Author Mr R Posted October 2, 2016 Author Posted October 2, 2016 Nothing new really. I did manage to get a hold of her phone long enough the other night to write the numbers down that I previously thought were someone she was texting because her replies were she couldn't talk right now. I did a reverse look up and birth came back to telemarketing companies. Since the day I made the original post she had seemed to be back to her old self. The only thing I've found this week is that she is actually been initiating kisses which for the past few years only happen during intense sex(she had told me years ago that I kids too slobbery, which I had worked on with her then kissing slowly stopped). Our Friday sex session seemed to be back to normal. And to my surprise Thursday night she was open to do spontaneous sex. She didn't drink as much Friday night add she had been, so I don't know.
Poutrew Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 Things don't sound normal to me. One scenario that keeps running through my mind when you describe your wife's behavior is that she had lesbian sex with her GF, and the fact that it she liked it surprised her. She sounds like she is making a conscious choice to get back to normal hetro sex with you because she knows that if she goes any further it means giving up you and the stability you represent for an uncertain future with females. Trouble is, even if she manages to bury her bi side, it can come back out at any time and ruin your future... sorry, but if I am right, you have a tiger by the tail and no telling when it'll turn around and snap your head off...
CarrieT Posted October 2, 2016 Posted October 2, 2016 (edited) So there's no back history with her. I seriously doubt she had any gay lovers before me since she was 16 when we started dating and was barely allowed out of her house without moon sister or cousin. I want to tell you something that you may not know or understand about girls. I'm not saying this is your wife, but it was true for me and many other women... We sexualize MUCH earlier than boys and for many of us, our first exploration involves masturbation with other girls - oftentimes as young as five or six years old. I remember being two or three years old when I was discovered humping a pillow by a sister and I have very vivid memories of "play acting" boyfriend/girlfriend scenarios with my friends which would end up with us in bed, imaging what the sex act was really like. Suffice to say I had more sexual contact with other girls between the ages of nine and sixteen than I had with boys between the ages of 16 and 20. All I'm saying is don't discount the possibility that she had some childhood sexual encounters with other girls. Most of us don't talk about it much and we now frame it in the context of adult sexualization, when it is anything but. However, it *does* exist and is quite prevalent in society. Edited October 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T
Author Mr R Posted October 2, 2016 Author Posted October 2, 2016 This being said I know that by the time I met my wife she admitted she did masturbate on occasion. But having any kind of sexual play as you're referring to seems impossible in her case. We were talking the other night about having friends over to our houses as kids. And she said she never had friends over as a child. And when I met her it was through her cousin who my brother was dating at the time. Her cousin wss trying to help her be more social since she only had one or two friend that she only interacted with at school. I'm sure she probably learned to pleasure herself from her older sister shared a room. But then again I may be a fool for believing what she and her mom have told me since day one.
Just a Guy Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Hi Mr. R, what's the update on your situation? Have your concerns subsided or are reconciled to the fact that your wife is up to some hanky panky? Are you going to just sit back and accept status quo or are you interested in moving forward with this? From all accounts it is apparent your wife has been or is cheating on you. It does'nt take a Sherlock Holmes to deduce that. However if you are okay with her stepping out on you then maybe you are taking the right approach but then why the lengthy first post? Confusing!
Author Mr R Posted October 9, 2016 Author Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) Our situation is back to normal. First I checked all the number that had text her phone or that she had text in the time frame given. I found that all the numbers I didn't recognize where telemarketers. Honesty has always worked for us in the past. So I asked her to tell meet what happened that night she was out of town. I asked her to walk me through the night from dinner on. It wss nothing out of the ordinary. She asked why I was asking and I told her about her behaviour for the following weeks. She said she didn't realize she wss acting diffrent. But then told me about a phone call she got from her mom the day she got home and before I got home from work. I was her mom who be little her for posting she was out with friends having drink and going to a club since she was married and more importantly she was at home dying of cancer. Let me say yes her mom has cancer and shouldn't play into this and by no means is her cancer terminal yet. Her mom is one of those holier that thou people. She didn't talk to me for days because she knew I would go have a conversation with her mom and would end up causing her more grief and cause more tension between us. Her mom has also demanded a lot of attention as she found out that she has cancer. And apparently became jealous of the likes on my wife's Facebook page that night. So in short all the comments in her text were taken out of context and her mom playing poor pitiful me holier than thou was the cause my wife's behaviour. And I think I've just convinced myself other things were gasping that night since I was at home drinking and she was out with friends doing the same. Edited October 15, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T
Cephalopod Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 Unless she submits to a polygraph, you will not know what happened that night, and she will never tell. Yes...her strange behavior is indicative of someone trying to hide something she did. You aren't to blame for not being able to find out. It sounds like you have done your due diligence. However, it would be incumbent on you to get an STD test to make sure she didn't bring a bug home to you. You may want to plant a voice activated recorder (VAR) under her car seat to see if you can catch her talking to someone, maybe buy a GPS to hide in her car to track her whereabouts. Those are a couple things you can do. It is unfortunate that now you will be in Sherlock mode for the next year or so until she messes up again. But next time she goes out of town for work, you may want to hire a P.I. to scope her out at the hotel to see what she gets up to. I think if you subtly gather intelligence, and be vigilant, you will catch her eventually.
Wookin Pa Nub Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 This is why I strongly discourage and/or don't allow W to go out to bars without me. At best, guys are flirting with her and likely putting their hands on her. At worst she gets too drunk and doesn't remember getting her legs up in the air. And somewhere in between I wonder what happed without my supervision.
Author Mr R Posted October 25, 2016 Author Posted October 25, 2016 Hiring a PI is not financially do able for me. I've been keeping close tabs on the email, text and such since my original post. As for not allowing her to go to bars that's not in our routine of places to go never has been I mean we've been a few times together and separate on a very rare occasion. Main reason we don't do the bar thing is were we live it's mostly honky tonk rough places. The night she was out of town they started at a restaurant with some drinks and her old friend found out she was in town and invited her out. I gave her my bleeding to go out with the friend because as we all know that hanging around your hotel room from 7 p.m. Until checkout is madding. I've questioned her several times about that night and she sticks to the same story. I can't help but to believe her. And the call from her mother the next day added to her actions. As I've noticed everyone she talks to her mom anymore she starts down the same road of bottling up her frustration with her in which causes her to become silent because one she doesn't Embry to concern our son with her mom's medical condition and two she feels I become irritated her what her mom is complaining about. I want her to talk about is so she doesn't become stressed with it.
Cephalopod Posted October 25, 2016 Posted October 25, 2016 Then get a VAR and plant it in her car. Find out who she talks to when she is out and about. 2
spanz1 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 (edited) let me put another equally likely spin on her behavior. She has been leading a relatively conservative life up to now (no drinking, no kinky sex), was thrown into this kinky environment (gay bar, had a few drinks) and LOVED it. she let her hair down, and partied. Maybe she even danced with a woman or other man. who knows? but i do not see this as necessarily bad...i see it as an opportunity to up your kinky sex life. Explore what she might want to try next. maybe get her a little drunk, and see what sexy ideas she comes up with....do NOT be disapproving of anything she says, or she will clam up again. Her mentioning that she might want to kiss another girl is just proof of her rich hidden fantasy sex life. She probably has all sorts of repressed sexual fantasies she wants to explore, but is ashamed of them and does not want to let you know. I suggest you have fun with it. see where it leads to. And one byproduct of you being able to talk about these kinky hidden sexual things withher....you will probably get to find out exactly what DID happen that night in the gay bar. She will tell you what happened, and how it turned her on Edited October 31, 2016 by spanz1
Author Mr R Posted October 31, 2016 Author Posted October 31, 2016 let me put another equally likely spin on her behavior. She has been leading a relatively conservative life up to now (no drinking, no kinky sex), was thrown into this kinky environment (gay bar, had a few drinks) and LOVED it. she let her hair down, and partied. Maybe she even danced with a woman or other man. who knows? but i do not see this as necessarily bad...i see it as an opportunity to up your kinky sex life. Explore what she might want to try next. maybe get her a little drunk, and see what sexy ideas she comes up with....do NOT be disapproving of anything she says, or she will clam up again. Her mentioning that she might want to kiss another girl is just proof of her rich hidden fantasy sex life. She probably has all sorts of repressed sexual fantasies she wants to explore, but is ashamed of them and does not want to let you know. I suggest you have fun with it. see where it leads to. And one byproduct of you being able to talk about these kinky hidden sexual things withher....you will probably get to find out exactly what DID happen that night in the gay bar. She will tell you what happened, and how it turned her on I've know about her wanting to kiss another woman for years this she admitted years ago while sober. I told her back then that I was ok with it if she ever wanted to try that but the only stipulation was I had to be there so I could watch and she agreed to that. Now I'm not saying she never drank before or got drunk it was just very rare. When she would drink in the past and catch a buzz she does get a little wilder in bed and that I like it. But I that case she refers me to a time she'd drank too much and got sick when we got busy. My thought was like yours get her to drinking and she'd admit to what happened that night and she might try new stuff in bed that she's been wanting to try. I've told her I wasn't mad if she danced with another girl other than her friend or even a guy. But she insists she only danced with the friend that took her there. I've taken her out to try to let her drink and relax since that night but she will barely get through one drink when she's out with me. And she won't dance for me even at home and her excuse is that she doesn't dance. As far as the kinky sex thing we are not vanilla and we aren't extreme. She has a good collection of toys and we do some light bondage from time to time's I've often asked her wildest fantasies and always get an I don't know. That I don't know how to drag out of her. But I've kept in mind drinks usually bring the truth out.
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