cowardman Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Hey, this is something that I do feel quite awkward talking about, so any help anyone can give me would really be useful. I've been going out with a girl a few times now, seen her maybe 3-4 times over the past couple of weeks and I really like her and her friends say she seems to like me. The problem is I can't work out how to move it forward from "I've been out with her a few times" to "she's my girlfriend" if you see what I mean? I want to sort of "make it official" because at the moment I'm pretty confused as to what's actually going on between us. I mean, it's weird, it's always me making the effort to see if she wants to do anything and that, but it's not like she's distant when we do go out. I think I need to ask her what she thinks, but really wouldn't know what to say and how to phrase it. Anyone got any ideas? Thanks very much!
Merin Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Tell her how much you like being with her and that you don't want to see/date other people.. go from there and see how she feels about that. Good Luck
Author cowardman Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Yeah, that's what I want to say, but it seems to me that saying something like that would be a complete turn off and just seem kind of desperate, it doesn't help that I'm not exactly the most experienced guy when it comes to dating I know it's pretty lame to ask, but could anyone suggest a phrasing that I could work off for telling her? I'll definately need to practise at home, so any sort of wording anyone could give really would be extrememly helpful. Thanks
lindya Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 I'd say carry on as you are for a couple more weeks, then find a reason to casually refer to her as "my girlfriend". All going according to plan, soon after that you should start hearing her refer to you as "my boyfriend".
Author cowardman Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Yeah, I would, but the thing is, my friend (who is close friends with her) tells me that there's some other guy she likes (this was a couple of months ago, and again about 2 weeks ago), not sure how much she likes him or whether she's been out with him lately, but I wouldn't want to introduce her as my girlfriend or anything and then scare her off to this other guy. I really her and don't want to ruin this by trying to rush it, but I'm definately ready to move it on. ARGH, *so* confused!
sammi_jay Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 women always wait for the guy to call her his girlfriend, it took my boyf(now x) about 3months and yet we saw eachother all the time. Maybe you should just ask her out straight if she is seein someone else but let her know your asking because you really like and would like to keep seein her but dont want to push her is she is interested in someone esle aswell at the moment. Women like guys to be open and honest. (make sure she knows you heard from friends about the other guy she likes and that your not accusing her of anythin)
Author cowardman Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Yeah, thanks, that's good advice. Although she already knows that I know about this guy, since my friend told me when I was pretty drunk and in my infinite wisdom, I texted her saying something like "Oi, who's this guy? What's going on between you?" or words to that effect (it did read kind of accusingly, although it wasn't really meant that way), and she said that there was nothing going on, but from what my friend was saying the other week, she still likes him. I just don't really want to bring it up again for fear of seeming over-eager.
sammi_jay Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 if you explain to her your only asking because you really like her and dont want to get hurt yourself then i'm sure she'll be fine about you bringing it up. Just because she likes this other guy doesnt mean she doesnt like you as much. Its you she is dating not him and the more you see her the more she will get to know you and most likely forget about the other guy. As for it being you that asks her out all the time, when i was with my recent x boyf, i let him do the chasing, i wanted to know and feel he was actually genuinly serious about wanting to be with me.
Author cowardman Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Yeah, thanks. That's good to know actually, I'll guess I'll try and bring it up next time I see her. Thanks very much guys/gals!
utwonderwoman Posted July 11, 2005 Posted July 11, 2005 cowardman, I had been dating this guy for about a month and I decided to introduce I thought this would be too much, but she dances to her own drum and did it anyway. I leaned over to him and apologized for the boyfriend comment and he just smiled and said that he really liked the sound of it. Perhaps a little setup would be in order just to test the waters.
utwonderwoman Posted July 11, 2005 Posted July 11, 2005 cowardman, ooops! i just noticed that part of my post was cut off. She was going to say "that it was nice to finally meet my boyfriend" right to him even though she knew that neither of us had said anything like that yet.
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