abramov Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 She told me she doesn't like her current job. 2 days later, she said she's OK with the job. However, here's what I have observed: -She tries to find out more about me through her friend. -She always maintains eye contact and never looks away when I talk to her. -She has given warm smiles to me from time to time. -She never pulls away when I get close and talk to her. -She returns eye contact when I make eye contact with her.
Author abramov Posted September 27, 2016 Author Posted September 27, 2016 What does it mean if your love interest is interested but the interest is not "solid"? Is there such a thing?
Smoothman Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 What does it mean if your love interest is interested but the interest is not "solid"? Is there such a thing? It might help if you elaborate a little.
Author abramov Posted September 27, 2016 Author Posted September 27, 2016 It might help if you elaborate a little. I thought that a girl was either interested or uninterested in the guy.
Author abramov Posted September 27, 2016 Author Posted September 27, 2016 A shy girl knows that this guy often drops by to have a brief chat when she is taking a break during work. She told her friend that she is always thinking "OMG!" whenever the guy is about to come and talk to her. Is this a good sign? Does it mean she is nervous?
basil67 Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 Interest isn't binary. A person can be anywhere between being kind of interested to having lots of interest.
basil67 Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 A shy girl knows that this guy often drops by to have a brief chat when she is taking a break during work. She told her friend that she is always thinking "OMG!" whenever the guy is about to come and talk to her. Is this a good sign? Does it mean she is nervous? I assume we're talking about you and a girl at work. She doesn't sound nervous. The OMG means nothing without body language and the rest of the sentence. It could be "OMG, this guy is so cute and he's coming to talk with me" or "OMG I wish this guy would stop hanging around" or a dozen other things. You have to trust your instincts on this one.
Author abramov Posted September 27, 2016 Author Posted September 27, 2016 I assume we're talking about you and a girl at work. She doesn't sound nervous. The OMG means nothing without body language and the rest of the sentence. It could be "OMG, this guy is so cute and he's coming to talk with me" or "OMG I wish this guy would stop hanging around" or a dozen other things. You have to trust your instincts on this one. It is just a "OMG!" and nothing else. Her friend knows me and told me about her reaction. This shy girl also asked her friend to ask me about my background because this shy girl heard something from one of her co-workers. Does that change your perspective?
Author abramov Posted September 27, 2016 Author Posted September 27, 2016 Interest isn't binary. A person can be anywhere between being kind of interested to having lots of interest. Can a girl have interest that is not solid and at the same time still have a hard time approaching the guy to let him know how she feels after he asks her out? If she is not solidly interested, why would she even have the idea of approaching the guy to reciprocate interest?
PogoStick Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 OMG why don't you just ask her friend what it meant? 1
basil67 Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 (edited) It is just a "OMG!" and nothing else. Her friend knows me and told me about her reaction. This shy girl also asked her friend to ask me about my background because this shy girl heard something from one of her co-workers. Does that change your perspective? No it does not change my perspective. OMG could mean an number of things and I would need to hear the inflection in her voice to understand her comment. As the previous poster suggested, how about asking the friend what she meant? Edited to add: why do you think this girl is shy? Edited September 27, 2016 by basil67 1
Author abramov Posted September 27, 2016 Author Posted September 27, 2016 Her friend said she likes to tease the girl.
Author abramov Posted September 29, 2016 Author Posted September 29, 2016 I asked a very shy girl out and she gave me an indirect rejection. Her friends hinted to me that she is interested. I have continued to talk to the very shy girl and she still seems very nervous. Our conversations continue to be awkward. Her friends used to encourage me, but now say that if no "chemistry" exists, then it is better to drop it now. The friends also said not to say it to the girl or else she will think that her affairs are being interfered with. Even though she still seems interested, I also think it is better to give it up since there is no progress. 1
SwordofFlame Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 I would give up if I were you. I don't have anywhere near the level of social skills and patience to date a woman like that. 2
Buddhist Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 Her friends are interfering and it seems like she may have no interest in you at all. Don't take second hand information from other people for gospel. For all you know her friends might just feel sorry for her for being single and decided to encourage you for their own pity purposes. She may not have expressed interest in you at all. Even shy people eventually relax and open up around people they like. If this isn't happening it's more likely she doesn't like you and is not assertive enough to actually give you a rejection and is instead just hoping you'll give up. 2
Author abramov Posted September 29, 2016 Author Posted September 29, 2016 Her friends are interfering and it seems like she may have no interest in you at all. Don't take second hand information from other people for gospel. For all you know her friends might just feel sorry for her for being single and decided to encourage you for their own pity purposes. She may not have expressed interest in you at all. Even shy people eventually relax and open up around people they like. If this isn't happening it's more likely she doesn't like you and is not assertive enough to actually give you a rejection and is instead just hoping you'll give up. @Buddhist, It has been a total of 6 weeks since I asked her out. So it is not like it has been months and we're both at work so we don't have much time to talk.
Buddhist Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 @Buddhist, It has been a total of 6 weeks since I asked her out. So it is not like it has been months and we're both at work so we don't have much time to talk. So you asked her out once, 6 weeks ago and haven't bothered to talk to her since? I still stand by my comment that you shouldn't trust what 3rd parties say too much. People are known to be interfering for a myriad of reasons of which you are not privy to. The fact these same people are now back-pedalling tells me that they may not have been honest with you and are worried you are going to spill the beans on what they've told you. Maybe you should ask her about that and get the truth from her?
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 So you asked her out once, 6 weeks ago and haven't bothered to talk to her since? I still stand by my comment that you shouldn't trust what 3rd parties say too much. People are known to be interfering for a myriad of reasons of which you are not privy to. The fact these same people are now back-pedalling tells me that they may not have been honest with you and are worried you are going to spill the beans on what they've told you. Maybe you should ask her about that and get the truth from her? Did you read my last comment? I said that I have talked to her since I asked her out, but not much since we're both at work.
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 So you asked her out once, 6 weeks ago and haven't bothered to talk to her since? I still stand by my comment that you shouldn't trust what 3rd parties say too much. People are known to be interfering for a myriad of reasons of which you are not privy to. The fact these same people are now back-pedalling tells me that they may not have been honest with you and are worried you are going to spill the beans on what they've told you. Maybe you should ask her about that and get the truth from her? Why would they want me not to tell the girl what I was told if she's truly not interested? If the girl is not interested, she wouldn't even care what her friends say because it would line up with her wishes to be left alone. The fact that her friend said that to me means that she and her friend now have opposing views.
Shanex Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Being shy is one thing, but I wouldn't like someone trying to set me up with some girl, or the other way around. Maybe you are young, and I understand that it implies shyness and awkwardness but don't let others, whether on her side or yours fix things that you can handle yourself. 1
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 Being shy is one thing, but I wouldn't like someone trying to set me up with some girl, or the other way around. Maybe you are young, and I understand that it implies shyness and awkwardness but don't let others, whether on her side or yours fix things that you can handle yourself. Well I did my best and asked her out. I think the friend just means to let things flow naturally.
carhill Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 How long have you worked together? IMO, take third parties out of the equation. Has she dated anyone since you've been working together?
Shanex Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Well I did my best and asked her out. I think the friend just means to let things flow naturally. Then they are probably right. It's just the 'interference'... If you were bold enough to ask her out, she should make a move too, if interested. I read you both work so you aren't teenagers anyway. Ball is in her court etc etc... 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 What makes her really shy in your view? And how did she reject you? You guys all work together? It sounds to me like the shy girl may have made some comment to her friends about liking you and the friends have taken it upon themselves to "set you two up." She either knows the friends did this, girls play these games - "we'l tell him to ask you out and pretend like you don't know" or she doesn't know and is mortified now and embarrassed that the friends did this. 2
Author abramov Posted September 30, 2016 Author Posted September 30, 2016 What makes her really shy in your view? And how did she reject you? You guys all work together? It sounds to me like the shy girl may have made some comment to her friends about liking you and the friends have taken it upon themselves to "set you two up." She either knows the friends did this, girls play these games - "we'l tell him to ask you out and pretend like you don't know" or she doesn't know and is mortified now and embarrassed that the friends did this. She is really shy because I have seen her staring at me when I am not looking. As soon as I catch her, she looks away immediately. I have said "Hi" to her before and she will say "Hi" back. She is too shy to say "Hi" to me. I said to her "Do you want to go for coffee on one of your days off?" She said "Not sure when because when I am not working here, I work at a daycare." with a really excited tone and dragging the syllables and had a huge smile on her face. I just said "OK, that's fine." and walked away. A week later, her friend comes to tell me to keep trying and talk to her and lets me know her work schedule. Her friend did tease this shy girl for some time about me. We both work at the same mall, but we don't actually work at the same shop. Sorry for the confusion about this.
Recommended Posts