Mindprison Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 Hey all! Just hear to get a little advice. Haven't been on any dates for about 8 years. Spend 5 with a women and then 3 trying to piece my life back together after. Can finally say I'm getting back to my old self. I feel happy, confident and I've taken up different hobbies. I go to the gym 3 times a week and have lost 35 to top it off. Basically I had given up on trying to meet someone and low and behold a while after someone came along out of the blue. We were introduced by a mutual friend and we hit it off. I've been going on dates with her for about a month now and things have been good but I have a few things I'm not sure if I should be worried about or not. 1st - First date went 6 hours, second went 10 (she kissed me), 3rd another 6. I've been over to her place multiple times to watch movies etc and we cuddle and make out for time to time as well. Our convos flow and there has never been any awkward moments. Trouble is I honestly don't know if she's interested in a relationship or if this is all she sees us becoming. I'd like to get into a relationship with her. She is an amazing person that I love spending time with and I am afraid of screwing things up. 2nd - In between dates we hardly talk at all. We usually snap chat each other 2- 3 times a day but there is little to no convo. Even when I ask her on dates she just agrees and the entire convo last 2-3 messages and that's it. So when I do text her I feel like I am bugging her so I just stop all together. Probably stupid things to worry about but I haven't been in the game for awhile. It defiantly different than it has been in the past for me. I guess it's just frustrating because I feel like I never know where I stand with her. Anyways if you guys could give perspective that would be great. Thank you!
Smoothman Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 You're an adult, this isn't a high-school romance. Seduce her. 2
smackie9 Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 Just be yourself and do what you feel. She keeps saying yes to dates because she likes you so don't sweat it. Dating hasn't changed, it's still challenging. Everyone is different when it comes to dating. Some women expect the man to initiate communication, some want phone calls, some want texting. You have to just go with the flow. Not all people get all crazy within the first few weeks of dating, some like to take their time. If things don't work out oh well that's life....you just move on. For now just relax and enjoy the journey.
Author Mindprison Posted September 26, 2016 Author Posted September 26, 2016 You right, this isn't high school dating but at the sametime I don't want to push my limits. I actually care for this girl and I'd like for it to go somewhere. I also want to take it slow. When I am with her it's great! We connect well etc, when I left Thursday she was going to go visit her family for the weekend and had said she would keep in touch and let me know when she gets back into to town but I never heard from her. So this is why I am so up and down with the whole situation. This dating experience is different from any others I've had so that's why I thought I'd see what everyone thought that's all. Thank you for the comments.
smackie9 Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 Stop investing your feelings unless there is some reciprocation from her. I have a feeling your feelings are more advanced than hers. I would watch more closely to what explanation she has for not contacting you if she ever does. Tip: go by their actions not by what they tell you.
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 To answer your opening question, YES, it has indeed changed...A LOT! I agree with those who said, be yourself. If you're going to start playing a "game" where you're behaving in whatever ways you "think" you should rather than do whatever feels most natural to you, you will inevitably burn out, get tired or resentful. Don't start off a relationship like that. Trust me. It will only prove to frustrate you and set you both up for failure. Good luck. 1
Miss Peach Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 She says yes to your dates, she's being physical with you, and responds to your texts. I think it seems fine. FWIW I don't initiate until I'm in a relationship. There are a lot of women out there who will reciprocate but not chase. One thing I've come to know as I've gotten older is to remember it's going to be a match or it's not. If you have to twist into a pretzel for her to like you then it's not a good relationship IME.
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