Dont know what to make of this.

[sliptheotter]

So my girl and I have been together for 2 months now and I think she is the best person I have ever met, she is beautiful, smart and independent. She told me a couple days ago that she got offered to do a free photoshoot, and she said underwear would be involved. I had no objection because I thought it would be something that could boost her self confidence.

 

She went for her test shoot and she told me she did topless pictures. I was kind of surprised by this and she assured me she signed a contract that the pictures would not be distributed and she told me she offered to take her top off for some pictures. I also checked the guy out and he has a website and seems legit.

 

I was upset she did not tell me she would be doing nude pictures and asked her why she would never let me take pictures like that of her and replied that for me it would be sexual but for the photoshoot its "art".

 

I was very uncomfortable with this but decided against holding it against her because I care more about her than being angry about something like this.

 

 

 

So today she told me she has a 2 hour actual shoot and I asked if I could accompany her and she said the photographer said I would be a distraction from her getting quality shoots because she would be "subconsciously" worrying about what i was thinking. I guess that means I can never go with her to a shoot even tho I told her I was just being protective...

 

What do I do? this bothers me a lot but she doesnt seem to care.

[Smoothman]

So my girl and I have been together for 2 months now and I think she is the best person I have ever met, she is beautiful, smart and independent.

See that word there?

Independent

Remember that.

Two months is barely a beginning...

You "Allowed" (no objection ) her to do a photo shoot? Does she need your permission?

Why would you object?

You need to allow this girl to proceed with this with no hindrance or bad feelings from you.

Come of it dude, she's doing professional photography, what's the HECK is wrong with that?

What if she starred in a movie and did a sex scene?

You should be thrilled she's getting work, not sulking around like a spoilt jealous child.

Grow up or you will LOSE this great girl.

[Omei]

Photo shoots are just photo shoots there's usually a level of professionalism to them and if you took photos it would likely be followed with relationship sex and you keeping them to use at your own leisure.

 

I can see her veiw

 

Maybe you should accept her invitation and see what it's all about

[CarrieT]

I don't think this will end well.

 

I did one of those "photoshoots" once and it always starts with just underwear. Then the top comes off. "Oh," the photographer says, "could you just touch yourself a little...."

 

But - as others have said - you have only been together for two months and it is not your place or your job to tell her what she can and cannot do. You either have to trust her and accept the situation for what it is: The Potential For A Problem (or maybe not).

[sliptheotter]

I never said I "allowed" it, I know its her body and she can do whatever she wants. also she objected against me coming with her to see what it is all about. Im not trying to control her at all because that is not the kind of person I am. I am just distressed about this because this is not what I signed up for in the beginning.

[five2nine]

If it were me i would be kinda concerned my partner isn't concerned how i feel and does things i'm not comfortable with regardless.

 

Just communicate. Maybe she will reassure you to where you'll feel comfortable and trusting enough of the situation. Maybe she'll agree it's not the best idea and not go for your sake.

 

You just have to see what she says. But if she loves modeling and doing photo shoots and being topless, this is something you'll have to get accustomed to if you want to date her.

[smudge21]

If the photographer is legit, then everything will be discussed in advance. There's different rates for nude work, both for the photographer and the model. No one is going to do more work without getting paid for it (unless it is all dodgy). For most photographers, taking nude shots is just a part of the job. There's nothing sexual in it - usually a lot of standing around drinking coffee and eating bacon sandwiches. The problem here is that you feel uncomfortable about it but this is something she has chosen to do. Talk to her and fingers crossed she understands your concerns and sets your mind at ease. However, I get the feeling that if this becomes her career, you may have a hard time accepting it.

[Buddhist]

There's a big difference between a boyfriend taking nude shots with an iPhone and a photographer with a business reputation at stake doing the same thing. The boyfriend can and probably will use those shots for just about anything including revenge uploads should the relationship fail. The photographer on the other hand, has professionalism and a career at stake to not do that. I would never allow my partner to take nude photo's of me ever. That's not to say that I would never have a nude taken. Context is everything.

 

The photographer is right to a degree, she would be worried about what you're thinking since clearly you're thinking a lot about it and getting a bit concerned just thinking about it, let alone actually being there.

 

I don't know, I have no useful advice here since so much about relationships walks a fine line between being possessive, uptight and having a concern or being upset by something. Its a fine line I find tiresome in actual relationships to be honest. I mean whats the point in telling her you don't like it? Unless you're expecting her not to go on your account there's no real reason for telling her so. If she doesn't go and really wants to she'll just resent you for it.

Edited September 23, 2016 by Buddhist

[Erised]

If the photographer is legit, then everything will be discussed in advance. There's different rates for nude work, both for the photographer and the model.

 

Though OP said she was offered a "free" photoshoot.

 

No pay, unless it's like working for exposure, which is odd for nudes.

 

 

That said, I have done a partially nude shoot for a book. (I was nude with like a blanket wrapped) I asked my guy and he was in favor of it, but he had done nude modelling for art classes himself all through grad school and has no hangups around the naked human form as being explicitly sexual.

[doyathinkso]

For what it's worth ... 'legit' photographers, especially the ones who 'offer' free photoshoots can sometimes be biggest sleazeball pervs of them all.

[mortensorchid]

Hmmm... This is rough. You as the bf are uncomfortable with it, but she's doing this because she wants to. Remember that if and when something like this happens it's not because the model ( be it a man or a woman) is insecure. It's out of vanity that they do this. So if you as the bf are uncomfortable, she might see you as being the insecure one and this creates tension.

 

Personally, I would not have told the man (as in my bf) if I were doing such a thing. True, it is now more difficult to keep a secret like that thanks to the internet, but if he is looking for it he might find it. There is no need to make him upset by things like this. But since you know, do not worry about it. If she is in good hands and it's art not porn, things should be okay.

[kgcolonel]

Okay, just a few questions....is this an "artsy" type of photoshoot or a sexually natured shoot? You should get some indication based on the work he has done previously. Also, can she / or you speak with some of the prior models to understand the character and what goes on during a shoot with this photographer.

 

I personally, have no issues with nudity but if it turns into a sex act which i think you're concerned about, this becomes a much different situation. I'd ask her if it is sexually natured and if so, that would be my exit.....