Boyfriend is being a big baby about being sick.

[Shining One]

I'm one of the "if I'm sick, leave me alone" people. It took a while for my girlfriend to learn this because she is an "if I'm sick, take care of me" person. We've come to an understanding now. When she's sick, I'm there for her. When I'm sick, she's not there for me. Everyone wins.

[kendahke]

Sometimes it is difficult to sympathize with people when they are sick because you aren't experiencing the symptoms, only the inconvenience.

 

Non sequitur. He wasn't injured nor was he delirious from running a +102 fever. Those are extremely good reasons to jump into action in the middle of the night.

 

He's had a cold which has turned into a sinus infection.

 

I get sinus infections every year. Mine don't blow up like that overnight. For it to get to the point where thick, yellow mucus is coming out, you've been walking around with that for at least 4 days, time to go buy what you'd think you needed--and at a reasonable hour.

 

The symptoms with this guy weren't at the point where he couldn't get up, put on some sweats, go to the 24 hour CVS and pick up what he felt he needed. I"m quite sure everyone here would agree that had he been at that point, OP would be completely in the wrong.

[Lois_Griffin]

My boyfriend has a mild cold. He is acting like he is on death's door. I was sympathetic, but, in my opinion, he has veered into crazy town.

 

Last night, my boyfriend mentioned that he had a tickly throat and a stuffy nose. He felt well enough to go to the gym and get drinks with a friend. However, when I saw him later he was DYING. He was moaning, appeared to have trouble breathing, was rolling around in bed and generally acting as if he was on death's door. i honestly thought he needed to go to the emergency room until I discovered that all of this moaning and carrying on was the result of a stuffy nose and a sore throat. Yes, my man child has a minor cold. He wasn't having an asthma attack or appendicitis or even the flu. He kept me up all night moaning and rolling around the bed and demanded I get him medicine at 1 am and take care of him. He was freaking out bc yellow mucus was coming out of his nose. Finally I did go out and get him stuff to shut him up so that I could sleep. (I needed to be at work at 630 this morning.)

 

After I gave him the medicine and babyed him, he went to sleep with no trouble. I am exhausted today, and want to punch him in the face. He of course is home sick. He did have tha audacity to text me to tell me I picked him up the wrong medicine and that he still feels sick. I told him his behavior last night was insane. Is there anyway to address this? He seems to think that because he is sick he can act anyway he wants. I'm happy to pick up some oj and chicken soup after work, but that is the extent of my sympathy for a minor cold.

 

I'm assuming you two are fairly young.

 

Here's the REALLY sad news. They don't act any better when they're older.

[Wade Lamare]

You're so mean to us guys.

 

Imma sulk now.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I had no idea this was a thing. This is my 3rd long term relationship, and it's the first time I've ever experienced this. My past boyfriends have been very stoic about being sick. Neither of them would ever have demanded a night time drug store visit except in a true emergency. (Nor would I for that matter.)

 

For the record, I did go to sleep on the couch. However he was moaning so loudly, I still couldn't sleep. Apparently I bought him zzzquil at 2am instead of night quill. I honestly was trying to drug him with sleeping medicine, but of the cold fighting variety. I didn't even know that zzzquil wasn't cold medicine. He was quite miffed when he found out this morn.

 

If he was moanin. Loudly. Late at night. He may have had more than just a cold. Probably flu even. You ever get down to the bottom of it to figure out what he really had?

[Wade Lamare]

[LookAtThisPOst]

I would have gone to get the medicine as long as he takes of me when I'm sick or in other ways. Guys like to be babied and taken care of. They have to be tough in public most other times, so being vulnerable at home and cared for by their s/o is special I think.

 

You're considered a keeper. ;-) The OP OTOH....mmmmm....not so much.

[planning4later]

This is why I'm not getting married again. Can't a man be sick in peace? When it comes time for me to die, will I be able to die in peace?

 

I don't need to be "babyed". Just leave me in peace. You dont have to take care of me. Just leave me alone. But for crying out loud don't go saying I'm a baby. Get out and leave. You can come back when I'm feeling better and then you can nag me to fix the sink, replace the hard wood floor, etc.

[LookAtThisPOst]

This is why I'm not getting married again. Can't a man be sick in peace? When it comes time for me to die, will I be able to die in peace?

 

Exactly, why live in fear of being punched by the OP? lol

 

I don't need to be "babyed". Just leave me in peace. You dont have to take care of me. Just leave me alone. But for crying out loud don't go saying I'm a baby. Get out and leave. You can come back when I'm feeling better and then you can nag me to fix the sink, replace the hard wood floor, etc.

 

Really? You want someone like that to come back into your life?

[planning4later]

Exactly, why live in fear of being punched by the OP? lol

 

 

 

Really? You want someone like that to come back into your life?

 

No, I'm just saying what it was like when I was married to someone like that. I'm not anymore.

 

Many many women view men as nothing more than utilities. If the man isn't feeling perfect constantly and able to be utilized for his labor during all hours except while sleeping (if he's lucky), then he's viewed as useless and a baby. Been there, done that. I want no part. I'm a human being who gets sick like everyone else and who had shortcomings like everyone else. I'm not Hercules.

Edited September 24, 2016 by planning4later

[LookAtThisPOst]

No, I'm just saying what it was like when I was married to someone like that. I'm not anymore.

 

Many many women view men as nothing more than utilities. If the man isn't feeling perfect constantly and able to be utilized for his labor during all hours except while sleeping (if he's lucky), then he's viewed as useless and a baby. Been there, done that. I want no part. I'm a human being who gets sick like everyone else and who had shortcomings like everyone else. I'm not Hercules.

 

Yeah, you're told to "suck it up" or "deal with it" or "man up". When you hear a single woman complain about what she complained about in the OP...head for the hills! lol She's hardly the nurturing type.

 

I remember going out on a date with a woman, and I almost swore she was sizing me up as a potential "fix it/landscape guy" for her place.

 

Apparently, her house is getting to be too much for her to handle and is looking for a guy to help her out as opposed to actually love him? Also her business was kind of in a slump, as one of her locations went down the tubes....so it seems as if she was looking for a usable room mate than someone to actually be romantic with.

[GemmaUK]

He was well enough to go to the gym and for a drink earlier that night so he's not ill enough to demand his partner go out at 1am to get him pills.

It's ridiculous! Lol!

[LookAtThisPOst]

Personally, I think there is more to the story than the OP let's on. Sure, he had a mild sniffle when he went to the gym and drinks. But it got worse at a later time apparently, and it's usually at night symptoms tend to get more aggravated...I had the flu, so I've been down that miserable path.

 

We don't even know if it was actually just a cold or flu, of course we'll never know for sure as we weren't there....and the OP could be biased in her version of the story.

Edited September 24, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote ~T

[katiegrl]

Personally, I think there is more to the story than the OP let's on. Sure, he had a mild sniffle when he went to the gym and drinks. But it got worse at a later time apparently, and it's usually at night symptoms tend to get more aggravated...I had the flu, so I've been down that miserable path.

 

We don't even know if it was actually just a cold or flu, of course we'll never know for sure as we weren't there....and the OP could be biased in her version of the story.

 

Possibly, but I try not to read into things too much.... preferring instead to go by what the OP has actually posted.

 

And she specifically said it was not a flu.

 

She did say she wanted to take him to emergency room at one point, so she was willing to do that with no attitude.

 

But then discovered it was nothing serious.

Edited September 24, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Referenced deleted post ~T

[GravityMan]

Err...most adults (particularly the grownups that are adults in the mental sense, too) who get colds due to allergies/sinus/etc are still able to live their normal functional lives for the most part. They simply take some appropriate medicine or eat soup or whatever and then go about their normal lives (i.e. go to work and be productive, exercise, take care of their relationship responsibilities, etc). They also know that they are prone to the occasional cold or seasonal allergy...so they usually keep their medicine cabinets properly stocked in advance. They also go to the doctor at least once a year. It's called being responsible for your health and taking care of yourself. While they'll appreciate the support and caring of their partner when the health issue is minor...it's only when they're really sick in a debilitating sense that they'll really need and rely on said support.

 

The OP's boyfriend is not only a man-child that lacks mental toughness, he is being irresponsible, inconsiderate and disrespectful to his girlfriend with how he's acting during his minor sickness. The guy needs to suck it up and grow a pair.

 

Just because a guy has a minor illness doesn't automatically give him carte blanche to behave however he wants in front of his romantic partner, at work, or anywhere else where he is expected to act in an appropriate manner. (And even if he had a major illness, or just something contagious like the flu, he would be expected to not put others at risk.) Same goes for women.

 

Also, err...if OP's BF is "well" enough to go to the gym and have drinks, then he's certainly capable of driving his own self to the pharmacy. By whining at his girlfriend to do it for him, he's basically using her.

 

And yes, it's likely he got this mindset from his mother.

 

There's a difference between a man being vulnerable and a man being a man-child.