Jump to content

Broke up with my girlfriend and found out she got back with her long distance ex

danielko2015

By danielko2015
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

danielko2015 New Member

danielko2015

Posted
Posted

Little bit of her background:

 

My ex girlfriend parents divorce when she was 9 years old, then she followed her mom. Her mom had crazy boyfriends who abuse her and stuff then also sleeping with different guys and moving to places. These happens until she graduate high school. During school time she had 6 boyfriends who uses her and abuse her too by the time. So pretty much she had a really dark history. I don't know if it helps.

 

So me and my ex girlfriend were together for 6 months, we loved each other a lot but then we broke up cause she said she "lost" the feeling. And saying she don't love me anymore. 2 weeks before we break up i notice she is texting with her ex which is a long distance relationship. She told me they were really bf gf since they never meet each other, but she said she really liked him at the time then the guy disappear when she found out he was flirting with other girls. 6 months after that I met her and got together with her. And this happened. So back to the point 2 weeks before we break up she was texting him, i notice then asked her why she texting him and she said she was helping him with his emotions. These 2 weeks past by i did feel she is getting away further and further then she telling me she was hurting by being together with me when she don't love me anymore, so i let her go. Then 2 weeks later i found out she was texting his long distance ex everyday.

 

From what i'm thinking she was really tired of negatives. Since we fights often the two months before we breakup and she is really addicted to numbing herself. Then she reconnect back with her LD ex maybe she found those old feelings back and she liked it cause it feels good and make her happy then she felt guilty cheating on me so then she bring up not wanting to be together anymore.

 

I'm still trying to identify what was really going on here. I still hoping to get back together with her but not now. She definitely need to go through something with her own.

 

Was wondering does this case considered as a rebound relationship or something else. If so, am i the one or her ex the one is the rebound?

 

Sorry for long story. I'm open with any perspective. Thank You.

JewelD Established Member

JewelD

Posted
Posted

If anyone, the rebound would be you because you came after her ex. I don't think it matters much though. She has made her decision and you should accept it and move on.

  • Author
danielko2015 New Member

danielko2015

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank You for relying. I definitely focusing on growing myself right now. I think both of us just not mature enough. But i don't know if it's a bad thing that i'm still choosing her as my beauty to fight for. But i'm more focusing on pursuing my dream. I think it just depends on her to choose it come with me or not.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

You would be the rebound, not the ex.

 

That doesn't mean she didn't care about you at all. But she's not ready for a commitment if she was texting her ex behind your back. It wasn't to "help him with his emotions." It was for her. She probably was very hurt when he disappeared and now that he's back in touch, she's run back to him (Or as much as one can, when they've never met)

 

She doesn't sound like the most mature individual. Claiming to be in a relationship with some guy she's never met is an indication of that.

Crila16 Established Member

Crila16

Posted
Posted

This girl sounds a little dysfunctional. She seems to gravitate towards unhealthy relationships. Someone that allows someone to use and abuse them, doesn't like themselves very much. Also, if this guy is long distance...what can he honestly give her? They're not together on a daily basis, so in essence, they're not really getting to know each other. It's all fantasy. If they actually end up moving closer together, I highly doubt it will work out.

 

IMO...girls usually don't rebound as hard as guys. I'm a girl, and I know when I (and all my friends) still have feelings for another guy...We can't even date or be with anyone else for a period of time. We need to deal with our emotions, feelings and cry a lot. Guys usually rebound right after a breakup (I know not all, but a lot of them do), instead of dealing with emotions and feelings.

 

This girl sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. If you want her back, ignore her and don't call her. She sounds like the type of girl that likes to be treated that way. Question is...do you really want someone this flaky?

  • Author
danielko2015 New Member

danielko2015

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you guys for helping.

 

I understand she's flaky but because of her past. And I know she really wanted help and be loved. I can't do that now because I think I'll just push her away. Felt like the best thing I can do is just give her space and some how help her indirectly.

 

One thing I wanna ask when we still together she said I'm the first real boyfriend that she ever have. Saying I did things that her exes never do for her. I don't really understand what that means when she can just snip off that easy.

 

I don't know I think she just so caught up with the puppy love feeling.

  • Like 1
Buddhist Established Member

Buddhist

Posted
Posted

I understand she's flaky but because of her past. And I know she really wanted help and be loved. I can't do that now because I think I'll just push her away. Felt like the best thing I can do is just give her space and some how help her indirectly.

 

I don't know I think she just so caught up with the puppy love feeling.

 

Honey it's going to take about 20yrs and a lot more crappy relationships for her to get her stuff together. You can't help her, directly or indirectly. She has to hit the rocks a few more times before she sees the pattern emerging.

  • Like 1
DrReplyInRhymes Established Member

DrReplyInRhymes

Posted
Posted
Thank you guys for helping.

 

I understand she's flaky but because of her past. And I know she really wanted help and be loved. I can't do that now because I think I'll just push her away. Felt like the best thing I can do is just give her space and some how help her indirectly.

 

One thing I wanna ask when we still together she said I'm the first real boyfriend that she ever have. Saying I did things that her exes never do for her. I don't really understand what that means when she can just snip off that easy.

 

I don't know I think she just so caught up with the puppy love feeling.

 

If a puppy took a ****, rolled it in a burrito and then tried to tell me it was soup,

I don't know if I'd like that puppy anymore, it'd certainly throw me for a loop!

This girl cheated on you with her ex, broke it off, and you're broken hearted over her?!

GET YOUR **** TOGETHER, get angry, do something, just stop being a turd!

 

You'll be sad, it sucks, you shared time together.

But soon, you'll meet a new girl, and it'll be stormy weather,

Which means cuddles, and movies, and massages, and more!

Leave this girl behind, let her have him, get to the gym, & get ready to score!

  • 4 weeks later...
  • Author
danielko2015 New Member

danielko2015

Posted
  • Author
Posted

We broke up 2 months ago(She lost feelings). She went back her "ex" (Met from the internet. Long distance, they never met each other. Got 'together' for couple of months then disappear after she found out he flirting with other girls. Don't really know about the guy, all I know she really liked him before.)

 

So now pretty much we are in a phase of giving her space. Then yesterday I drove by somewhere and saw a old man selling roses on the street so happened to buy one of it to help him out a little. Then I just thought of giving it to my ex. When it happens everything was fine nothing awkward. Then after 30 minutes she texted me and said she felt in comfortable with that. I felt like it's not a good thing. Was thinking to go get it back or what should I do here.

 

Thank you for reading.

JewelD Established Member

JewelD

Posted
Posted

She asked you to give her space and you felt it was a good idea to invade her space and give her a flower? Do not go back and get the flower because that's just another excuse to invade her space. Leave her alone.

  • Like 2
PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

Posted
Posted

Why would you want to get flowers to an ex who has no feelings for you and is talking to another guy she does have feelings for?

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted (edited)

She felt uncomfortable because she is someone else's gf and she's wondering why you would give her a rose. Don't go back and get it, just leave it alone or tell her to throw it away. You've been broken up quite a while now and it's time to move on. If you continue to bother this girl you may end up in a row with her bf. Just move on it's not healthy at this point to keep holding out hope.

Edited by stillafool
  • Author
danielko2015 New Member

danielko2015

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Wasn't thinking straight. I'll just leave her alone.

Thank you guys.

  • Like 1
  • Author
danielko2015 New Member

danielko2015

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Actually I got a question.

 

Once in a while we will see each other in a meeting. When she was texting him and I get close to her she'll hide it. She never told me about her got back to him and she don't know that I knew already. So I'm kinda confused why would she hide. Is it because she don't wanna hurt me or something?

JewelD Established Member

JewelD

Posted
Posted
Actually I got a question.

 

Once in a while we will see each other in a meeting. When she was texting him and I get close to her she'll hide it. She never told me about her got back to him and she don't know that I knew already. So I'm kinda confused why would she hide. Is it because she don't wanna hurt me or something?

 

She probably just doesn't want you in her business. I doubt there is anything deeper to it than that.

  • Like 1
  • Author
danielko2015 New Member

danielko2015

Posted
  • Author
Posted
She probably just doesn't want you in her business. I doubt there is anything deeper to it than that.

 

But she don't do that to other people. Why is that?

  • Author
danielko2015 New Member

danielko2015

Posted
  • Author
Posted
She probably just doesn't want you in her business. I doubt there is anything deeper to it than that.

 

When this flower thing happened and I just got blocked from her instagram which my account has nothing. But I'm so confused what's the purpose on doing that?

Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted

No contact.

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

*If you work together, nothing more than basic civil communication about work.

 

Take care.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
But she don't do that to other people. Why is that?

 

Because she knows you are still into her and you are more than likely trying to see who and what she's texting. Don't go around her when she's texting.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
When this flower thing happened and I just got blocked from her instagram which my account has nothing. But I'm so confused what's the purpose on doing that?

 

Because she doesn't want to encourage you in any way. The rose made her think you still want her and she has moved on and doesn't want to upset her boyfriend. She probably told him about the rose.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...