unexpected Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 So, long story short, I was about to quit dating after a Summer of horrendous, and/or uninspiring, first dates. None of them led to second dates. I figured I'd give it one more shot before closing down my dating site profiles. Lo and behold, I go out with a fantastic woman and it immediately turns into second dates, third dates, etc recently culminating into a 5 night sleep over before I had to send her home because my time with my daughter was starting (divorced, splitting placement 50/50). I did a lot of research on this woman and she does have a checkered past but I'm almost 45 and she is 40, so most of us have 'something' in our pasts. Summary - she was a very professional, strong woman with a fantastic career in the financial industry. Married for 13 years but quietly suffering from PTSD over a series of traumatic events in her life. She got divorced, suffered another traumatic event, and broke. She basically did something illegal, got caught, spent two months in jail and is now a convicted felon! However, there was nothing on her record before, and nothing afterwards or since. She has spent the last year and a half being properly treated for PTSD and putting her life back together. I'm oddly okay with her past! I totally realize that even good people sometimes just flip out! My question to the community is, how would you feel about someone you first met if you found out they were a former inmate and convicted felon? I actually think her story is rather amusing. At the same time it is pretty inspiring how she has proceeded to own her own mess and pick up the pieces to clean it up. She is in no way violent or dangerous, just had temporary lapse of good judgment and did something that violated a few domestic laws.
Midnight_Madness Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 Hi, From what you have said she sounds like a fantastic woman. You are right in saying everyone has done things in their past that they regret, as long as we learn from our mistakes I don't see an issue with that. If you wish to persue a relationship with this woman I think it would be okay to do so. After all if there are unexpected signs of trouble you can always end the relationship, it's a free world . Best of luck in the future. 1
Miss Peach Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 My only caution as a single parent would be how might it impact your custody situation if things got serious with her? 1
VeveCakes Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 I have had several room mates who were convicts, and they were the best people I have ever met in my life. I will never judge someone who has been in jail if their story is understandable. Sounds like she had a rough patch in life....I would not worry about it. 1
Author unexpected Posted October 5, 2016 Author Posted October 5, 2016 Thanks everyone for the feedback. It's nice to see things when looking through the eyes of others that are not so close to the situation. I wanted to make sure that my feelings for her were not clouding my judgement. So far, she has proven to be a very wonderful woman to relate with. Does she have baggage and issues? Sure! But, I'm a little bumped, bruised, and scraped from my own life experiences as well. And, she seems to understand more how those things affect me than others I have dated (probably because of her own experiences). As far as the comment about child custody - you are correct and I am aware of that. However, me and my ex have a very good relationship and the only thing we did NOT have differences on when we divorced is how child custody would go with my daughter. We both respect each others roles as "Mom & Dad" and we trust each others judgments. So, I've told my ex about my new gf's past and she told me she trusts that I will do what is best for my daughter if things become an issue. In short, the new gf was in a custody battle with her ex, over her daughter, was suffering a ptsd episode, got scared she would lose her daughter, went to the ex's house, had AAA make a key for her ex's wife's car, and took it for a drive for 3 hours. She returned it. Even filled the tank back up with gas. Her ex's wife was not amused and neither was the court! So, like I said, she's not 'dangerous'. She was just under a lot of stress and being treated incorrectly for bi-polar instead of PTSD. She's a very loving woman, who seems to be trying really hard to get her life back to a sense of 'normal'. As one poster said, if it takes a turn for the worse, I can always end the relationship. Thanks again, everybody!
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