Penciller Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 Last visited here 6 years ago during a bad breakup. this forum helped me quite a bit. Years later, find myself in a rather juvenile situation... I'm in my early 40s and met a fun, interesting woman 2 months ago. Been out on a few dates (one coffee, a couple of museum trips, dinner) and I thought we both had a good time on each occasion. No intimacy yet. She got married some years back but it was a short marriage (to a younger man) that ended in divorce and overall a really rough time for her. Now she seems to have her wall up and says it's hard for her to get into another r'ship, or even like a man. I do feel she still carries some of the baggage, even blame, from her failed marriage (which she admits is the worst mistake of her life). For the last few weeks we've sent each other short texts almost daily (mostly initiated by me, but she always replies) and spoke on the phone a couple of times. Last time we spoke for over 3 hours into the night, where she opened up about some personal things. So basically it feels like we're getting to know each other better. She'd like most of my posts on social media, and compliments on my profile pic etc. At that time I definitely thought there's potential. On a good day, she'd send a text to ask how I was and tell me what she was doing. In general, it's friendly and not very long texts. She's not the best communicator via text. Last night was a downer though. I've been trying to ask her out again for the last 2 weeks and she canceled a coffee date a few days ago because of work, and when I asked her for dinner this week, she put it off again due to another appointment, but did not offer another alternative time. For me, that's a sign of perhaps losing interest. I'm starting to feel I'm pressing a bit much so will back off and not contact her anymore. At my age, I don't want to play games and I trust that I'd know if she's interested or not through her actions (or non-actions). Honestly, it feels a bit hot and cold. We are quite opposite personalities actually (she actually said that - maybe she's letting me know something). She's a free spirit and lives for the moment, while I'm more an introvert and tends to overthink things. Not sure how that'd work out. We're both very independent (she perhaps more than me). But we're also at the age where, I guess, we're hoping there could be one last shot at love. Certainly, I am. My head still questions if she's interested at all or really just being friendly (she's a really friendly gal). I haven't seen how she's like in front of other guys, so I can't be sure. I don't know how many of you guys here are in your 40s or older. The feeling isn't that different from our younger days - crushing on a person, thinking about her/him a lot. Maybe the difference is that I now tend to hope that sincerity, honesty and being upfront is a good thing cos we've all been through enough. I really like this woman and want to get to know her better. I guess like so many other, I just wish we could all read minds every now and then Anyway, would appreciate some thoughts / perspectives pls. And btw, older women totally rock P
Author Penciller Posted September 27, 2016 Author Posted September 27, 2016 Oh I didn't mention - she's only 5 months older. So we're both in our early 40s. But overall our lifestyles probably skew younger - both single professionals in the creative field.
grays Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 Wait a minute! Do you really ghink if her as older? Technically, of course, she was born first, but really?
Nightwriter Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 Why would you call her an older woman if she's the same age as you? Anyway, just tell her, "I'd enjoy getting coffee with you. If you're up for it, just give me a call. You have my number." And then move on. No need for dramatics. If she is interested, she'll reach out to you. If not, or if she has a bunch of orbiters or what not, then that's that. You did your part. You didn't ghost her. You left it on her court.
Quiet Storms Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 Oh I didn't mention - she's only 5 months older. This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time Five months older? From your title I figured maybe she was 15 years older. Or is it just because men in their 40s think that they "should" be dating women 10 or 15 years younger? Um, as far as your predicament of not being able to read her, try being more direct. But she does sound lukewarm about you.
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