dalane Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 I was seeing a girl for 6 weeks, and the relationship wasn't the most normal. She did some strange things to me. One thing she did was when we made plans to get together after work one day, she supposedly went home and fell asleep on her couch and never bothered telling me she wasn't coming over. What actually happened was she was still upset about something her ex boyfriend did the day before and that's why she didn't come over. Weird situation. The biggest thing she did was recently I went over to her apartment to take care of her when she was sick. I brought her soup, orange juice and tea to make her feel better. Everything seemed great at first. She felt better, we went to dinner with her friends, went to a concert, then went out for drinks again after the concert. It was getting late and I told her I needed to go to bed because I had to get up for work, which we all had to work the next day. She gave me her keys to her apartment and I went up to her apartment to get some sleep. The bar we were at is right below the apartments. About 30 minutes later she came into the apartment grabbed some stuff then left. It was strange that she did that but I thought she would come back. She text me 2 minuets later saying she locked her self out and she was just gonna stay at her friends apartment, who also lives in the same building. Her friend is a lesbian but I have no problem with that. The only thing that's strange between them is that they cuddle at times. Which is weird to me, but I ignored it, even though most women don't do that. Anyways, when she text me that she locked herself out I text her back saying "what do you mean you locked yourself out". She read the text on her iPhone and completely ignored it. I text again saying I was leaving and that I didn't come over to her apartment to sleep alone. I confronted her about the situation the next day and she basically was so upset that a day later she told me she didn't want to talk to me anymore. She told me that I say hurtful things to her and I'm always hurting her feelings, which didn't make sense to me because I've never really been mean to her. I just told her it wasn't right for her to leave me in her apartment and that she's a little to obsessed with her friends and with drinking. I should never have said that...but it was true. She sees her friends 4 to 5 days a week and they're all she ever talks about. She seems to love her friends more than her family. She drinks 5-6 days a week, sometimes every day. 2 glasses of wine everyday and at least 3 days a week she drinks much more than that. So what I said was true, but I know I shouldn't have said it. She doesn't like the truth, which most people don't, I understand that completely. She is previously divorced because her ex husband didn’t like that she would go to bars, and he pretty much has full custody of their child. I always thought that was an odd situation as well. Supposedly her and the ex husband agreed that whoever got married first, would get full custody. He got married first, so he moved to another state as well with the child and his new wife. She always made me feel bad like the breakup was mostly because I always said hurtful things. I wasn't mean to her in my opinion but I know other people see things differently. I once made a comment about her and her ex boyfriend, which is a big no no, but the truth is she wasn’t over him. I shouldn’t have said it, but again, it was true. Every other weekend she was going back to her hometown to see her friends she said. I didn’t think much of it, until I realized she still had stuff at her exes place, who lived in her hometown. Now after a couples months, she finally got her stuff out of his place, and she hasn’t been back to her hometown in almost a month. We had a big blowout a few days ago. She was mad at me for something when I was trying to be nice to her, and I called her a narcissist and told her she was ugly on the inside. Not a nice thing to say, and I realize that, but also another truth being told that should not have been told. During that conversation she admitted that she didn’t lock herself out of the apartment that night. She said she didn’t want to sleep with me because I was being annoying that night. I didn’t understand how I was being annoying by taking care of her when she was sick, then wanting to get some sleep at the end of the day, but who knows, maybe I was being annoying to her in some sort of way. Either way, she lied to me. She lied several times throughout the relationship. Unfortunately I can’t seem to stop thinking about what was said during the blowout, and it’s been bugging me. What bugs me the most is the fact that everything got turned around on me, and made it seem like the breakup was my fault because I said crappy things to her. I feel as if she is just trying to cover up what she did, and make it seem like it was all me. No one else I’ve been with has told me that I say crappy things to them, but it is quite possible that I’ve said things that I didn’t realize were offensive at the time. But overall, does it seem right to lie to someone and not stay in your own apartment with your boyfriend? What kind of character does this show in someone? This whole situation has been baffling me.
doyathinkso Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 It's only been 6 weeks. Maybe about 5 weeks too long, don't you think? 8
hippychick3 Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 It's only been 6 weeks. Maybe about 5 weeks too long, don't you think? Geez. More like 5 weeks and 6 days too long. I can't see one good reason to put yourself through this. Surely almost anyone else who is single and breathing would be a better option. 3
bubbaganoosh Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 From what you described, this girl is a train wreck and for some reason you can't see it. If your smart you shouldn't be looking to repair this because all I see is a lot of trouble heading your way. Move on and don't look back. 1
ZayKayWill Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 This woman has problems. Break up with her immediately. Clearly she doesn't respect you if you go to her place, take care of her, and then says she doesn't wanna sleep with you because you're annoying. That would have been a deal breaker for me.
ChickiePops Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 After 6 weeks she was a serious girlfriend? 1
GunslingerRoland Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 I don't know how old you guys are, but I find it hard to believe anyone who is past college age and goes to the bar 5+ nights a week has a normal well adjusted adult life. You have red flags waving at you from every direction... why are you determined to ignore them?
mikeylo Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 ' Something' Shady? It's pitch black dark
Toodaloo Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 This woman has "wrong" written all over her... Run Forest RUN!
Miss Peach Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 This sounds like a lot of drama. The first 6 weeks there may be a misunderstanding or two but this should be the EASY part of a relationship.
ChatroomHero Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 A guilty conscientious will do that to people. They will need a reason to make you the bad guy so they can justify their behavior to themselves. They can't live with themselves if they have to accept how crappy they are being. With one of my exes, she was cheating, not paying anything toward 1 single bill yet "working" full time. I did nice things for her and she did crappy things back. If I called her on anything I was left feeling like it was all my fault and I was the bad guy. A week before she moved out I caught her with her ex and said go move in with him, I'm not paying for another man's woman. She strongly denied it, said me thinking she was with him was because I was just crazy...Exactly 1 week after she moved out my friend sent her facebook picture or her and her ex and her new engagement ring. Deep down she knew what a garbage user she was being and she knew she was deceiving me and living off me, but blamed everything on me. It was the only way she justify her actions. Be happy she is gone.
Popsicle Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 How old are you two? I think she knows she has problems but is looking for someone to tolerate them. Maybe she had hoped that you'd be that someone, but you pretty much called her out on them and now she is disappointed that you aren't the person who will put up with her problems.
DKT3 Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 Best thing going for that relationship is its over, she sounds like a slow moving trainwreck.
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 The whole thing is baffling to YOU? Can you imagine how we feel reading this? Ugh. I think you know this girl is nothing but trouble. You're just looking for validation so consider this the validation you're seeking; She's a hot mess and be glad she's gone. Done. 1
preraph Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 She's not really present in this relationship. Time to pull the plug.
spiderowl Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 Whatever happened, the relationship wasn't working and you didn't trust her. I can't say I blame you because some of her actions were odd. She might be bi, hence the interest in her female friend. I think you were sensing something was off generally and obviously commenting in a forthright way. While there might have been other ways to say things, you probably got to the crux of the matter faster than most and worked out that you two seem incompatible. I don't think you are going to understand this situation as the women sounds complex, has a strange lifestyle, and is still attached to an ex. All this is a recipe for disaster in the future. Best you found out now and got out.
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