Kids of Divorce

[tiki]

Skeered raised a valid point. Alpha, you know how happy I am now with my H. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't imagine still being married to my ex. I was cheating on him for God's sake...how fair is that to him??!

[VirginiaBob]

"I was cheating on him for God's sake"

 

I highly doubt that your cheating benefited God in any way.

[Skeered]

Originally posted by VirginiaBob

"I was cheating on him for God's sake"

 

I highly doubt that your cheating benefited God in any way.

 

that was good...LMAO

[tiki]

SNORT. I know. I noticed it when I was writing it. But you got my point.

 

I should've left. No reason for the marriage anymo.

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

Maybe a divorce can help a kid get out of a horrible life with a tyrant of a father. Move in with his mother. She gets remarried to a wonderful man who treats the kids like his own. Would the kid still be screwed up? Is the damage reversible?

[alphamale]

Originally posted by morrigan

If two people can amicably divorce, put their children first, and each independently be a good parent, the kids have a better chance.

Right MORRIGAN....and the above happens maybe 2% of the time?

[VirginiaBob]

alpha, even this first part of her statement:

 

"If two people can amicably divorce"

 

happens maybe 2% of the time.

[Skeered]

I think the amicably divorce is not likely..just because usually the reason (I personally have noticed) for divorce is one person couldn't be mature, couldn't handle being with only one person or whatever it's not usually divorce because we just don't like eachother anymore typically it's ugly...(NOT ALWAYS)

 

But I think that if the divorced couple takes time to reevaluate themselves after a divorce learn from their mistakes they made while married their chances of getting into a very healthy and good relationship afterwards is great and more likely...people that divorce and immediately pop into another serious relationship without self evaluating first can carry the problems from one relationship to the next...which would cause turmoil everywhere...

[Chris777]

The biggest problem is with divorce, being like the changing of an outfit.

Along with the problem, of many divorces being over, issues, that are trivial at best.

 

Granted a lot of abuse takes place, and it should be dealt with.

 

But people Rarely think of the children other than an after thought, the children are seen as complemantary to the marrage, rather than at its core.

 

I myself Got involved with my now ex wife, after finding out her 1st hubby was abusing her.

Now of course hearing all the "kids shouldnt see that sort of thing, and would be better off if parents divorced" Garbage, I helped pursuade her into the divorce.

 

Not concerned about her children, whom I had not met

not concerned about her hubby agreeing to counceling to preserve the marrage,

not concerned about any children that I might (and did) produce

and most definitely not concerned with the possibility (and eventuality) that my own marrage to her might fail.

 

In short, I was selfish

 

we married, and out daughter was born, and almost 2 years later she up and decided she didnt want to be married anymore.

I was then found to have the shoe on the other foot.

I begged

I pleaded,

I then played along, thinking she might change her mind, given space,

then she moved a new boyfriend in.

 

now its 2 or 3 (that I know of) boyfriends later, and both myself, and her 1st hubby are raising her children.

Apparently I wasn't dramatic enough (IE , I did not beat, rape, or demean her), and as for the 1st hubby I still dont know what to believe about him, as her current bf does all of the above.

 

I do see how hard it has been on my daughter, and how we all need to be a lot less reckless, with whom we get ourselves involved with. as I had the commitment, my ex obviously didn't.

 

Now I have to hear some pretty serious situations, to even remotely, consider, advising anyone to divorce, especially with kids involved.

 

and as for fighting, me any my mom got into a pretty bad one a few years back, and afterwards I was discussing it with my father, and he I guess fed up with the situation, blurted out "what do you want me to do divorve her, with your sister still in elementary school?"

 

I was shocked, but the more I think about it, the more noble it becomes. My sister is clueless, as was i.

And to boot, they do seem to be closer now than then, I assume they talked things out, and actually WORKED on the marrage, rather than throwing their hands up, and running like most do.

 

Just think of the replies a thread, about divorcing ones children, siblings, or parents would get?

We do all have to live here together, as best we can, and if people can't take the time to even try to work on their own marrage, why in the heck do they expect their kids to? just keep passing the buck till someone pays the tab I guess