Gentlemanly Posted September 24, 2016 Posted September 24, 2016 I went on a date with this girl. We both hit it off really well. She works at the gym I go to. I have no complaints about the date. We both are still texting each other. But I have a not so good feeling. Like I shouldn't continue with this girl. I really want to give her a chance before making a hasty decision. I did kiss her after our date. She's not the type I would go for but she asked for my number and on a date so I thought I would give her a chance. From what I learned from the first date she's a good girl. Outgoing, smart, athletic, cute, awkward but it's cute. I can't but help but get a bad feeling. Like the feeling that I am doing something I shouldn't. I know I should listen to it but I would like some feedback on my predicament. I will note that I do care what other people think so I'm afraid of not getting the approval from my family. I think I could do better in the looks department but her personality is great! I think me and her have potentional but then there's that feeling that's nawing on me. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 24, 2016 Posted September 24, 2016 I went on a date with this girl. We both hit it off really well. She works at the gym I go to. I have no complaints about the date. We both are still texting each other. But I have a not so good feeling. Like I shouldn't continue with this girl. I really want to give her a chance before making a hasty decision. I did kiss her after our date. She's not the type I would go for but she asked for my number and on a date so I thought I would give her a chance. From what I learned from the first date she's a good girl. Outgoing, smart, athletic, cute, awkward but it's cute. I can't but help but get a bad feeling. Like the feeling that I am doing something I shouldn't. I know I should listen to it but I would like some feedback on my predicament. I will note that I do care what other people think so I'm afraid of not getting the approval from my family. I think I could do better in the looks department but her personality is great! I think me and her have potentional but then there's that feeling that's nawing on me. That "feeling" is not a gnawing uncertainty. YOU KNOW WHY you have doubts. SHE'S NOT YOUR TYPE. You said it yourself. The only reason why you are dating her is b/c SHE asked YOU. YOU didn't ask HER. Give her a chance to win you over? BUT, you don't find her attractive, or not as attractive as you would like. When you do find someone more attractive, you'll find a reason to dump this girl. I would do the friendship thing and leave her be. Please don't have sex with her. 2
smackie9 Posted September 24, 2016 Posted September 24, 2016 If you have a caring family, as long as you are happy, they will be happy for you. I don't know what happened to you in your life to make you have this anxiety, but maybe you should take a look as why you feel this way. Resolving this may give you more confidence about your life choices. 2
Ami1uwant Posted September 24, 2016 Posted September 24, 2016 Can understand some doubts because she isn't your type or you have some differences in background. That can happen. What I'm not sure on here is why do you think your family won't approve?? Her race, religion, you cone from a wealthy family and she's from the other side of the tracks??? I always say if she is a decent person give her a couple of dates and see what happens.
Sunkissedpatio Posted September 24, 2016 Posted September 24, 2016 When you make decisions based on what others are going to think you stop being in control of your own life. People will look at the a-typical girl your a dating and say "wow she's not what he usually goes for" and then go back to their lives. People will look at the typical girl you are dating and say "wow she's his type" and then go back to their lives. The common denominator in both scenarios is that after they have their "first impression say behind your back" they go back to living their lives and truly not giving a crap either way. Family considerations are a different story. But everyone else shouldn't matter. That's how we are as people because while we have opinions, other people's decisions don't really affect our lives so we really don't care either way. Build your self confidence and stop caring so much about what others think because you can't please everyone and you'll never be happy that way.
katiegrl Posted September 24, 2016 Posted September 24, 2016 That "feeling" is not a gnawing uncertainty. YOU KNOW WHY you have doubts. SHE'S NOT YOUR TYPE. You said it yourself. The only reason why you are dating her is b/c SHE asked YOU. YOU didn't ask HER. Give her a chance to win you over? BUT, you don't find her attractive, or not as attractive as you would like. When you do find someone more attractive, you'll find a reason to dump this girl. I would do the friendship thing and leave her be. Please don't have sex with her. I agree and to add... This is precisely the argument why not a great idea for women to ask men out FIRST. The man will happily go along even when he is not all that into it, or her. OP I applaud you in a way for at least considering that what you are doing is wrong. Do the right thing and end this now .... stringing a woman along knowing you are not "feeling it" is completely unfair ... to her and yourself. 1
Shining One Posted September 25, 2016 Posted September 25, 2016 This is precisely the argument why not a great idea for women to ask men out FIRST. The man will happily go along even when he is not all that into it, or her.This happens to men too, so it's not a good reason for women to not ask men out first. I've been on quite a few dates with women who were not into me. 1
katiegrl Posted September 25, 2016 Posted September 25, 2016 (edited) This happens to men too, so it's not a good reason for women to not ask men out first. I've been on quite a few dates with women who were not into me. Okay but did they continue to date you, have sex with you knowing full well they were not into you? This is the chance women take... because many men WILL and do string them along.... knowing they are not into them. If women do do this Shining, then fair enough.... I just don't know any. Sure a man may ask a woman out who either during the date or after, realizes she is not into him. But she won't continue dating him, having sex with him and misleading him. If she does, it is very very rare imho! I could be wrong! Edited September 25, 2016 by katiegrl
Shining One Posted September 25, 2016 Posted September 25, 2016 Okay but did they continue to date you, have sex with you knowing full well they were not into you? This is the chance women take... because many men WILL and do string them along.... knowing they are not into them. If women do do this Shining, then fair enough.... I just don't know any. Sure a man may ask a woman out who either during the date or after, realizes she is not into him. But she won't continue dating him, having sex with him and misleading him. If she does, it is very very rare imho! I could be wrong!Yes, they continued to date me, but they did not have sex with me.
katiegrl Posted September 25, 2016 Posted September 25, 2016 (edited) Yes, they continued to date me, but they did not have sex with me. Well I suppose this supports the argument why men often insist on having sex sooner rather than later. To weed out the ones who aren't interested ... because as you just attested to, many women will continue to date a guy, for attention, a night out, or whatevs, knowing she is not into him. I am probably in the minority (among women) but I don't blame the men for weeding women out in this way. As I believe when a woman IS truly attracted and into a man, she *will* want to have sex, sooner rather than later. Imo when women say "I am not ready" what they really mean is "I am not feeling it." Again my opinion! Edited September 25, 2016 by katiegrl 1
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