Hannahlyzing Posted September 23, 2016 Posted September 23, 2016 I recently decided to try out online dating, being open minded with what type of relationship I want. I'm sort of busy with school lately so it isn't ideal to jump into anything long-term. So after going out on many dates I found this guy that I actually got along with really well. After asking what he wanted, he said he wanted to make friends and see if we progress from there. But a little later he said he's not really looking to jump into a full-blown relationship. So I figured it could be like an fwb type thing, which he thought was cool. So we've been seeing each other several times and each time we do we end up hooking up, but also hanging out. He invites me to his house and we hang out watching T.V, going on walks, playing with his dogs and such and even go out to eat. The sex we have is absolutely incredible, like better than with anyone else, it's so natural and lasts so long I literally feel like Im in some kind of performance or doing a dance, it's so rhythmic and natural. After we have sex, we just cuddle all night, holding hands. He texts me the next day and tells me how amazing it is and that we have to get together again soon. So we talked again the other day to clear things up and like he said before he said he's not anti-relationship at all, a full blown relationship isn't at the top of his list right now, but that things can become more serious in the future. I honestly have no idea what to call this relationship, what do you think of it? --- **tl;dr**: FWB type situation with potential to grow in the future according to both of us. What is this?!
jen1447 Posted September 23, 2016 Posted September 23, 2016 Sounds like BF/GF to me. Or two ppl deluding themselves into thinking it's not when there are obvs feels involved. FWBs don't cuddle and pair bond all night long and say how much they miss each other and how they can't wait to take more walks together. I'd try to properly define this sooner rather than later bc the consequences for misunderstandings and blowing it up can be severe - you're bscly in a relationship, just w/out the license, so if it flames out you won't have the same type of support to fall back on but you'll feel it just as hard, which really sucks.
preraph Posted September 23, 2016 Posted September 23, 2016 Men are unreasonably squeamish about using the "girlfriend" tag, but I don't give a crap whether they like it or not. What I would call him is "a boyfriend," as opposed to "my boyfriend," and I would continue definitely to date other guys. Because I'm positive he's dating other women or hoping to and he's not ready for commitment and has made that clear. But as long as you keep dating and don't get obsessed with him, you can enjoy what you have for as long as it lasts.
Redhead14 Posted September 23, 2016 Posted September 23, 2016 I recently decided to try out online dating, being open minded with what type of relationship I want. I'm sort of busy with school lately so it isn't ideal to jump into anything long-term. So after going out on many dates I found this guy that I actually got along with really well. After asking what he wanted, he said he wanted to make friends and see if we progress from there. But a little later he said he's not really looking to jump into a full-blown relationship. So I figured it could be like an fwb type thing, which he thought was cool. So we've been seeing each other several times and each time we do we end up hooking up, but also hanging out. He invites me to his house and we hang out watching T.V, going on walks, playing with his dogs and such and even go out to eat. The sex we have is absolutely incredible, like better than with anyone else, it's so natural and lasts so long I literally feel like Im in some kind of performance or doing a dance, it's so rhythmic and natural. After we have sex, we just cuddle all night, holding hands. He texts me the next day and tells me how amazing it is and that we have to get together again soon. So we talked again the other day to clear things up and like he said before he said he's not anti-relationship at all, a full blown relationship isn't at the top of his list right now, but that things can become more serious in the future. I honestly have no idea what to call this relationship, what do you think of it? --- **tl;dr**: FWB type situation with potential to grow in the future according to both of us. What is this?! I call it, BS. You're settling for less that what you really want. a full blown relationship isn't at the top of his list right now -- What's at the top of YOUR list. If you are dating with the goal of having a relationship with someone, you need to be dated and date with that goal in mind so you should be dating someone with the same goals. Plain and simple. No one ever knows if a relationship will develop with a new dating partner, but if they really want to have a relationship at some point, they have to approach it that way from the get go. So I figured it could be like an fwb type thing, which he thought was cool. -- Of course, he thought that would be cool. He's got a girl who doesn't mind just having sex and hanging out indefinitely and until he finds another one. So we talked again the other day to clear things up and like he said before he said he's not anti-relationship at all, a full blown relationship isn't at the top of his list right now, but that things can become more serious in the future. -- Nothing was cleared up . . . this is the ultimate string along phrase. In order for things to have been cleared up he would have had to say something like "I really like you a lot and I'm looking for a relationship, so let's be exclusive for a while and focus on each other". If you're giving/having all the benefits of relationship without a clear and common goal/direction, you're gonna be allowing yourself to be used and confused often. Figure out what you want for yourself and date people who want the same things and are clearly saying and demonstrating that to you.
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