Shining One Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 This topic came up in the paying for dates thread. Historically, I used to plan my early dates based on the preferences of the woman I'm going out with. I used information from her OLD profile or from an early conversation. Some examples: She mentioned she likes lychee martinis. I take her to a place with lychee martinis.Her OLD profile says her favorite food is roasted chicken. I take her to a place with good roasted chicken.I've stopped doing this on early dates for practical reasons. One poster mentioned that she would feel tense at such an early display of "thoughtfulness". I would like to get opinions from other women on how they would respond to a man doing this when planning early dates?
preraph Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 I kind of agree. It's a bit of trying too hard, so depending on how they receive it is just a little bit of a gamble. For one thing, if it's a first date, she may feel really on the spot if you've gone all out to please her and it will only make it harder for her to be honest with you if she's not into you -- and well, it just makes things awkward that don't have to be. Now, on the 2nd or third date, after you know she's at least that much interested, doing one special thing like that and not two or more (save it for next time) would be a lot more in line.
AMJ Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 I appreciate thoughtfulness always, from anyone at any time. I can't imagine thinking that type of gesture would be a bad thing. 1
lana-banana Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 I agree. It's not that I wouldn't appreciate the gesture, but on a first date it'd feel like trying too hard to impress a stranger. Better to wait until you've decided you really like each other. We are overlooking the real issue, namely: lychee martinis? How is that not a dealbreaker? Either she can drink a real martini with Old Tom and vermouth like a civilized adult, or switch to something better (i.e. whiskey).
losangelena Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 I agree. It's not that I wouldn't appreciate the gesture, but on a first date it'd feel like trying too hard to impress a stranger. Better to wait until you've decided you really like each other. We are overlooking the real issue, namely: lychee martinis? How is that not a dealbreaker? Either she can drink a real martini with Old Tom and vermouth like a civilized adult, or switch to something better (i.e. whiskey). Lol! At least it's not a green apple martini.
Author Shining One Posted September 22, 2016 Author Posted September 22, 2016 I can't imagine thinking that type of gesture would be a bad thing.I didn't think so either until a female poster brought it up.
AMJ Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 Lol! At least it's not a green apple martini. I'm not one for girly drinks, at all- I'd usually prefer beer or wine any day. But there is this place that has an AMAZING lavender pear martini and I swear it always makes my day better. It's just, lavender
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