Exchanging 'i love you's', but scared to drop it first..

[srawest]

Hello LS!

 

So of course, a little background first. I am a (23 F) who is dating my (24 M) boyfriend of only over three months now. He is caring, kind, funny, super attractive and an all around gentlemen. Truly different from any guy I have had an association with on dating terms. I really am lucky for this one.

 

We bond very well, go on adventures and do fun activities and just enjoy each others presence.

 

We have known each other for about 10 months but as I stated before, we are only reaching over three months in the relationship. Which is what many people will claim to be the honeymoon phase. And is true. But the more I'm around him, the more I feel myself falling for him. Which leads me to feeling the urge and being ready to tell him my deeper feelings. AKA the 'I love you.'

 

There have been times where it has felt like the perfect moment to do so recently but the words just won't come out of my mouth. My fear is that he won't respond back or feel the same way yet. Or just get totally freaked out.

 

The words have come out of his mouth a few times but during times in a more 'joking' setting. Such as picking on me as a joke then claiming he loves me after as a funny apology. But not in a more romantic and meaningful setting such as what I am looking into.

 

How should I go about this? How do I get over the fear? My heart just wants to burst sometimes by holding it in

[ZayKayWill]

I wouldn't think too much about it honestly. With my first serious girlfriend I was super stubborn about saying those words. One day I knew the time was right though. It just felt right. You'll know when to say it. Trust your instincts.

[preraph]

You shouldn't. If he doesn't feel the same or if he's just not ready for a committed relationship, it could scare him off. He'll say it when he's ready. Remember some sensible people don't say it until they're ready to back it up with commitment of some kind. Because words are just words unless accompanied by actions.

[love lover]

be patient. three months isn't a very long time. as a man, I can tell you that its probably better to wait for him to say it first.

[mikeylo]

More than words , it's the actions that speak love. I could be called old school, but it's better that the guy says it first even though your actions have already told him that you love him.

[RaiderII]

There are two perspectives to consider here:

 

1) If you feel it, just say it. Just get it out there. Life's too short, etc

 

2) It may seem old fashioned and you may be against traditional gender roles, but some people feel that even if you want to say it, it's better to wait and allow the man to take the lead to say it first... no guy is going to be mad if he has to say it first, but some might feel that the opportunity to take the lead has been taken away from them if the girl says it first. Plus, if he doesn't feel ready, it makes it awkward. You know your guy though, and although he's said it 'jokily' a few times, maybe it wasn't a joke, and he feels as though he's broached it and is waiting for you to return it?

 

Personally I think if you're not 100% comfortable for any reason, don't say it yet. Still only a few months in, enjoy this heady phase, where you get butterflies around him and it's threatening to burst from you at any moment.

 

The only time I ever told a guy 'I love you' first was when we were in bed, and it was clear we were both wanting to say it, just waiting for the other. I said it first because he said he had never had it said to him first before. And I knew he felt it, and it was out of his mouth seconds later.

 

No harm in letting him take the lead, and holding back for another few weeks/months, wait and see where he is. I'm not usually a fan of 'playing games' but let him chase you a little while longer. Let him wonder whether or not you feel as deeply as he does. Let him find the courage to tell you properly before you reciprocate.