Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 How long have you worked together? IMO, take third parties out of the equation. Has she dated anyone since you've been working together? No, she has been single during this whole time.
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 The shy girl and her friend work at the same store, but I work at a different store in the same mall.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Isn't it better to give up on this very shy girl? Better for who??
Sunkissedpatio Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Context it everything Thanks for explaining. Don't give up just yet. All she said was that her time is limited because she has a second job. My feeling is that she is feeling embarrassed that her coworker encouraged you to ask her out and at her age she might feel like "he only asked me out because my coworker put him up to it" Yes I know, sounds crazy but girls can get really insecure at times, especially if they are shy. So, make a move again, tell her playfully "c'mon you must have some day that you can meet me for coffee?" (make a joke about how you know she turned you down because she doesn't drink coffee, and that you can go for hot chocolate instead) If she shoots you down again then it was just the friend meddling. Good luck 1
basil67 Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Have you ever conversed with her? What has she told you about herself and what have you told her about yourself? I hope you're not asking her out without first having built a rapport. 1
Buddhist Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Why would they want me not to tell the girl what I was told if she's truly not interested? If the girl is not interested, she wouldn't even care what her friends say because it would line up with her wishes to be left alone. The fact that her friend said that to me means that she and her friend now have opposing views. Playing matchmaker is something some people spend their time doing. But they may not want to be found out doing it. It happens. In any case you've provided more detail which kind of fleshes out the story more and it makes more sense now.
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Someone can be shy because of a whole host of reasons, but giving up on her because she is shy is a bit of a stupid of excuse for YOU not taking the bull by the horns and asking her out, paying for a date, etc... she may be shy because no one has ever asked her out before. And if that is her ONLY reason for shyness then, you don't have much of an excuse.
LastAcorn99 Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 If you really like this person, what’s the harm in asking her out again? All the best!
Popsicle Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 I asked a very shy girl out and she gave me an indirect rejection. Her friends hinted to me that she is interested. I have continued to talk to the very shy girl and she still seems very nervous. Our conversations continue to be awkward. Her friends used to encourage me, but now say that if no "chemistry" exists, then it is better to drop it now. The friends also said not to say it to the girl or else she will think that her affairs are being interfered with. Even though she still seems interested, I also think it is better to give it up since there is no progress. Yes give up on her.
Popsicle Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Have you ever conversed with her? What has she told you about herself and what have you told her about yourself? I hope you're not asking her out without first having built a rapport. This is a good point. Ask her out now that you've chatted a bit with her. If she still reflects you, then give up on her and right afterwards.
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 If you really like this person, what’s the harm in asking her out again? All the best! My perspective is that if we keep having awkward conversations (even though I understand she is shy), how can I believe that we may have a reasonably good time when we're going out for the first date?
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 Context it everything Thanks for explaining. Don't give up just yet. All she said was that her time is limited because she has a second job. My feeling is that she is feeling embarrassed that her coworker encouraged you to ask her out and at her age she might feel like "he only asked me out because my coworker put him up to it" Yes I know, sounds crazy but girls can get really insecure at times, especially if they are shy. So, make a move again, tell her playfully "c'mon you must have some day that you can meet me for coffee?" (make a joke about how you know she turned you down because she doesn't drink coffee, and that you can go for hot chocolate instead) If she shoots you down again then it was just the friend meddling. Good luck The co-worker once gave up hope for anything to happen. I then overcame my shyness to ask the shy girl out by surprise. I surprised all of them as none of them saw it coming.
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 Playing matchmaker is something some people spend their time doing. But they may not want to be found out doing it. It happens. In any case you've provided more detail which kind of fleshes out the story more and it makes more sense now. So what is your perspective on this whole situation now?
Buddhist Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 My perspective is the whole thing is a dogs breakfast really. You've got 3rd parties giving you one lot of information then putting you off etc. She's giving you a lame excuse for an answer and you're giving up at the first whiff of a rejection. The only way to know for sure is ask one more time, if she says no, drop it and forget about her.
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 (edited) My perspective is the whole thing is a dogs breakfast really. You've got 3rd parties giving you one lot of information then putting you off etc. She's giving you a lame excuse for an answer and you're giving up at the first whiff of a rejection. The only way to know for sure is ask one more time, if she says no, drop it and forget about her. If we're having awkward conversations, how do you think that we can have a reasonably good time when going out on a date? Shouldn't I just drop it then? Edited September 30, 2016 by abramov
mikeylo Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Shy girls are Work !! Not everyone has patience or skill to get them. Sometimes the more interested they are , more opposite signs you will get. It's annoying and frustrating. But if you notice carefully,you will see extremely subtle signs of interest. You don't treat a shy one same as the outgoing one. Don't go by what people are saying. Go by your own picker 1
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 Shy girls are Work !! Not everyone has patience or skill to get them. Sometimes the more interested they are , more opposite signs you will get. It's annoying and frustrating. But if you notice carefully,you will see extremely subtle signs of interest. You don't treat a shy one same as the outgoing one. Don't go by what people are saying. Go by your own picker So in this situation, you are hopeful? What is your take?
mikeylo Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Build it up slowly. Quite slowly. Extremely slowly. Lol. If you can. The more you push , the more she will resist.Let her set the pace. Then give a nudge here and there. Comfort increases on her side. Then you ask her out. Maybe in anothe month or two you will have your first date 1
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 Build it up slowly. Quite slowly. Extremely slowly. Lol. If you can. The more you push , the more she will resist.Let her set the pace. Then give a nudge here and there. Comfort increases on her side. Then you ask her out. Maybe in anothe month or two you will have your first date Just curious, why do you think her friend is thinking that if after 6 weeks, there's still not much progress, then this whole matter should be dropped?
Author abramov Posted October 2, 2016 Author Posted October 2, 2016 (edited) A shy girl's friend used to tell a guy to keep trying. The guy has talked to the shy girl for about 6 weeks now, but they just don't seem to click and the conversations are still awkward. Now the shy girl's friend tells a guy that sometimes it's better to stop pursuing her if you're getting nothing out of it so that you won't be in pain. She then says that if you're not in pain, then you can keep trying. The shy girl's friend said just let things happen naturally and said to the guy that she is afraid to tell the shy girl about her thoughts because she doesn't want misunderstanding with her shy friend. Does that mean that the shy girl is not interested anymore? Edited October 2, 2016 by abramov
smackie9 Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 Couldn't tell ya, but I will say not to bother with shy girl and find a different girl that isn't such a pain in the butt. You shouldn't have to work that hard to get someone's attention. 4
smudge21 Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 Shy is one thing. Playing games with anothers emotions is totally different. Work out which one this is and then decide if you want to continue chasing someone who clearly doesn't want to be caught. Whilst one is focusing on something that is wrong, they're missing out on so much that is right.
smudge21 Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 So I am being played? Maybe. I have no way of knowing for sure. It's like what Smackie says though, that getting to know people, friends or lovers, shouldn't be this difficult. Two people should want to become friends and more. They should both want the same thing. If one is shy or distant, then you have to wonder why and if it's worth the hassle. Relationships should start on a good strong foundation, where the people involved clearly want each other. The problems can come later, but if the foundation is strong, then it can last through the bad times. A weak start and you'll have a weak relationship. So maybe you are being played, but maybe not. The fact is, this isn't a good start for something serious.
Author abramov Posted October 2, 2016 Author Posted October 2, 2016 The shy girl has asked about my background through her manager etc. Why doesn't she ask herself?
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