BF hiding present from female co-worker

[Gaeta]

OP, don't you find it a bit odd that the one female coworker is always texting FOR the other female coworker all the time? What's up with THAT? Did your boyfriend block that female coworker from his phone? Who continually texts for someone else?

 

If this is her worry than she odd to make a thread about it because getting a bottle of wine as a gift at work, in itself, means absolutely nothing in the culture we live in.

[Gaeta]

I'll tell you he didn't tell you because he would get this sort of reaction from you.

 

OP has a tread about having temper tantrums over little things. In this current thread she talks about a 6 month relationship with ups and down and yelling at her boyfriend while he is over the phone with a friend, that deserved her the name creep from his friends. That tells a lot.

 

OP has huge trust and temper issues and refuse to take any responsibility for it.

 

Nomorejerks: When we have trust issues the way you do then we don't date men like your boyfriend. Like your name says, if you don't want anymore jerks in your life than stop dating them.

[elaine567]

The OP may or may not be over-reacting here, it may be entirely innocent on his part and he kept quiet to keep the peace or she is his OW and he kept quiet to as not to alert the OP to his wandering ways, but this guy she has found to be the king of secrets and sneaky/shady behavour., so I guess she is now easily triggered.

[PogoStick]

Why can't a coworker (and possibly friend) get him a present? $30 isn't an outlandish gift, but it's at least a friendly one. I'd love to have work friends like that actually. And if I did, I'd be annoyed at having a jealous girlfriend over it.

[Versacehottie]

The OP may or may not be over-reacting here, it may be entirely innocent on his part and he kept quiet to keep the peace or she is his OW and he kept quiet to as not to alert the OP to his wandering ways, but this guy she has found to be the king of secrets and sneaky/shady behavour., so I guess she is now easily triggered.

 

oh yeah I remember that post. I just remember thinking that I had nothing to add but it seemed like an unwinnable situation. My opinion when re-reading the older thread coupled with what is going on with this one is that OP may think she is more of a gf than she is. They are maybe not on the same page.

 

OP had this quote in that post: "I know, I know, people are gonna say, if I don't trust him at this point, then what's the point of continuing with him.But either way, whatever I decide to do, I just want to know that I did it for good reasons, and not crazy assumptions that prove to be wrong."

 

Yes, that's right. This is what people will say about both situations. OP, you are most definitely at a crossroads. You don't trust him and keep accusing him of shady behavior (in your head, to this forum on this most current issue). You are actually feeding your distrust of him, not building on trusting him. You keep looking for evidence that backs up your belief that he is shady. At this point it barely matters if it is true or untrue because you don't trust him. Whether that's based on real concerns or injected with a heavy dose of your built up distrust and insecurity (which it does help to take responsibility for since it is part of what fueling all this and causing your indecision). Anyway, time to decide.

[NoMoreJerks]

I know this issue is critical to you. But your reaction to just her post is exactly why he didn't tell you. You are getting really upset here.

OK, point taken, and thanks for the replies and input! But what I am wondering is, if I was that over-the-board with my reactions and he knew it, why would he have told me about the cake? Considering that all his coworkers are female, and I could easily find that just as inappropriate (since it may have been spearheaded by one woman in particular, even if masquerading as a group thing).. why would he not hide that from me as well? This is what got me wondering. If he had hidden both, I would've just assumed (upon finding out), that he had just not wanted to share that with me (for whatever reason), or it might have slipped his mind, or he didn't think it important to share with me (though I'd contest that, since it's a special occasion thing, not a daily occurrence!).

[NoMoreJerks]

I do agree with whoever said that once you I think you need to get clear on whether you believe he is really "hiding" you.

I do think he is hiding me. He has gone out of his way to hide me. He lies to his parents about 5 times a day at the very least, in order to keep my existence from coming to light. He lies about his whereabouts, why he can't talk, etc. I call that active hiding/keeping me a secret. He told me he did not want to add me on facebook, as it kills the mystery. Then he changed his tune and said he had family on there. And now, he has changed his tune again, and claims that he'd technically have no issues adding me but that I'd have to be "just a friend" "for now." Asked what "for now" is supposed to mean and what's the expiry date on it, and no concrete answer. I honestly don't think it's about not wanting to tell everyone he's madly in love with me only for us to break up a few days later and him to be all embarrassed about it... because I am not even that kind of person who believes in public displays of affection on facebook... He could just admit that I exist, that he is dating someone... and taking it slowly... I don't mind that ,because I know everyone goes at their own pace on these issues. But I think that there IS a qualitative difference between the way he is keeping me a secret, and someone not wanting to profess his love by screaming it from the rooftops... (though my understanding is, from my girl friends' experiences, men who think you're the "one" will make sure to seal the deal and will be proud to talk about u to everyone).

 

I think that is a lot of what is fueling what is going on overall. I think your reaction (and that of most people's to be honest at 6 months) shows that it is a deal breaker to you if you feel hidden but that you are "fighting" it because you don't want to let him go.

Yeah, you are right about me being the one "fighting" it. Unfortunately, I think that this relationship was so one-sided from the beginning, and he was a charmer at first.. but it fizzled out for him real quick, and now we're in a semi-cohabitation type thing, where every now and then he gets me some flowers etc. to keep me interested, and profits from the s*x. This is the way I've been increasingly feeling, and given our history of fights every time I bring up a subject for discussion, and him shutting me out by claiming that "why are we even talking about this at this point, it's too early, etc.), I do not even feel comfortable talking to him about how I feel.

[Gaeta]

Looks like you have much bitter issues than him getting a wine bottle from a co-worker for his birthday.

 

Why do you accept to be treated this way?

 

Don't you believe in mutual respect in a relationship?

 

There are tons and tons of men out there to date, why in the world do you accept to be treated like this?

[NoMoreJerks]

OP and I are from the same cultural background. For us wine is the cheapest gift you can get someone. It's the last-minute-not-too-much-thoughts gift you can get someone. We are the biggest purchasers of wine in North America that tells you how much wine we consume. If a colleague bought me a bottle of wine I'd think nothing of it. If he got me a shirt, or another personal item I'd be worried but not a bottle of wine. There is a wine store at every corner of this city, it's the official no hassle gift and no, if I got a bottle of wine for gift it would probably stay on my desk at work and I wouldn't have a second thought about it.

I'd contest that, based on contextual reasons. Yes, wine is quite prevalent, but not for everyone (for instance, I was more into microbrewery beers than wine, until quite recently), and some people just don't consume much alcohol in the first place. Also, I'd hesitate to get someone a bottle of wine as a gift, unless I know they are into that sort of thing/i.e. that they consume it, not that they are connoisseurs necessarily... this means she knows quite a bit about him in terms of his drinking habits, etc. I don't think it was a wild gamble/hit and miss type thing. Personally, I don't share stuff like that with my coworkers, it rarely ever comes up (what would you say, and in what context, during the work day? "oh btw I drink wine with my dinner!"???)

 

But more importantly, it's the context that threw me off. I'd have thought much less about this as a red flag, if she had given him that bottle of wine and he'd just said to me, oh yeah, my female co-worker gave me a bottle of wine -- we can open it and enjoy it together when we cook a nice meal or go out for a meal at a restaurant! Instead, he is keeping it in his cellar, as a prized possession that is hidden from me. He's since gone out to fetch a bottle of red wine for us to have dinner with (fancy dinner that I cooked), from the supermarket (the cheap ones), instead of suggesting that we open that one.. which I would not even have wondered where he got from!!! I'd have just assumed he got it from SAQ (the wine store for those who are unfamiliar with the term lol) for a future occasion ......

[NoMoreJerks]

OP has a tread about having temper tantrums over little things. In this current thread she talks about a 6 month relationship with ups and down and yelling at her boyfriend while he is over the phone with a friend, that deserved her the name creep from his friends. That tells a lot.

I've been quite calm in the past few months. And most of it stemmed from my stress over work and my (perception) that I was a complete failure in terms of my career. I 've been quite mature in my responses to him lately, and on the calm side. I think he's misinterpreted that for him "having tamed me" / "put a leash on me" (as he told his friend).

 

OP has huge trust and temper issues and refuse to take any responsibility for it.

Um, actually, I did/do take responsibility for it -- that is why I looked for advice on my temper issues a while back... and I have acknowledged my trust issues in the past as well.

[NoMoreJerks]

Why can't a coworker (and possibly friend) get him a present? $30 isn't an outlandish gift, but it's at least a friendly one. I'd love to have work friends like that actually. And if I did, I'd be annoyed at having a jealous girlfriend over it.

She's been sending text to him throughout the day, even as they sit across from each other... flirty banter in the texts. Plus gift. And yeah, $30 is a "big" deal, if you consider that in the dating game, people are often advised not to get a date a gift that surpasses $20-30 at least in the first 3 months of the dating process. I'd consider $30 more in the ballpark of a romantic interest, rather than a friendly co-worker. These are not people who make $100K a year. She likely makes $17/hr. I've given male co-workers $15 gift cards from a bookstore (less personal IMO than a bottle of wine ), and even the $15 I thought to be too much but couldn't have given $10 as it would've looked too cheap. And I make $25/hr. Considering that also most bottle of wines here (average price) is $12-18 (max 20), this tells me that this woman went out of her way to get him a "nicer" wine.

[Gaeta]

I'd contest that, based on contextual reasons. Yes, wine is quite prevalent, but not for everyone (for instance, I was more into microbrewery beers than wine, until quite recently), and some people just don't consume much alcohol in the first place. Also, I'd hesitate to get someone a bottle of wine as a gift, unless I know they are into that sort of thing/i.e. that they consume it, not that they are connoisseurs necessarily... this means she knows quite a bit about him in terms of his drinking habits, etc. I don't think it was a wild gamble/hit and miss type thing. Personally, I don't share stuff like that with my coworkers, it rarely ever comes up (what would you say, and in what context, during the work day? "oh btw I drink wine with my dinner!"???)

 

But more importantly, it's the context that threw me off. I'd have thought much less about this as a red flag, if she had given him that bottle of wine and he'd just said to me, oh yeah, my female co-worker gave me a bottle of wine -- we can open it and enjoy it together when we cook a nice meal or go out for a meal at a restaurant! Instead, he is keeping it in his cellar, as a prized possession that is hidden from me. He's since gone out to fetch a bottle of red wine for us to have dinner with (fancy dinner that I cooked), from the supermarket (the cheap ones), instead of suggesting that we open that one.. which I would not even have wondered where he got from!!! I'd have just assumed he got it from SAQ (the wine store for those who are unfamiliar with the term lol) for a future occasion ......

 

Here is your problem. You have lost all of your trust in this man, you have 1 million reasons to not trust him and when we get to that point then every little thing becomes a red flag.

 

You have much bigger problems than this bottle of wine.

 

The bottle of wine on itself is nothing. I don't drink wine and I don't talk about wine but yet each year someone I don't know very much will offer me one for the holidays because it's a universal present to offer when you have no other idea what the person like.

 

And yes she went to the SAQ to get it, they're all over the place and in each metro station! and it's very tacky to offer a bottle of wine bought in a grocery store or depanneur.

 

It's in the 'moeurs' here. You go to a friend 'stop at the SAQ'. You're invited somewhere 'stop at the SAQ'. It's someone's birthday and you are empty ended 'stop at the SAQ'.

 

So like I said, this is not about a bottle of wine. This is about the other 1 million other reasons you should not be with this guy.

[NoMoreJerks]

Here is your problem. You have lost all of your trust in this man, you have 1 million reasons to not trust him and when we get to that point then every little thing becomes a red flag.

 

You have much bigger problems than this bottle of wine.

 

The bottle of wine on itself is nothing. I don't drink wine and I don't talk about wine but yet each year someone I don't know very much will offer me one for the holidays because it's a universal present to offer when you have no other idea what the person like.

 

And yes she went to the SAQ to get it, they're all over the place and in each metro station! and it's very tacky to offer a bottle of wine bought in a grocery store or depanneur.

 

It's in the 'moeurs' here. You go to a friend 'stop at the SAQ'. You're invited somewhere 'stop at the SAQ'. It's someone's birthday and you are empty ended 'stop at the SAQ'.

 

So like I said, this is not about a bottle of wine. This is about the other 1 million other reasons you should not be with this guy.

I've never personally gotten bottle of wine on ANYONE's birthday (especially people I do NOT know that well, and especially not people of the opposite sex) or any other occasion. I only take a bottle of wine with me when invited to dinners or other occasions (like a lead-up to an evening out for a bachelorette party). That's the ONLY time I'd get wine. And when I took my BF out for his bday dinner , to a BYOW restaurant, and that was for our personal consumption, not a gift. I honestly do not think it is as prevalent as you make it to be, certainly not a $30 bottle of wine anyway! More in the $14-20 range, maybe. I've similarly never received such a gift, definitely not from co-workers! Anyway, the question is not whether SHE is interested in him, really... highly likely that she IS, considering all the flirty texts, her asking female coworkers to request that my BF provide services for her )... but whether HE is interested in her, or keeping his options open. The way he handled the whole thing (selfie with the bottle of wine , pic sent to her, hiding it from me while not hiding cake, etc.) suggests that my mistrust is not misplaced.

Edited September 27, 2016 by NoMoreJerks

[Gaeta]

I've never personally gotten bottle of wine on ANYONE's birthday (especially people I do NOT know that well, and especially not people of the opposite sex) or any other occasion. I only take a bottle of wine with me when invited to dinners or other occasions (like a lead-up to an evening out for a bachelorette party). That's the ONLY time I'd get wine. And when I took my BF out for his bday dinner , to a BYOW restaurant, and that was for our personal consumption, not a gift. I honestly do not think it is as prevalent as you make it to be, certainly not a $30 bottle of wine anyway! More in the $14-20 range, maybe. I've similarly never received such a gift, definitely not from co-workers!

 

Why in my whole post you only commented on the bottle of wine?

 

Why are you dating this man at all?

[Gaeta]

Why in my whole post you only commented on the bottle of wine?

 

Why are you dating this man at all?

 

Listen, we are in a city with close to 4 millions people counting suburbs. There are men left and right all over the place!! Each time you turn a corner in this city you come to face with an even more hot dude!! It's literally raining men!! Why do you date this arse?

[katiegrl]

I've never personally gotten bottle of wine on ANYONE's birthday (especially people I do NOT know that well, and especially not people of the opposite sex) or any other occasion. I only take a bottle of wine with me when invited to dinners or other occasions (like a lead-up to an evening out for a bachelorette party). That's the ONLY time I'd get wine. And when I took my BF out for his bday dinner , to a BYOW restaurant, and that was for our personal consumption, not a gift. I honestly do not think it is as prevalent as you make it to be, certainly not a $30 bottle of wine anyway! More in the $14-20 range, maybe. I've similarly never received such a gift, definitely not from co-workers! Anyway, the question is not whether SHE is interested in him, really... highly likely that she IS, considering all the flirty texts, her asking female coworkers to request that my BF provide services for her )... but whether HE is interested in her, or keeping his options open. The way he handled the whole thing (selfie with the bottle of wine , pic sent to her, hiding it from me while not hiding cake, etc.) suggests that my mistrust is not misplaced.

 

Yeah my BOSSES might give me a $30.00 bottle of wine, but not a co-worker, and if a male co-worker who had been flirting with me gave it to me, I would probably not accept (if I were in a committed RL).

 

And yes I do think it's odd that your bf DID accept OP and took a pic with it to boot.... and the fact he attempted to HIDE that from you would set my spiney senses off big time.

 

And if my bf was given such a gift by a female co-worker, one who had been flirting with him, sending him sexy texts... while I wouldn't expect him to reject it (like I probably would), he would definitely tell me about it. Probably while drinking it (together).

 

No I wouldn't expect him to tell me every little thing that goes on in his day (nor would he expect that from me) but something like that warrants telling and certainly NOT him hiding it from you.

 

Something is definitely NOT jiving there and I for one am glad to see you paying attention!

 

So many women don't, instead choosing to wear the proverbial blinders only to find out later that their bf was hiding something or things which leaves them confused and heartbroken and maybe even beating themselves up a bit for not paying attention sooner... and/or shuffling stuff like that under the rug.

 

I mean there is trust, and there is wearing blinders. Two entirely different things.

Edited September 27, 2016 by katiegrl

[Acacia98]

NoMoreJerks, relationships are not supposed to be this convoluted and exhausting.

 

The fact that you don't feel comfortable talking to him about how you feel is reason enough to end things. That's something I've learned from my own dating history: If there are barriers to communication, then there's no emotional intimacy. And if there's no emotional intimacy, there's no real relationship. You're just passing time, feeling unloved, and it's eating into your self esteem.

 

The fact that he doesn't want you interacting with his family or in his Facebook space, and the fact that he partners with his friend in talking negatively about you: Well, he doesn't sound like he has a backbone. Sounds very much like he lives for others' approval. If you stay with this guy, you will perpetually experience other people's interference in your relationship. It also sounds like he doesn't see much promise in his relationship with you. Insisting on remaining in this kind of arrangement is definitely going to destroy your self-esteem.

 

You obviously have needs that are not being met in this relationship. The things that matter to you, that you need to have to feel emotionally secure and connected to the guy simply are not there. It is okay for you to want more from this relationship than you're getting and to decide you want to break things off. Don't spend too much time analyzing the relationship and trying to figure out what his intentions, agenda, or whatever are. The important thing to do here is to prioritize your emotional well-being. Ask yourself, does this relationship affirm you and make you happy? The answer is obviously no. So be kind to yourself.

[Gaeta]

I find interesting that he has been hiding you from family and friends for 6 months and you're ok enough about it to continue dating him but you're having a super fit for not divulging a bottle of wine. Don't you have it backward?

[katiegrl]

I find interesting that he has been hiding you from family and friends for 6 months and you're ok enough about it to continue dating him but you're having a super fit for not divulging a bottle of wine. Don't you have it backward?

 

I can sort of understand G.

 

If it had been any other co-worker, maybe her response wouldn't be as extreme.

 

But the co-worker who gave it has been flirting with him and sending him sexy texts.... so she feel threatened and insecure, thinking maybe he is cheating, or wants to, or may break up with her.

 

Which kicks in her fear of abandonment.

 

Makes sense, but what I don't get is why she is sticking around.

 

Why do you stay NMJ?

 

I mean look at your moniker. No More Jerks.

 

But yet here you are, with another jerk!

 

Why?

[Gaeta]

I do think he is hiding me. He has gone out of his way to hide me. He lies to his parents about 5 times a day at the very least, in order to keep my existence from coming to light. He lies about his whereabouts, why he can't talk, etc. I call that active hiding/keeping me a secret. He told me he did not want to add me on facebook, as it kills the mystery. Then he changed his tune and said he had family on there. And now, he has changed his tune again, and claims that he'd technically have no issues adding me but that I'd have to be "just a friend" "for now." Asked what "for now" is supposed to mean and what's the expiry date on it, and no concrete answer. I honestly don't think it's about not wanting to tell everyone he's madly in love with me only for us to break up a few days later and him to be all embarrassed about it... because I am not even that kind of person who believes in public displays of affection on facebook... He could just admit that I exist, that he is dating someone... and taking it slowly... I don't mind that ,because I know everyone goes at their own pace on these issues. But I think that there IS a qualitative difference between the way he is keeping me a secret, and someone not wanting to profess his love by screaming it from the rooftops... (though my understanding is, from my girl friends' experiences, men who think you're the "one" will make sure to seal the deal and will be proud to talk about u to everyone).

 

 

And she worries about a bottle of wine.

 

To me it's like someone worrying about a zit while on cancer treatment.

 

He has been lying and cheating on her for 6 months. He has let her believe that they are dating while all this time he is only using her for sex. And she worries about a bottle of wine? Shouldn't she be worried about the past 6 months of her life she wasted on him? She has one tree in front of her (the bottle of wine) and can't see the damn forest behind (his 6 months of cheating)

[Versacehottie]

OK, point taken, and thanks for the replies and input! But what I am wondering is, if I was that over-the-board with my reactions and he knew it, why would he have told me about the cake? Considering that all his coworkers are female, and I could easily find that just as inappropriate (since it may have been spearheaded by one woman in particular, even if masquerading as a group thing).. why would he not hide that from me as well? This is what got me wondering. If he had hidden both, I would've just assumed (upon finding out), that he had just not wanted to share that with me (for whatever reason), or it might have slipped his mind, or he didn't think it important to share with me (though I'd contest that, since it's a special occasion thing, not a daily occurrence!).

 

ok hi nomorejerks, I do think you are reacting irrationally. A few of us keep pointing out the bottle of wine could mean nothing major and have given evidence and examples from our own lives that it is not a big deal. I think you are splitting hairs about this minor thing when the bigger thing is that you don't trust him. At this point, it doesn't matter whether there is truth to the reasons you don't trust him or not. You just don't. You feel belittled. You're getting into sneaky, suspicious and controlling territory--not a good look on any woman btw. You are going in circles trying to figure out every possible reason and scenario--probably so you can justify continuing to snoop on him or debate every nuance in your head or have it out with people on here whose answers don't suit what you want to hear.

 

It's really sooooooo simple. If you believe what he's doing is legit shady, break up with him. If he's making you jealous and irrational to this extent, break up with him & then work on that within yourself.

 

I think you are trying to squeeze a middle ground out of the posters that will advocate he's shady AND out of line and oh yeah, he still gets to be your bf. No one has said that (i don't think). The ones that are agreeing he's all shades of shady are pretty much still saying you've got to break up with him. The camp that is saying there may be relatively innocent reasons (though the relationship is fraught with problems) for the bottle of wine are getting the third degree that you probably want to be giving him!!! about how shady it is and on and on. It's obviously the things you want to be saying to him. And most of this camp is saying without trust in him, the relationship's doomed anyway so you should break up. We are trying to give you plausible reasons why the wine could be not a big deal and you don't want to see them (this would be a possibility to stay together if this was the sole issue). Anyway, if you don't want to see those, what's the point---neither camp is telling you to stay with him under the circumstances, including the ones under your control, such as your own issues.

 

You acting a little victim-y like you are trapped. What exactly is semi-cohabitating?!? You have your own place--go back. The bigger issues, which you have failed to address with him (in hopes of keeping him I imagine) are him not claiming you. That's pretty huge at 6 months. So why are you acting like a gf? He doesn't want to claim you as a gf, he no have a gf, maybe just a friend. Simple. And then there's the whole thing that I don't think you are really being honest with yourself about: he thinks the relationship is at one stage and you think it's much further along. That's huge. The wine and other girl are nothing in the scope of these other things. Just symptoms of much larger problems. Other girl flirtation EXISTS because you've allowed these problems to simmer while you have strong feelings about them. He's digging his heels in one his stance, it appears. So again, I tell you, you are at a crossroads. We've all spelled it out for you: break up with him.

 

ps he told you about the cake, because you would be batsh*t to go kookoo about a group cake. Irrational and unfair. He may have thrown you the bone of the cake because then he wouldn't tell you about the wine which he knows you would go crazy about (you are going crazy about it here, he knows, trust me!). I'm telling you I don't know exactly what you "bf" is doing but I do know that part of the problem is that you do have insecurity, jealousy issues which you should seek help for. It doesn't matter if they are unfounded or founded. If they were founded, a secure girl would leave him --thus we have insecure for you. If they are unfounded or you are digging for things, seeing things that aren't quite there, then it's jealousy for you. Does this make sense? This is the part that you don't SEEM to be getting. And you keep going back in circles to the minute details of the wine, the co-worker who sits two desks away and the family he talks to 5 times a days etc etc. This is CLASSIC jealous girl behavior. You have enough information--it's decision time. As usual, good luck

[Poutrew]

The wine was only $30? And you really feel he needs to report to you that he got it? He probably considers it no big deal. Little does he know he has a girlfriend who checks his text messages, and who knows what else. If he gives you no reason to doubt him, let it go and stop reading stuff not meant for you. If he does give you a reason to distrust him, get another boyfriend.

[Sunkissedpatio]

I live in the same "culture" as those claiming that giving a bottle of wine is a common gift.

 

And while I agree that a bottle of wine is a more transactional gift that is customary in a work situation, a $30 of wine from a female co-worker that is hidden from your partner smells of sketchiness.

 

And that is a customary conclusion that most of us in that same "culture" that assumes a bottle of wine is an innocuous gift, will also make.

 

For example, my ex had a pretty high profile job and he would get individual gifts from coworkers and his staff alike and never was there any need to hide any of the gifts that were given, even if they came from an individual female. Likely this was because he has nothing to hide. And I could be quite jealous at times too so he knew all too well the "avoiding situations" to start something. But a hiding a gift from a female coworker just creates a lot more drama than need be.

 

Where there's smoke....

 

I would feel uncomfortable if a male co-worker gave me a bottle of wine for my birthday. If we were work friends and a friendship that my partner was well aware of, no issue whatsoever and vice versa. I certainly wouldn't hide it from my man.

 

The fact he took a pic with it and texted it back to her is super SKETCH.

 

I wouldn't let some people's "anything goes" attitudes talk you out of what you are sensing and feeling in this situation. Something is not right and you know it. He is hiding more than just a present. And if he is not, the fact he feels the need to hide something like that from you tells you that he is quite capable of being sneaky and duplicitous.

 

Not the kind of traits one would hope for in someone they are banking on a long-term relationship with.

Edited September 28, 2016 by Sunkissedpatio