Jump to content

When you met someone else, and you won't tell...

Shanex

By Shanex
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Shanex Established Member

Shanex

Posted
Posted

It's a broader relationship/breaking up question but I felt like this didn't belong in the ''breaking up'' forum so I am putting this here.

 

Simple example: You are in a steady (monogamous) relationship and everything seems to be going well. And.. you eventually met someone else. Your feelings for your SO fades, no matter how long you've been with the person. You are falling for someone else.

 

This has happened to almost everyone at a point of our lives but my question is.. why is the reason that sometimes you are NOT going to tell your partner that you met someone and you feelings for her/him subsided? Is it selfish? Is it immature?

 

I'm asking because this happened to me some years ago. And tell you what, the woman was mid-30s, and I thought she was a 'grown-up'. In my story I feel like she didn't want to tell me because I knew the person she fell for, and even though she assumed I was an imbecile who would never find out. Modern technology made that I did. She underestimated me I guess.

 

Anyway: I think it is best to tell and be upfront about it, especially after a LTR, do you think it steams from immaturity, selfishness or (more unlikely) because you don't want to hurt the other person?

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted (edited)

Ya know,

 

I have yet to hear of a happy break up.

 

I hate when people use the excuse that the dumpee will get hurt for not coming clean.

 

Look, a fade, ghosting, picking fights to make them break up with you are just down right worst.

 

I mean, it's gonna hurt either way. But worst is prolonging the suffering of the dumpee and/or messing with their head when trying to break up with them.

 

P.S. And, the sooner you come clean, the better. Cuz, knowing that the whole time he was with her, but didn't tell you is worst. You start feeling that you can't trust guys, cuz just like the last guy - they're capable of seeing two people at the same time and waiting forever to finally tell you. Worst, if they don't/didn't tell you and break up with you for another reason (i.e. ghosting) then you find out they were with someone else the whole time while seeing you. :(

Edited by Gloria25
  • Like 4
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...