Jeannie Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 To all of you who are suffering from heartbreak - trust me, in time you do get over it. I was in a toxic relationship for two years. We both knew it wouldn't work but we kept trying and holding on hoping we'd somehow make it. I gave my ex way too many chances - he was the most selfish and self absorbed person I've ever met. I'd leave him then I'd take him back time and time again....he kept telling me he'd change and he loved me and I was "the one"............ then for no reason he decides "it's over" (because I won't marry him and move in his house). The previous times I was the one who dumped him because I didn't want to rush into marriage and living together (we've both got teen boys and they never got along). I'd leave and he'd beg and plead for us to work it out and for me to take him back. Now the one time he wants to end it I just said "Ok". I refused to humilate myself and beg and plead. I asked him "Is this what you want?" and he said "yes" - so end of story. I think he only wanted me back so he could one day be the one to end it and have his ego in tact. When he decided that it just wasn't going to work out (funny when I said the same thing he'd beg and cry and make me take him back). I was shocked and upset but I could never beg and plead - I had no desire to - I figured it needed to be over and I just agreed with him. So I've let him go and it's been pretty easy - I don't want him back. The key is when it's over - you just got to accept it and tell yourself "This is it - it's over - bury the dead - time to move on". I've stayed extremely busy and have kept telling myself "Stop thinking about him and the past - it's over!". I have been more angry than upset - I feel I wasted all that time taking him back and I'm a fool to have believed a single word he said. He just couldn't take rejection so he'd put on a show so I'd take him back - stupid me, I did. Then he dumped me. He had to be the one to end it and have the final say. So I let him - he can claim he was the one who ended it - I don't care - whatever dude. All I know is you simply must accept a relationship as being over and done with to be able to move on. Now I'm asking myself "What on earth did I see in him to begin with - YUK!". I'm recovering quickly that's for sure! Time works wonders - and keeping busy.
Author Jeannie Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 Thanks Merin - best advice is always to put your children (peeps as you call them) first and do what's best for them.
smile95 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 I was in a toxic relationship for two years. We both knew it wouldn't work but we kept trying and holding on hoping we'd somehow make it. I gave my ex way too many chances - he was the most selfish and self absorbed person I've ever met. I'd leave him then I'd take him back time and time again....he kept telling me he'd change and he loved me and I was "the one"............ THis was me! Great job! I hope I can follow in your footsteps! Are you doing NC? What did you tell yourself to get to this point aside from it is the past? How do you stop thinking of memories?
GL 44 Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by Jeannie To all of you who are suffering from heartbreak - trust me, in time you do get over it. I was in a toxic relationship for two years. We both knew it wouldn't work but we kept trying and holding on hoping we'd somehow make it. I gave my ex way too many chances - he was the most selfish and self absorbed person I've ever met. I'd leave him then I'd take him back time and time again....he kept telling me he'd change and he loved me and I was "the one"............ then for no reason he decides "it's over" (because I won't marry him and move in his house). The previous times I was the one who dumped him because I didn't want to rush into marriage and living together (we've both got teen boys and they never got along). I'd leave and he'd beg and plead for us to work it out and for me to take him back. Now the one time he wants to end it I just said "Ok". I refused to humilate myself and beg and plead. I asked him "Is this what you want?" and he said "yes" - so end of story. I think he only wanted me back so he could one day be the one to end it and have his ego in tact. When he decided that it just wasn't going to work out (funny when I said the same thing he'd beg and cry and make me take him back). I was shocked and upset but I could never beg and plead - I had no desire to - I figured it needed to be over and I just agreed with him. So I've let him go and it's been pretty easy - I don't want him back. The key is when it's over - you just got to accept it and tell yourself "This is it - it's over - bury the dead - time to move on". I've stayed extremely busy and have kept telling myself "Stop thinking about him and the past - it's over!". I have been more angry than upset - I feel I wasted all that time taking him back and I'm a fool to have believed a single word he said. He just couldn't take rejection so he'd put on a show so I'd take him back - stupid me, I did. Then he dumped me. He had to be the one to end it and have the final say. So I let him - he can claim he was the one who ended it - I don't care - whatever dude. All I know is you simply must accept a relationship as being over and done with to be able to move on. Now I'm asking myself "What on earth did I see in him to begin with - YUK!". I'm recovering quickly that's for sure! Time works wonders - and keeping busy. Your story is mine. Totally. Knew in my heart wasn't ever going to work but had blind faith it would. I dumped her many times. I took her back a few weeks ago only to have her finally dump me. Guess it was planned by her to do this. She couldn't take the rejection and had to get hers in at the end. No problem. Like you are saying, when it's over it's over. What do the power plays and manipulations and ego trips matter? My only regret now is financial. Won't be getting an engagement ring back. 7K worth. And yeah, I asked for it to be returned. Not happnin.
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