lambs_101 Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 First of all, thank you for taking the time to read and/or cure my problems. This is my first thread, so hopefully I'm doing this correctly. So where do I being? A week or so ago a certain someone started liking all my photos on Facebook. In the general nature of a bloke, I did the same back as she is quite attractive. Then she inboxes me, flirting right from the first message. Boy did we hit it off, I've become so comfortable with someone over text and in so little time. Talking to each other was like an adrenalin rush. Naturally, I got her number and we continued this cheeky, flirty behaviour for the next few days. We were a definite match, our hobbies and interests aligned and everything was great. She is currently out of town on a working holiday, but will be returning in 1 week. We have arranged to meet up the same day that she returns. That's how eager we were to see each other. Over the last few days, she has become really cold, distant and doesn't strike a conversation anymore. What happened? Here's the thing, when I text her she acts like there's nothing wrong and she still flirts. But if I don't text, we don't text at all. We don't Snapchat anymore either. I decided to dig a little deeper and found out that she had just currently broken up or had an argument with her boyfriend. I think she has been with him for quite a while. Since she's become cold and distant, I think she's worked things out with her boyfriend. If that is the case, why does she still reply to me? Why does she still flirt? What does she want from me? She started talking to me for the get go. Not the other way around. I feel like I've just been left in the dark with all these unanswered questions? We originally planned to meet up tomorrow, as I said above. But we've become distant over the past days. What do I do? Also whenever I text her, she always seems to be in a rush or says she's going to bed. Still calls me cutie, sends love hearts and says we'll talk tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. I think she is trying to hide something from her actual boyfriend. By saying she going to bed, I'll usually only reply one more time. Then when she spends time with her actual boyfriend, he doesn't get an awkward surprise on her phone (being a text message from me). Over the last few days, I have been distant and trying to make her feel that I'm not desperate. Sometimes I won't reply to a random Snapchat or a won't reply for a while to a massage. I don't want her to feel that she has me on a string. It's just a super weird situation to be in. I didn't go out hunting for a girl. She initiated everything from the start. Now I feel like I'm tied to some 'just in case' plan. She's cold and non-talkative but still flirts like crazy. Messing with people's emotions is not cool. I feel like messaging her boyfriend and filling him in. What should I do now? Sorry for my rant everyone, I just needed to get this out there. Thank's heaps.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 I'd just forget about her. You've never met her and have only been chatting for a week. She has a boyfriend. Not worth getting involved at all. 2
longjohn Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 Looks like she flipped to you when things went bad with her bf (for whatever reason) now she's flopping back to him. I'd move along and accept it as you being a distraction for her and an ego boost while she was going through some issues. Another way to look at it is like this.. do you want to be the bf one day where she finds someone else to be a distraction with? Another way to look at it is she may have had multiple pokers in the fire so to speak. You might be one of who knows how many she's been talking to and you just might have been knocked off the top spot or she got bored with you and moved along. Hate to say it but the more online we get the more disconnected we become as actual people. People get distracted very quickly in this day and age and many women (men too) are always searching for something "better" than what they've got or already have.
Zahara Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 You were likely a distraction from her break-up. Now that she's back with him, her attention has shifted back to him. It was a virtual connection that lasted a week. Try to move on from it.
VeveCakes Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 She thought she was breaking up with her bf, or she was feeling down so she was using you to boost her ego. Now she has you interested she is going to string you along for that ego boost when she needs it. Is this the kind of woman you want to date? 2
gorf Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 I agree with the others. Bottom line is this is a girl who got your attention.. who has a boyfriend. Even if she had broken up, you still do not want to get involved with someone that freshly broken up. For a multitude of reasons. Bottom line is you would not be wise to get involved with her (and her bf or feelings) now or any times soon 1
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