alex434 Posted July 7, 2005 Posted July 7, 2005 hey all i've been talking to my gf lately and we have been having some disturbing problems lately, i just wanted to let you know what they are and help me on what i should do, she says she will change them but we will see. 1. I always have time for her, but seems like she doesnt for me. Whenever im eating, out with my family, playing a game, hanging out with friends, i always talk to her when she texts me, however when i do it, she doesnt she always tells me she'll talk to me later what should i do? 2. Whenever i try to be serious she always makes a joke out of something, last night she just gets into this really depressing voice and starts saying why do you gotta be so hurtful huh? huh? then starts laughing... i was hurt by that and i think she takes us for granted and thinks its all fun and games. 3. we arent intimate enough, or romantic, i can "touch" her, but we havent kissed? wtf?? 4. she likes to blow off what i say to her. 5. she doesnt see me enough, she sees me once a week, wtf?? it should be at least 3 times or more! 6. shes says the problems will be fixed, but i'll have to see about that. i know these might seem like serious problems, and they probably are but if she just fixed this petty crap and stopped being so immature then we would be really great, i told her today, if she cant change and fix these problems then its time for me to leave, for good. and for those of you who say why dont you leave her now its kinda hard because i just cant stand the thought of her being with someone else or me, call it what you want, obsession watever but i cant and it hurts to think that i just wanna fix these problems so i can be happy and she can too because i love her VERY VERY much! and she loves me and she complains sometimes that shes upset because of these problems but why doesnt she just fix them?!
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 7, 2005 Posted July 7, 2005 i just cant stand the thought of her being with someone else or me, call it what you want, obsession watever but i cant and it hurts to think that She probably knows you aren't going anywhere, and as a result takes complete advantage of you and takes you for granted. It sounds like her emotional investment in you is pretty low. 1. I always have time for her, but seems like she doesnt for me. 2. Whenever i try to be serious she always makes a joke out of something. 3. we arent intimate enough, or romantic, i can "touch" her, but we havent kissed? wtf?? 4. she likes to blow off what i say to her. 5. she doesnt see me enough, she sees me once a week, wtf?? it should be at least 3 times or more! 6. shes says the problems will be fixed, but i'll have to see about that. Pull yourself back emotionally and stop her from treating you this way. She can't treat you badly if you don't let her. Here are some 'non-doormat' ways to take back the control in this relationship. 1. Stop doing that. If you are busy doing something else, let her leave a message. Do not drop what you are doing to take calls or messages from her. Turn off your phone if you have to. Return her calls the next day or the day after. When you do call, keep the conversations short and let her know that you prefer to talk to her in person. 2. The next time she does that, tell her that you don't appreciate her behavior and leave immediately. 3. Stop all intimate or physical contact until these problems are addressed. Do not let her initiate it, and if she insists - leave. Tell her that you don't feel close to her with these problems you have. 4. When she does that again, say that you have a lot to do and then leave or hang up. 5. Stop making plans to see her. If she wants to see you, let her be the one to set up the contact. 6. Tell her the problems and ask her for SPECIFIC ways you and she will work this out. Maybe its time to call her out on getting those problems taken care of, if breaking up isn't an option. Tell her everything you said here, and let her know why it is a problem for her. Then ask her what SPECIFIC things you two can do to work this out. Do not accept vague answers. If she does not want to fix these problems, then she is part of them and the relationship needs to end.
Skeered Posted July 7, 2005 Posted July 7, 2005 how old are you guys? do you live together? I agree that her investment in the relationship doesn't sound to be the same as what you have put into it. However it also sounds like might be tryin to get her to feel the same as you do for her. IMO how long have you been dating? Sorry for the questions but these reasons can answer many questions on a person's behavior in this situation...
RecordProducer Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 It doesn't sound at all like she's into you and it's a problem that cannot be fixed that easily. For some reason she stays around so you can use the chance to get closer to her. However don't expect too much. If she doesn't want to kiss you, sees you once a week and has no time for you then she is definitely not in love with you. I mean, do you have a bad breath? Why won't she kiss you? How old are you guys?
Author alex434 Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 im 16 she will be 16 in this august, lol no i have clean fresh breath lol... i called her and said fix ur problems (i said them all) and i said or else i have to leave. she said shed fix them now and next time i see her they will be fixed so we'll see wat happens neway thanks for all ur help i'll keep you posted
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