dazedandconfused17 Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 Hey everyone I had a weird situation this weekend with some guy and it's just been bugging me so much so i'm hoping so advice will help clear my head So back in June I went to NYC to meet some friends (I'm from FL) and one night a friend introduced me to one of his friends and we hit it off. Basically we ended up spending my last 48 hrs together in bed and just talking. Of course I knew what this was and wasn't expecting it go any further and so when I left I didnt really expect to remain in contact. However, we kinda did via text and snapchat and we video chatted once. In July I was told about a possible opportunity for an internship over there and so I scheduled the interview for September and told this guy i'd be going. 2 months later and so the weekend came and we had remained in contact and so he planned on staying 2 nights with me. We meet up and everything is fine, I dont make any moves since I wasn't exactly sure where we stood but he was grabbing my hand, putting his arm around me, hugging me, ect. We have a great night together and then the next day comes and the same thing we are very comfortable he's grabbing my hand and after day drinking we go back to take a nap and he ends up getting a call from a friend saying he needs his help ASAP he hesitates and tells his friend no but then caves and says fine. As he's getting up to go he says he'll come back but then ends up saying actually i'm not, i need to be alone right now, i'm not in a good place, but you need to know that you're not just a fling you're more to me than that but I just cant be here right now. and so i dont beg him to stay so I just let him go but that was it. It was so out of the blue! I was left in shock since we planned on spending the weekend together and idk what to think? My friends say he might have caught feelings and panicked and since he is 5 years younger than me he reacted in an immature way but I really don't know? I'm just so Sorry for the long story! Just hoping to get some advice 1
Satu Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 snip *My friends say he might have caught feelings and panicked and since he is 5 years younger than me he reacted in an immature way but I really don't know? I'm just so Sorry for the long story! Just hoping to get some advice *That sounds very likely to me. How interested in him are you? What is your desired outcome?
Author dazedandconfused17 Posted September 22, 2016 Author Posted September 22, 2016 snip *That sounds very likely to me. How interested in him are you? What is your desired outcome? Thank you for the reply! I'm not interested in making him anything official. I understand we have a distance and it gets complicated but I just don't feel as if it should have ended this way. I would have liked for us to remain friends and keep in contact and whatever the future holds then so be it. But I even texted him a few days ago about some news I had hear and no answer.. 1
Satu Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 Thank you for the reply! I'm not interested in making him anything official. I understand we have a distance and it gets complicated but I just don't feel as if it should have ended this way. I would have liked for us to remain friends and keep in contact and whatever the future holds then so be it. *But I even texted him a few days ago about some news I had hear and no answer.. This is nothing more than a first thought, but do you think he might have a girlfriend you don't know about?
Author dazedandconfused17 Posted September 22, 2016 Author Posted September 22, 2016 This is nothing more than a first thought, but do you think he might have a girlfriend you don't know about? That I know about no. He wasnt checking his phone or anything like that so I would assume not. And on facebook he's listed as single 1
Lois_Griffin Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 My friends say he might have caught feelings and panicked and since he is 5 years younger than me he reacted in an immature way but I really don't know? I'm just so Sorry for the long story! Just hoping to get some advice Nah. I think your friends are just trying to make you feel better about what happened. Personally, it simply sounds as though he didn't want to engage in any more time together and wanted to extricate himself from the plans you both had made. Look, he got his buddy to make the infamous 'emergency' call just to buy himself a way out of the weekend with you, which likely means he had other plans he preferred to be engaged in or he just plain wanted out. And what COULD he say to you when you were supposed to be spending the weekend with him and instead, he was running off and leaving you high and dry and all alone? Of course he's going to feed you lip service about how you're not just a fling and how 'it's him and not you' and blah blah blah... I think he just didn't have the guts to tell you he wasn't interested in spending any more time together but he didn't want to burn a bridge with you, either. I'd take it for exactly what it was. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 The local woman he is seeing called and needed his help. He almost got busted by both of you. Just my inkling. 1
Author dazedandconfused17 Posted September 22, 2016 Author Posted September 22, 2016 Nah. I think your friends are just trying to make you feel better about what happened. Personally, it simply sounds as though he didn't want to engage in any more time together and wanted to extricate himself from the plans you both had made. Look, he got his buddy to make the infamous 'emergency' call just to buy himself a way out of the weekend with you, which likely means he had other plans he preferred to be engaged in or he just plain wanted out. And what COULD he say to you when you were supposed to be spending the weekend with him and instead, he was running off and leaving you high and dry and all alone? Of course he's going to feed you lip service about how you're not just a fling and how 'it's him and not you' and blah blah blah... I think he just didn't have the guts to tell you he wasn't interested in spending any more time together but he didn't want to burn a bridge with you, either. I'd take it for exactly what it was. Yeah that's how I feel but it was just so out of the blue to me but I guess I'm just taking it as it is and moving on. It's messed up but nothing I can do about it. Thank you for the reply!
Author dazedandconfused17 Posted September 22, 2016 Author Posted September 22, 2016 The local woman he is seeing called and needed his help. He almost got busted by both of you. Just my inkling. That could be it too? I've thought about reaching out and asking but it's kind of like what's the point?
mortensorchid Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 I don't know if the story about helping the friend is or isn't true, but I would not worry about it. You said so yourself that you were/are not looking for something serious with him and based on the behaviors he is showing, neither is he. It's best to move on from it.
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