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it it possible for feelings to grow and to change a persons mind

fred123

By fred123
in General Relationship Discussion

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fred123 Established Member

fred123

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would people advise to stick with someone who has made it clear they dont want anything serious for the time and has been lukewarm in the hope they can and will eventually fall in love and want to be in a relationship with you?

 

just a generic question

VeveCakes Established Member

VeveCakes

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No...why would you. Find someone that is crazy about you.

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fred123 Established Member

fred123

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what if the person has reasons why they is like that? they are scared of getting hurt and has her walls up etc?

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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Dont waste your time.....

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VeveCakes Established Member

VeveCakes

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what if the person has reasons why they is like that? they are scared of getting hurt and has her walls up etc?

 

then you are wasting your time because they are probably avoidant and not capable of a relationship.

PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

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what if the person has reasons why they is like that? they are scared of getting hurt and has her walls up etc?

 

Might be their way of gently letting you know they don't see a future without being too blunt or hurting your feelings.

 

Regardless of the reasons given, if they have clearly said they don't want anything serious, I'd take them at their word - they are being totally upfront, no mind games.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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If someone tells you they don't want you, they are telling you plainly they are not interested in you in that way. No, hanging around won't change her mind. That's only in the movies. To refuse to take her seriously when she says she doesn't want you is to totally disrespect her because it's the same as saying that YOU know better what she wants then SHE does, and that's ridiculous. She was trying to let you down easy because women are mainly not cruel-hearted, but because she can't be brutal and just say, Look, I'm not attracted to you and never will be, so get outta here already, you're hanging on to false hope. People shouldn't have to beat you over the head to get you to bow out when they let you know they're not into you.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
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would people advise to stick with someone who has made it clear they dont want anything serious for the time and has been lukewarm in the hope they can and will eventually fall in love and want to be in a relationship with you?

 

just a generic question

 

I wouldn't. I wouldn't waste my time with them. If they don't want to be with me, then I've got to go.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Fred: you need to get over this. It's an old story now. She never was into you and will never be. You need to search for someone worthy of your love and time.

 

You remind me of an old friend who spent a few night with a man. Something like 2 years later she was still hanging on to him and hoping he'd come back and what if deep down he wanted to be with her but he didn't know.

 

You are wasting the best years of your life on someone that does not even remember you exist most of the time.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
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what if the person has reasons why they is like that? they are scared of getting hurt and has her walls up etc?

 

That's even worse.

 

We've all been hurt, so that excuse is pretty lame. Tell her to hang a picture on her walls.

 

The true answer is: they don't want to be with you, but they also don't want to be alone.

 

If who they really want right now doesn't pan out, they want me on standby that maybe, perhaps, who knows, possibly one day they'll be struck by a bolt out of the blue and see what an awesome person I always was? No. Keep that and miss me with it.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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would people advise to stick with someone who has made it clear they dont want anything serious for the time and has been lukewarm in the hope they can and will eventually fall in love and want to be in a relationship with you?

 

just a generic question

 

No.

 

This almost never works out.

 

Why would you want to? Believe people the first time and keep it moving.

Coldfire Established Member

Coldfire

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Unfortunately I don't think that this is how it works. When a persin says they don't have feelings, accept this and don't ever think that it will change because you may get really hurt.

 

I would be honest with the person. Tell him/her that I have feelings and it is too painful for me to be around. He/she will reach out to you if they develop feelings (which is unlikely). In any event you must move on or you will only get hurt even more.

 

would people advise to stick with someone who has made it clear they dont want anything serious for the time and has been lukewarm in the hope they can and will eventually fall in love and want to be in a relationship with you?

 

just a generic question

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