dkwok94 Posted September 24, 2016 Posted September 24, 2016 (edited) Hi guys, I am new here as I never really had many dating questions. I've really only ever dated one girl in my life in high school during senior year. Nothing really special happened in that, we were both awkward as hell and we didn't even ever kiss... In college, I think I may have studied way too hard that that got in the way of me not even trying to find anyone. But here I am now at the age of 22 trying to catch up with the majority of my peers in this world. I think I have come a long way from my awkward ass high school years though...haha! I used to be waaayyy worse socially than I am now. So I graduated from university in May. I was fortunate enough to have been a TA during my senior year. Now, there was this girl that always went to my office hours for help and I thought she was pretty. She had a boyfriend at the time, but they broke up before the past summer, so she is single now. She is a junior in college and I am in my first few months of working full time. The university she goes to and where I went to is about 3.5 hours away from where I currently live. Recently, I went back recruiting at a career fair there and she seemed really happy to see me and it was kind of like a spark. She came to talk with me at the career fair, she seemed eager to go to a bar with me, and the next day, she went to the grocery store and wanted me to come along (which I did, so I saw her 3 times that weekend). We've texted and snapchatted quite a bit since I went back home (almost every day) and we always enjoy each other's company even though we aren't physically next to each other. In these texts, we both act silly sometimes and talk about more serious things at other times, trying to get to know each other better. We have this thing where we occasionally share experiences in life that taught us important lessons about life...and then we also share drunk stories. She always seems interested in what I have to say. I also tease her quite a lot and she goes with the flow and teases me right back. Sometimes I initiate, sometimes she does. I also help her with her homework sometimes. I really want to ask her out next time I am up at the university (probably within the next month or so), but I am not even sure if she feels the same way since we've mostly only talked through text and snapchat since then (she told me she always preferred texting over Facetime, but I haven't tried asking her to Facetime yet). Is she giving out good signs? I know it is hard to tell via text, but I don't know. Something I've learned is that the signals given out to show interest really depend on the girl. Also, my worry is that she may only see me as a friend. But in the great case that she does want more, I am afraid it might not work out since she still has two years in college and I work full time. I mean, over weekends, I can always drive up and visit her, but I have never had a relationship like this before. I would probably need some advice about how to go about keeping a relationship like this alive if I end up feeling like I should ask her out. I am literally completely lost as to how I should proceed with this. And also, how do I avoid friendzoning? Texting every day seems to be treading on dangerous ground...Since we're only two years apart, it would be so much easier if she was out of college and working too. Haha, but yea, I would love any advice or thoughts! I'd appreciate it immensely! Edited September 24, 2016 by dkwok94
scubasteve Posted September 24, 2016 Posted September 24, 2016 Number 1 rule is there is so such thing has the so called friend zoned.... you gotta tell yourself that. Number 2 you didn't tell us what she did with you when you guys hanged out. Did she touch you, did she flirt with you, etc Maybe you could try to call her or face time. I hardly believe she likes to text cause that will get old and stale fast I think it's time to be a man and a skinny her out on a date and see how comfortable she's around you
Erik30 Posted September 24, 2016 Posted September 24, 2016 I think texting too much can become a problem if you don't see her that often in R.L. You risk turning into her bff who she tells everything, or she'll create an image of you in her head which you can't live up to. Just make sure she knows you're romantically interested. Compliment her on her looks, tease her (you're already doing that so that's good)... stuff like that. Also next time you're seeing her make clear it's intended as a date, not just friends hanging out. I would probably avoid going shopping with her again, especially since you're worried about ending up in the friendzone.
Recommended Posts