Complicated to say the least.

[Snowy87]

So I have ventured into a complicated situation that I'm completely lost and confused about. I met a woman back in April of this year and she contacted me and we hit it off and we're talking/ texting frequently through the the day. During this time she told me that she was separating from her husband of 5 years and moving out with her 3 children.

 

I continued to talk to her and we hung out as friends on multiple different occasions up to the point of where she was moved out and in her own place. Fast forward to around June and we decided to make something of it and began to unofficially date you could say. At this point I had met and been around her kids quite a bit and their father was still around. Things were great and everything was good good.

 

Over the next 2 months we went through several up and down periods and she broke it off twice saying that she wanted to try and make it work with the children's father. I said okay if you can make it work with your ex that is what's best for the children. He told her both times that he would have another go at it and change his mind the next day. This in turn sent her on an emotional roller coaster. So me being who I am was riding the same roller coaster of ups and downs.

 

So it's the beginning of August now and her oldest son started preschool in the middle of the month and she wanted to take the kids on a trip before he started school. So her, the kids, and her mother and I took the kids on a mini vacation you could say. All was good but she seemed a little distant. When we got back her and I went to the county fair with some friends and her ex was there with his new gf. When she saw that it sent her off the deep end. Telling me she obviously still had feelingsome for him.

 

That was a Monday and on the following Wednesday she said she was bound and determined to make it work with her still husband (just waiting on the court date). Again I said okay. At this point I see the kids frequently and they ask her about where I'm at all the time. So she cuts off all communication and deletes me from all social media. I didn't talk to her for a month. Through the grapevine I hear from friends that she is no longer trying to be with her ex. So I sent her a text say I saw a horse that she had said she always wanted and it reminded me of her.

 

She did not respond but her mother did and she said to never contact her daughter again. So I left it at that. That brings up to recently where I went to a truck pull that I've always gone to and she showed up with a new bf. She completely avoided me when she was around him but kept looking at me and when she wasn't with him I caught her staring at me twice. One of the two times she waved.

 

So moral of this novel is that she is no longer trying to be with her ex. Doesn't talk to me but has asked mutual friends about me. Then shows up with this new guy. Most everyone that knows much of anything says to run for the hills. I care a lot about this woman and her children. There are a lot of other factors that play into all this but this novel is long enough already. This woman means the world to me.

[aloneinaz]

People always say YOU NEVER get involved with someone freshly out of a marriage or that's in the process of divorcing. Way too many emotions and drama that person has to deal with before being able to think of another relationship.

 

There's nothing here for you to do and I don't understand what you feel is complicated? Bottom line, she didn't feel it with you and ended it. Blocking you everywhere, etc.. Her Mom then told you to leave her alone. Now, you run into her with a new BF. I'm not sure what else she needs to do for you to understand?

 

Somehow, you have to accept that you screwed up getting involved with a woman not even divorced yet and on top of that, she didn't feel it with you and moved onto someone else.

 

Do yourself a favor, DON'T contact her again and find someone who is at a stage in their life to start a relationship.

[ExpatInItaly]

Never, never get involved with someone fresh out of relationship, let alone a marriage.

 

She liked you well enough but you were obviously a rebound. I'm with the above poster - forget about her and find someone who is ready for a relationship.

[Satu]

There's nothing complicated about it.

 

You were just one of at least two rebounds.

 

Make this a learning experience and don't get involved with anyone like her again.

 

 

From my journals:

 

 

"Never begin a new relationship until you've fully moved on from the one before.

 

Also never begin a new relationship with someone who hasn't fully moved on from their one before.

 

By 'moved on,' I mean any necessary grieving done, not preoccupied with the ex, enjoying life, feeling good about yourself, and optimistic about the future.

 

The best way to move on is to decide to be single for a while; not dating, not hooking up, no fwb.

 

'Get back on the horse' is sound advice, but its best to let the cuts and bruises heal before you do."

 

No contact

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

Take care.