ErinErinErin Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 CIOC!!! I am so happy to hear that you had an awesome date! When is the next one? Yeah for you! I always appreciated the awesome advice you gave me and I am so happy to hear that everything is going well for you! And your faith in God is so important...I know there have been many time in my life when He has picked me up off the floor and put me back on my feet again! God IS Good!
alphamale Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by ErinErinErin ...I know there have been many time in my life when He has picked me up off the floor and put me back on my feet again! actually ERINERINERIN....that was YOU that did that, not your faith in some omnipotent being who's existence cannot be proven or disproven.
ErinErinErin Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 I love it! I have never had Alpha reply to my posts yet... I am a true LS'er now! Now I have to get you to dis me next! Love You Alpha...smarta*s!
scratch Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale actually ERINERINERIN....that was YOU that did that, not your faith in some omnipotent being who's existence cannot be proven or disproven. Says you! The Invisible Pink Unicorn is great and we all bask in its love! On topic: COC, is it a bit inconsistent to be criticizing your ex for moving on injudiciously, and then to come on here and tell us about how great you feel after one date with a random girl you picked up while running an errand? I applaud your success, but your actions are the same as hers.
clandestinidad Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 I applaud your success, but your actions are the same as hers I agree with that It kinda makes me think that no one WANTED to go out w/ you, or that you were too sad or something to date....and then some random girl comes along, actually says yes, and you suddenly start dating again.... The fact that your ex immediately started dating random people isnt that different from you dating random people now...just means that she wasnt very depressed about the break-up OR that there were random guys that wanted to take her out.... So, I guess my question is: What if this wonderful woman you met and went out with just broke up with someone a short time ago?? Wouldnt she still be the same person?? And would it mean the same thing to you as your ex doing it??? *I had to edit this, b/c I realized it sounded kinda rude...and I dont intend to burst your bubble about the great girl you met. I'm really happy for you that you are moving on, and met someone with the good qualities youre looking for. I think I just wanted to point out that you seem pretty judgemental about your ex and what she does. I know it makes you feel better about yourself to think youre better than her and in Christs love and she's not...and you DO need to feel good about yourself....but not by judging her....thats not what God's all about. Anyway, just ignore what your ex does b/c shes not in your life anymore....and I truly hope that there is some type of a future with this new woman b/c she sounds great!!!
Author ConfusedInOC Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Says you! The Invisible Pink Unicorn is great and we all bask in its love! On topic: COC, is it a bit inconsistent to be criticizing your ex for moving on injudiciously, and then to come on here and tell us about how great you feel after one date with a random girl you picked up while running an errand? I applaud your success, but your actions are the same as hers. Scratch, First off, I didn't pick her up on an errand. She was getting LASIK the same time as me. We caught each other's eye and then after she contacted me, we realized we're both Christian's with a lot of common goals. I have not dated or seen anyone since the breakup. And even if I had, I would not have been "ready" to move forward. My ex, on the other hand, is on her third guy in three months, no break between. I took the time off to get my head screwed back on straight. She's bouncing from guy to guy (and bed to bed). I had one date with a nice girl and I am taking my time. The ex is hopping right into bed with these guys. I'm sure if you understand where my reason for criticizing her comes from, but IMHO, she's fallen far from the path of Christ and is leading a sinful life. ....and she needs help. Professional help. I just hope God can reach her before she makes any further mistakes.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 I agree with that It kinda makes me think that no one WANTED to go out w/ you, or that you were too sad or something to date....and then some random girl comes along, actually says yes, and you suddenly start dating again.... I needed time off to grieve, get over her and fix myself. The random girl came along when I was ready to move on. The fact that your ex immediately started dating random people isnt that different from you dating random people now...just means that she wasnt very depressed about the break-up OR that there were random guys that wanted to take her out.... On the contrary, she jumped from bed to bed with no break between any of the men. Any professional Counselor will tell you that is a "rebound" relationship. Very rarely does any relationship work out where you're bouncing from person to person with no breaks. You need time to evaluate what it is you really want. She's acting on hormones, not common sense. So, I guess my question is: What if this wonderful woman you met and went out with just broke up with someone a short time ago?? Wouldnt she still be the same person?? And would it mean the same thing to you as your ex doing it??? She divorced a year ago and has not dated anyone since. She too needed recovery time. *I had to edit this, b/c I realized it sounded kinda rude...and I dont intend to burst your bubble about the great girl you met. I'm really happy for you that you are moving on, and met someone with the good qualities youre looking for. I think I just wanted to point out that you seem pretty judgemental about your ex and what she does. I know it makes you feel better about yourself to think youre better than her and in Christs love and she's not...and you DO need to feel good about yourself....but not by judging her....thats not what God's all about. Anyway, just ignore what your ex does b/c shes not in your life anymore....and I truly hope that there is some type of a future with this new woman b/c she sounds great!!! Thanks. I am trying to show that my ex has taken the road MOST traveled recently (which is the one that leads away from Christ). I am not saying I am better than her. I do believe that anyone, not just her or I, needs to take a good long break from relationship to relationship to rest, recover and re-evaluate our criteria for a significant other.
BrotherAaron Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Don't be hatin that he went datin, he found himself a sweet girl and you cry "You're no different from your ex!" Well, whats your point? I don't get it. I blame gender loyalty. Someone's always got to stick up for the girl
clandestinidad Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Actually dear brother Aaron, a few of us just think he's being hypocritical (and I'm pretty sure the other people who wrote about it are MEN)....its horrible for his ex to date around (and how does he REALLY know what she does with her time anyway...besides, why does he even care?!) with "random" people, but when he finds a RANDOM person and goes out w/ her its okay And I fully know what he's trying to say about her apparently being a slut....and for him to sit here and type AAALLLL about God and stuff, and then trash on someone like that is NOT a 'Godly' attitude to have.....its hypocritical and condescending I get the impression he's saying that its okay for HIM to date a random person b/c he took some time off and reconnected w/ God or something, but the ex is a trashy slut b/c she didnt do that, and he keeps sounding like he's so much better than her I'd be saying the exact same thing if a female was going on and on about God and trying to disciple everyone, while being holier than thou condescending and judgemental about her ex....its hypocritical
crazy_grl Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Congrats on the date and everything going well, OC. You seem like a great guy, and if it works out, she'll be lucky to have you in her life. Originally posted by kat23 Actually dear brother Aaron, a few of us just think he's being hypocritical (and I'm pretty sure the other people who wrote about it are MEN)....its horrible for his ex to date around (and how does he REALLY know what she does with her time anyway...besides, why does he even care?!) with "random" people, but when he finds a RANDOM person and goes out w/ her its okay And I fully know what he's trying to say about her apparently being a slut....and for him to sit here and type AAALLLL about God and stuff, and then trash on someone like that is NOT a 'Godly' attitude to have.....its hypocritical and condescending I get the impression he's saying that its okay for HIM to date a random person b/c he took some time off and reconnected w/ God or something, but the ex is a trashy slut b/c she didnt do that, and he keeps sounding like he's so much better than her I'd be saying the exact same thing if a female was going on and on about God and trying to disciple everyone, while being holier than thou condescending and judgemental about her ex....its hypocritical I never saw OC call his ex a slut or trashy. You're putting those words into his mouth, and it seems like you're doing it just so that you can have something to bash him for. His original main point wasn't that she was sleeping around, but that she is running from guy to guy without knowing where she's going. It was her lack of direction. To me, he seems more sympathetic and sorry for her than judgemental. God and Christ aside, OC is right about her behavior being negative. Jumping from guy to guy or woman to woman without taking time to heal means you carry over the baggage from the last relationship into the new one. And as you keep going, the baggage just compounds until you end up seriously screwed up. It's not about being a slut. It's about not knowing where you want to go and, through recklessness, ending up somewhere you never wanted to be. And I think OC is a better judge of whether his ex is doing that than you are, since you've never met her. If he'd just said that and never brought God or religion into it, I wonder if you'd still be jumping all over him like that.
clandestinidad Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 I never saw OC call his ex a slut or trashy. You're putting those words into his mouth Actually, he said these things: she jumped from bed to bed with no break between any of the men sounds like a slut comment to me She's acting on hormones, not common sense another one My ex, on the other hand, is on her third guy in three months, no break between. I took the time off to get my head screwed back on straight. She's bouncing from guy to guy (and bed to bed). I had one date with a nice girl and I am taking my time. The ex is hopping right into bed with these guys. yet, again...and heres where we get the comparison b/n Himself (so good and christian) and her (horrible dirty sinner) she's fallen far from the path of Christ and is leading a sinful life sounds awfully judgemental...besides the fact that EVERYone leads a sinful life My ex, on the other hand, is bouncing around from guy to guy yep...thats ANOTHER time it was said!!! Those sound a lot like "she's a slut" comments to me!! Anyway, I fully understand what he's saying about taking time to heal and re-evaluate yourself and learn who you are and all that stuff!! I completely agree with all that.....I was just trying to point out that he sounds very condescending about his faith, and how she apparently doesnt have any b/c of her "sinful life"....if you are a Christian, youve learned that everyone is a sinner, and that we are to embrace and love and pray etc etc....true Christians shouldnt gossip about how much sinning someone else is doing, and shouldnt judge how close or far they are from God while talking about how close to him YOU are.... It just really ircked me that all this Praise God and God is sooo good etc etc was surrounded by comments about how horrible the ex is, and how good he is compared to her b/c he took some time to learn and get closer to God, and she obviously hasnt!! so yes, if he hadnt mentioned AALLL that stuff about himself and God, then I wouldnt be bothered by this whole thread...then he wouldnt be coming across as a hypocrite
Author ConfusedInOC Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 sounds like a slut comment to me You're the one calling her a slut, Kat. I am merely giving information, not judging. yet, again...and heres where we get the comparison b/n Himself (so good and christian) and her (horrible dirty sinner) sounds awfully judgemental...besides the fact that EVERYone leads a sinful life See, where you don't understand is she is still a sister in Christ and I do have a duty (as does any Chrstian) to help each other walk the narrow path. If her behavior is unbecoming of a Christian, you do what you can to help them understand the path they are on. Those sound a lot like "she's a slut" comments to me!! Mmm, more like you putting words in my mouth or spinning the comments into whatever shape fits your argument. You're judging my comments then making your own assumptions. Anyway, I fully understand what he's saying about taking time to heal and re-evaluate yourself and learn who you are and all that stuff!! I completely agree with all that.....I was just trying to point out that he sounds very condescending about his faith, and how she apparently doesnt have any b/c of her "sinful life"....if you are a Christian, youve learned that everyone is a sinner, and that we are to embrace and love and pray etc etc....true Christians shouldnt gossip about how much sinning someone else is doing, and shouldnt judge how close or far they are from God while talking about how close to him YOU are.... You lead by example and when someone strays the path, you do what you can to help them. It just really ircked me that all this Praise God and God is sooo good etc etc was surrounded by comments about how horrible the ex is, and how good he is compared to her b/c he took some time to learn and get closer to God, and she obviously hasnt!! This is my own evaluation. I've never confronted her about her behavior. That's between her and God. Her behavior is an example of someone who hasn't taken the time to heal between relationships. It's a pretty good pattern of someone with issues that needs help. I care about her well being and that is hard to do without having some judement as to what is right or wrong. I am not the final judge of her, God is. The only thing I can do is try and help and right now she's getting it from her sister (help to the right path). I'm out of the loop unless she talks to me. so yes, if he hadnt mentioned AALLL that stuff about himself and God, then I wouldnt be bothered by this whole thread...then he wouldnt be coming across as a hypocrite You judged her behavior, I merely reported it. BrotherAaron
Author ConfusedInOC Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by Star Gazer Have you read any of his other bajillion threads about his ex?? He's always comparing his actions to hers, and putting her's down whereas he's making himself sound all holy and saved. He never, ever fails to bring God into the equation, so he's forever going to be a hypocrite until he stops. More comedy Show me the bajillion threads. I want you to count them all. If you can't, then you need to take that comment back. Secondly, what you don't understand is the Ex constantly judged MY behavior and told me how I wasn't living the right Christian life. Then she goes and bevaves this way. So, I think I have some right to speak about her behavior. You haven't the entire story, so to call me a hypocrite wouldn't exactly be a statement of truth as it would be you're own "judgement" and "opinion."
crazy_grl Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 Those sound a lot like "she's a slut" comments to me!! But that's your own interpretation, not what he said. I was just trying to point out that he sounds very condescending about his faith, and how she apparently doesnt have any b/c of her "sinful life" So? If she's acting in sinful ways, doesn't have any faith, and he says so, why does it matter? If you're a Hindu or Atheist and I say that you're sinning against the Christian God, why would you care? If you're Christian and sinning against the God you believe in, it's hypocritical to deny it and complain when someone points it out. How is it hypocritical to make an observation that someone else isn't leading the same life or going the same path you are? Just because you feel that your beliefs and your way of life are right doesn't mean you think you're better than the other person. In fact, OC said exactly, " I am not saying I am better than her." true Christians shouldnt gossip about how much sinning someone else is doing, and shouldnt judge how close or far they are from God while talking about how close to him YOU are.... I agree with that. Christians shouldn't say to each other, "I'm closer to God than you are. I'm going to heaven and you're not." But he was only commenting about her behavior, which is not very Christian-like (and it doesn't have to be if she's not Christian). The closest thing he said to judging was, "she's fallen far from the path of Christ and is leading a sinful life." If she's sleeping with lots of guys, then that's just a factual statement.
clandestinidad Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Okay, well since you said that fellow believers are supposed to help and guide each other, you shouldnt have such a problem with me helping/guiding you on what I see you doing....gossiping and condescendingly judging her (probably to make yourself feel better) and comparing your holy self to her sinning self So lets see what you wrote here: she is still a sister in Christ and I do have a duty (as does any Chrstian) to help each other walk the narrow path. If her behavior is unbecoming of a Christian, you do what you can to help them understand the path they are on. Followed by: you lead by example and when someone strays the path, you do what you can to help them And then we discover: This is my own evaluation. I've never confronted her about her behavior. That's between her and God and: I'm out of the loop unless she talks to me So, why sit and gossip about her to all of us?! And tell us, and probably everyone else you talk to, how far she is from God and how much she's sleeping around with numerous men (and youre going to try to tell us that youre not incinuating she's a slut, yeah right!)....all the while youve been the good christian boy and are muuuch better than her! It seems that from what you said, you should be doing you 'duty' and helping HER, not gossiping about her You cant fool me...I know what youre doing...I've seen it before.....Christians who love to compare themselves to "lesser" Christians, or non-christians even, to make themselves feel wonderful...as if God thinks more highly of you than her. I've also seen the other thing youre doing....using "prayer" and "helping someone" and "merely giving information" as a disguise for gossiping about how big of a sinner they are...there is a huge difference
clandestinidad Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 And as soon as I have a moment tonight, I will post an important scripture from Romans, I believe, for you to read
crazy_grl Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 You cant fool me...I know what youre doing...I've seen it before.....Christians who love to compare themselves to "lesser" Christians, or non-christians even, to make themselves feel wonderful...as if God thinks more highly of you than her. I've also seen the other thing youre doing....using "prayer" and "helping someone" and "merely giving information" as a disguise for gossiping about how big of a sinner they are...there is a huge difference I find it interesting that you're telling him not to be judgemental while being quite judgemental toward him at the same time. You're telling him what he's doing despite what he says. There's absolutely no way you can know those things about him, yet you judge him to be just like all those "bad Christians" you've met. Unlike OC who never used a name or insult when referring to his ex, you've called him names like hypocrite.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 You cant fool me...I know what youre doing...I've seen it before.....Christians who love to compare themselves to "lesser" Christians, or non-christians even, to make themselves feel wonderful... Not to be critical but the way I see it OC has finally started to move on and posted a status update on his situation and all you have done is rip him to shreds. Instead of being critical of him why not just wish him well.. That is after all why he is here.. I'm sure he didn't post to be nailed
clandestinidad Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Since you like to read self-help books, maybe this one would be good: http://www.fischtank.com/book/12step.cfm Passage from Luke18: The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector 9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' 13 "But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' 14 "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." I am only saying all of this b/c so many of OC's posts and comments include God, Christianity, and how horrible and sinful his ex is (and I think I have quoted him enough at this point)....it is sad and irritating to me to see someone acting like he does. I am only trying help him on the straight and narrow path And as I said earlier, I am very happy that you met a wonderful person who has the same goals, values, beliefs, and spirit. These people are hard to find, and I know you've been learning a lot lately!! I am proud of you for taking all that time, and I am glad that youre ready to try again. I wish you all of the best with her!
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 I am only saying all of this b/c so many of OC's posts and comments include God, Christianity, and how horrible and sinful his ex is (and I think I have quoted him enough at this point)....it is sad and irritating to me to see someone acting like he does. I am only trying help him on the straight and narrow path Sometimes you just have to look past some things in order to help someone. You are right that he comments alot about his faith and I have noticed it as well but he posted in a dating section about his date.. Just look past it ...
Author ConfusedInOC Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 Okay, well since you said that fellow believers are supposed to help and guide each other, you shouldnt have such a problem with me helping/guiding you on what I see you doing....gossiping and condescendingly judging her (probably to make yourself feel better) and comparing your holy self to her sinning self The problem is you are doing to me what you say I am doing to her. Judging. I posted about a date and being happy and yes, it's helping me break free from the Ex. It's logical for me to harbor some resentment for what happened but two are required to come together or break up, so I accept my faults and problems and worked at fixing them. You seem to care more about what I see my ex doing and my comments than anything else. Let it go. So, why sit and gossip about her to all of us?! Venting is a release. Can't you understand that? And tell us, and probably everyone else you talk to, how far she is from God and how much she's sleeping around with numerous men (and youre going to try to tell us that youre not incinuating she's a slut, yeah right!)....all the while youve been the good christian boy and are muuuch better than her! It seems that from what you said, you should be doing you 'duty' and helping HER, not gossiping about her I repented my promiscuity and asked for forgiveness to I will abstain until marriage. You cant fool me...I know what youre doing...I've seen it before.....Christians who love to compare themselves to "lesser" Christians, or non-christians even, to make themselves feel wonderful...as if God thinks more highly of you than her. I've also seen the other thing youre doing....using "prayer" and "helping someone" and "merely giving information" as a disguise for gossiping about how big of a sinner they are...there is a huge difference To some extent you might be right. She's been a Christian all her life, me only 9 months. I'm still learning the straight and narrow path. My spiritual partner left me to go sin. It's no wonder I am having a hard time with logic in that....
Author ConfusedInOC Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall Not to be critical but the way I see it OC has finally started to move on and posted a status update on his situation and all you have done is rip him to shreds. Instead of being critical of him why not just wish him well.. That is after all why he is here.. I'm sure he didn't post to be nailed Amen.
blue16 Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 it's obvious CioC isn't completely over his ex yet, but theres nothing wrong with that and he's doing much better then before. Dating a new girl now a few months after the breakup will only help the healing process.
Swamp Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 hahahahahahhahahahaha Christian people provide nothing but pure entertainment. Yeah, God is out there planning your dates while people starve in Kenya. Look man, Jesus was a nice guy, but SHUT UP. I've been there. I left my ministries for this. It doesn't exist. Leave the box. Happiness exists outside of this box.
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