spiderowl Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 The guy is completely unfair to blame you for how he is feeling. Do not fall for this? It is a form of emotional manipulation. He won't acknowledge a relationship with you. He is not worth your care and attention. Listen to your gut feelings - if you are feeling hurt, upset, accused, ask yourself why someone would want to make you feel like that. Don't ask yourself what you have done to cause him to treat you like that.
Author Riverside12 Posted September 26, 2016 Author Posted September 26, 2016 Thank u all for your support. I was feeling guilty... Even if he had his reasons for ending it(which in my opinion were not fair), it s the way he did it that makes me sad. I think there should be a good way even when u break up with someone, it says a lot about u as a person, giving that someone some kind of closure... To put 3 minutes in a break up just to inform the other person it s over without letting her talk about things or without having a talk about how to make it work instead of ending it it s just bs. Makes me feel as i didn t even deserve the effort. I am NC since yesterday. He replied about how his grandma is feeling but i didn t say anything else. There was nothing to reply to, since i don t even understand what he said. Now i have to go to work and be cool... "Yay"
ExpatInItaly Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 Just be professional when you see him. A "hey" or "goodbye" and that's it.
Author Riverside12 Posted September 26, 2016 Author Posted September 26, 2016 I saw him, i just said hi and smiled and i left after finishing my cig. There were other people too. I didn t look at thim, he was looking at me...
preraph Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 Thanks. I ve been thinking about this all weekend... and tomorrow i have to go to work and see him. Do i act normal? Friendly as i was before we were together? Ignore him completelly? Just say "hi" and "bye"? I don t know. I never dated people from school/uni/work before. Do not act friendly. Do not talk to him except when you have to about work. Just be polite and otherwise leave him alone.
preraph Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 Thank u all for your support. I was feeling guilty... Even if he had his reasons for ending it(which in my opinion were not fair), it s the way he did it that makes me sad. I think there should be a good way even when u break up with someone, it says a lot about u as a person, giving that someone some kind of closure... To put 3 minutes in a break up just to inform the other person it s over without letting her talk about things or without having a talk about how to make it work instead of ending it it s just bs. Makes me feel as i didn t even deserve the effort. I am NC since yesterday. He replied about how his grandma is feeling but i didn t say anything else. There was nothing to reply to, since i don t even understand what he said. Now i have to go to work and be cool... "Yay" You really don't understand depression. He does not have the mental capacity to deal with just himself right now. He CAN'T handle this. He's in turmoil and struggling to survive and keep working. You keep making this about you. He's looking at you because he just wants this to be over so he can get that bit of stress off his shoulders.
aloneinaz Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 He does not have the mental capacity to deal with just himself right now. He CAN'T handle this. He's in turmoil and struggling to survive and keep working. You keep making this about you. He's looking at you because he just wants this to be over so he can get that bit of stress off his shoulders. This highlighted area is on point. People battling depression and anxiety disorders see others as stressors in their lives. That's why they withdrawal and hide at home, trying to work through it. I had some MAJOR stress and was dating a GF that I wasn't head over heals with. Having to spend time with her stressed me out. I finally broke up with her. I'll NEVER forget HOW MUCH BETTER I felt driving home, having that load of bricks off my shoulders. 1
preraph Posted September 26, 2016 Posted September 26, 2016 This highlighted area is on point. People battling depression and anxiety disorders see others as stressors in their lives. That's why they withdrawal and hide at home, trying to work through it. I had some MAJOR stress and was dating a GF that I wasn't head over heals with. Having to spend time with her stressed me out. I finally broke up with her. I'll NEVER forget HOW MUCH BETTER I felt driving home, having that load of bricks off my shoulders. You made me remember that depression played a part in one of my breakups. I never thought of it that way, but when he got divorced and insisted we give it a try after being friends, my heart was not in it. I was really depressed but functioning. I tried to talk him into dating other women. I was fresh off a traumatic breakup and I did not have a quick recovery, though I kept my social life going because I'd learn it was better to do that after the last hard breakup. He was gone most of the time work traveling anyway or it would have probably imploded sooner, but finally there was the straw that broke the camel's back. I called him on it and we broke up. I told him to get his stuff and go. I moved not too long after that and what you said about feeling relieved reminded me I actually wrote a poem about how relieved I was. Two actually. I mean, I didn't feel anything other than relief that time, just having one less thing to think about and monitor or whatever. Not that I didn't miss him as a friend, but I should have never agreed to trying dating him with both of us in a state of flux and me with a lot of depression still to deal with.
Author Riverside12 Posted September 27, 2016 Author Posted September 27, 2016 So, it s not me... It s weird to see him around everyday though and treat him like a stranger
NopeNah Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 So, it s not me... It s weird to see him around everyday though and treat him like a stranger Eventually,once you 'let go', he'll just be another coworker. Just keep doing what you're doing.
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