newheart Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 My BF and I had our first date on 10/4, and we became exclusive on 11/8. So, one week from today is the one year anniversary of our first date. We never discussed an "anniversary" so I don't really know if I should say or do something. Also, he is bad with dates ... very bad - I thought he was exaggerating but while he knew the general timing of his parent's and siblings birthdays, he doesn't know their actual birth dates. I don't know why he doesn't use a calendar but anyway, point being, I seriously doubt this is even on his radar. (And I don't want him to feel bad if he doesn't remember the date) Do I still acknowledge this? I don't want to go overboard, but he is special to me and I don't want to let the day go unmentioned either. Our first date was at a hard cider orchard, so my thought was to maybe bring over some of their cider and a small gift for him. Thoughts? Do I get a card, or is that too much?
Toodaloo Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 I think its sweet and he might like that. Some people are just plain awful with dates... but if you can deal with that and know that he is highly unlikely to get you anything in return then why not. Its good to spoil and appreciate your partner. Just make sure he shows you the same on other days...
duncsvoice Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 I'm shocking at dates, I don't think my (now ex) and I ever acknowledged when we became official - but she took us to the very first place of our first date for breakfast on the date, and it was bloody lovely. I made sure I remembered the make a fuss from then on!
BaileyB Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 I think that's a very sweet idea and I'm sure that he will like it. Just don't be too disappointed if he doesn't think to remember your anniversary... Doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, just means that dates/anniversaries are not as important to him as they are to you. Some people truly have a hard time remember these things, myself included the older I get
Gaeta Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 I don't think dating should have anniversaries. If you start making gifts for dating what than are you gonna do for your real anniversaries? If you want to make it nice than plan a special date but personally I would not get into gifts and cards. If he is bad with dates than don't make it an issue. Remind him of important dates ahead of time and give him some reminders. A couple of weeks before your D day just tell him it will 1 year dating soon and you want to plan a special date. Just make peace with important dates. After 15 years with my ex-husband he still did not remember if we married on the 18 or 19. 2
angel.eyes Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 There's no right or wrong way to do this. Whatever works for you is fine. My approach: I would get hard apple cider from that orchard and a small dessert from your favorite bakery to celebrate. Maybe have a picnic at the orchard if the weather cooperates. No card. Regardless of what you ultimately choose to do, have fun!!!
jen1447 Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 Don't set him up to fail by giving him sth unexpectedly. Just tell him when it gets close that the 4th is your 1 year. Then you can give him a card (yes that would be nice) or gift or w/e and if he doesn't reciprocate it means he actually doesn't give a damn, which will be good to know.
basil67 Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 I think it's a lovely thing to do. Anyway, just initiate a conversation. "Hey, do you realise that in (x amount of time) we will have been together for a year? I'd like to do something nice for it" 1
spiderowl Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 It's nice that you want to acknowledge it's a special time for you. I would not get offended if he forgets. Take it from me, it's not just men who are bad with dates - I never rmember anniversaries and things like that. Some people live with dates in their heads and others don't. It all depends what we structure our lives around - for some, it is anniversaries, birthdays, special days, for others like me, we prefer lack of structure and freefall rather than diaries and anniversaries.
Ami1uwant Posted September 28, 2016 Posted September 28, 2016 See what he does. Given how poor he is in remembering stuff...he remembers this it means something much more.
Bialy Posted September 28, 2016 Posted September 28, 2016 Do something fun on the day - but no need to get a card or gift. Save the gift and cards for the first real relationship milestone -- the five year mark.
Author newheart Posted September 29, 2016 Author Posted September 29, 2016 Thanks, everyone! I am on the fence. Everyone has valid points - but I am not sure if I should give him a heads up (which may imply I expect something) or not, and just go with the flow. To be honest, I will be happy enough if he just acknowledges the day and I get to spend time with him. I will see him this weekend ... when we are talking about our plans for the week, what if I just say I'd like us to hang out Tuesday since it is the one year mark of our first date? Then I will bring along some hard cider.
jen1447 Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 ^ That's fine. Not telling him seems like some kind of shyt test, which would prob be how he saw it too if then you sprung it on him.
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