youth is attractive in itself to some extent.
Osmium13 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I've noticed similar at work. I think it's a bit of a safety thing on their part... and that I see no harm in playing along - because I don't think that it could be interpreted as serious. I don't feel comfortable flirting with anyone at work that I would actually fancy. It can go wrong though - one lady who must be nearing 60 seemed to take too much of a liking to me! I had to pour buckets of cold water on that one quick!
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