Why won't my long distance ex leave me alone?

[Tee1999]

Hello everyone. First off I'm new here but I've been lurking on here for over a year and so after this I and off nonsense with my ex. I've learned a few things from other people in here but I wished I've learned sooner or later so I wouldn't have to be in this embarrassing predicament. Well anyways I'm 17 and my ex is 16 and We were in a relationship for 3 years. We've met on Xbox live when were 14/13 and thought we knew what love was. Turned out that was wrong. Anyways this girl broke up with me over 8 times and each reason was the same. It was either she wanted to to explore other things or she felt she "half in love with em and half not ".. I don't know what that even means but everyone she did I always ran behind her begged her back. I guess she took this as an ego boost and always say "I don't know what I want. Wait to saw what the future holds for us." At that point I've gave up started hooking up with a girl closer as she did with someone else but in South Korea =\. Well since she thought of me as her brother we could tell each other everything and I told her about the girl and immediately got jealous and threatened to never talk to me again and I got scared and totally ditched the gurl for my ex again. We shortly gotten back together for a few weeks and then broke up with me AGAIN. This was last year of course and we began another cycle of on and off relationships until march this year and I've figured I got enough of bs and went strict no contact. Yet, she always found a way to contact me. I've kept in contact with her family on FB but I knew it was a bad idea Cause she will always get on her mom's FB and always try to contact me. Anyways it's been 8 months and I'm trying my best to move on. Why is she still trying to contact me and why hasn't she moved on? She just tried to and recently said "I have faith in us talking in the future when we are more mature and that I'm basically immature for not wanting to talk to her" after that I've just blocked her entire family. Why won't she move on knowingly she started all of this?

[smudge21]

You said it yourself - ego boost. People who do the dumping are in control. However once the dumpee moves on and stops chasing, they lose that control and therefore it damages their ego. You also often find nasty dumpers living off the high they get from an ex chasing them constantly. Like a cat with a toy, they play with it everytime you pull it away, bring it back to them but then lose interest. It's fairly simple really - when someone wants you, truly wants you, there's no doubt and you know it. You don't have to ask anyone as it's clear. There's a difference between that and what your ex is doing. Try to remove any way of contact as that will always keep in you limbo and unable to move on. I reckon the hardest part is realising and accepting that someone we once loved can turn into someone so cold and play games like this.

[MomLeslieM]

Am I understanding that you are long distance as in never been together in real life just via XBox live, facebook, etc? Please know that no matter what your age if that's the case it really is not a real "relationship". You can say you "love" someone but without knowing who they really are and how they really act in person you don't truly love them - because, you don't know them. This girl is controlling you from afar....please don't let this keep happening. At 17 you have your life in front of you -- cut off all contact with her family as well as her and she will not have a means to contact you. If she does, ignore her and do NOT respond. If you don't respond she can't continue - she is the one being immature here and not you.