sensitivegirl0 Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Hello everyone.. So after 1 and half year of no contact, my ex (or more like my fwb) contacted me two months ago. We were together for a year. When I realised we were just fwb, i told him about my feelings. He was the first person that I loved so deeply and I told him this. But he told me that he only saw me as a friend. This is the reason why we stopped talking. So when he contacted me two months ago, I wasnt sure what his intentions were. In hour first date, he told me about his business and asked me to join his team, saying that we could accomplish great things together. After this day, we met three more times. He came to my house we slept in the same bed cuddling, he didn't try anything more because I told him that I don't want to be fwb or just **** buddies again. I was so happy that he actually respected me. And I started to think that he wants something with me. However when we met the third time, he mentioned a girl that he likes and he was planing to meet up. I got so upset. He also asked me if I have someone in my life. I couldnt speak, he could see that I was upset. That night I understood that he is giving me mixed signals again like he used to. I decided to talk to him after few days. I told him that what he did was not nice and it really hurt me. I said he came to see me, sleep in my bed, cuddle me, give me hopes but mention this girl that he was planing to meet up. I also told him everything I felt after we broke up. I told him that: I couldnt be with anyone after him, although my life was amazing and that I travelled a lot, enjoyed my life, there were days I missed him a lot. I also told him that I waited for him to come back for so long. And when I stopped waiting and decided to move on and date a new amazing guy he came back. so I asked him what does he want from me? He said that: - he is not interested in that girl anymore and that he is sorry to bring it up that day. - He didnt want to give me false hopes when he came to stay with me and cuddle me etc. He did it without thinking about future and he did it because he feels comfortable with me and it felt nice. (!) - He wants me to be in his life, somewhere, all the way. - He has feelings for me. He thinks that we have a connection and that he feels the attraction. - I tick a lot of boxes. - But he doesn't see us together in the big picture, so if we start becoming close, he will stop it. - (I am Turkish Cypriot and he is Greek Cypriot, we are kind of from enemy communities) So he told me that his mothers side is ok if he was with a Turkish Cypriot girl but his dads side will not be ok. and he didn't want to tell me this because he thought i would stop talking to him. - He knows that he will end up with a wrong person. - He said that i am an old fashioned girl who loves deeply and men will love this. - He said that if any guy hurts me he will be there and beat his a.. - He said that he wants me to move on and be happy. He was so emotional and hold his tears. So after this conversation I said I understand him. I felt free because I know what he wanted and I could finally move on. But i did a mistake right after this conversation. He invited me to Berlin to a business trip with him and his teammates and told me that he will pay my ticket so that I could go with him. He paid 200 euros just so I could go. Instead of deciding what I want to do now with him, I decided to go to with him. It was a wrong decision. I got so hurt because he was so cold with me after our first day. We had small arguments. And all started with a guy hitting on me and him getting jealous. Although he admitted that he was jealous, he told me that this wasn’t the reason why he was distant with me. What?! So now, I am 100% he has strong feelings. But he denies his feelings. This kills me. Even his friends told me that he likes me but denies it. He called me treasure when we were there. We also talked about other things. He told me that he has a lot of problems in his house. His father is in depression he sister just broke up with gf, he has confidence issues, and other issues that he can’t tell me. He nearly cried again. We came back few days ago, he told me that he appreciates that I went Berlin with him and all the arguments we had actually made us closer. But I am tried, I love him. I want to be with him. But it seems that I can’t get through him. So now, I have to make a decision: He asked me if I will join the business. I have two options: 1. I will join the business. 2. I will cut him off. If join I will get hurt, seeing him with other girls.. He will get jealous when a guy likes me and treat me bad like he did in Berlin. I will keep asking myself, why can’t we be together?? And eventually I will never be able to move on. If I cut him off, I will miss him.. What should I do? Stay or leave? If I stay you think he will stop denying his feelings an be with me?... So confused....
Zahara Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Cut him off. He's already told you time and time again that there is no future. Don't project what you think he feels -- take whatever he's doing and saying at face value. He sounds like the kind that will tell you what you want to hear just to keep you around for their benefit.
Gaeta Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Cut him off, he is synonym of years of pain to you. He sees no future with you believe him. The fact he was jealous means nothing!! It's actually very common to feel jealousy toward someone you don't want to be with. I have experience that myself. It's just an ego bruise. 2
BaileyB Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 You deserve someone who wants to be with you and treats you with respect. This guy does not do that with his mixed messages. You will be much happier if you find someone else. Let him go. 1
Miss Spider Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Please cut him off. I know it is hard, but it's only prolonging suffering not to. You deserve better.
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