To.old.for.this Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 I'm In a new relationship with a man that I fell for the moment I saw him. We have been together for 6 months now. He has a past history of being something of a womanizer and a whore just to be blunt about it, but only when he is not in a commited relationship. He goes to work and he comes home to me. But the last few days have me very concerned. It's been noted that his boss' wife has a thing for him and they have been being around each other more. He came home yesterday and hardly spoke to me But had two Jack and cokes and cracked a joke about putting his boxers on inside out that morning. What? Seriously? The last few days he hasn't been texting me. We went from " I love you, have a good day" every morning to nothing at all. I can usually text him during the day and get a response but now I only get "I'll ttyl ok?". I called and found out that he is working at his bosses house today and she is there. I love him but I'd be stupid to believe that he ain't ****ing her. Am I just being crazy? Because I feel crazy. And heartbroken.
ZayKayWill Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 (edited) The way you're feeling isn't unreasonable at all. Especially if you know she has a thing for him. If the context of the text has changed that much then yeah I would be a little wary too. I'd say talk to him but then again he can just deny everything, huh? Hate to say it but I'm not sure what to tell you in terms of approaching the situation. You're gonna have to figure out what to do. Here's my question though: How do you know his bosses wife has a thing for him? Did he tell you this? If he was honest about everything especially the fact that he was at his bosses house then perhaps you're looking into it a bit too much (not your fault, completely understandable, just making you aware). Edited September 21, 2016 by ZayKayWill
Author To.old.for.this Posted September 21, 2016 Author Posted September 21, 2016 That's exactly what I mean. It's an illogical thought process. But the sudden disconnect is trumping all reason. It would be easy to claim that he was fully forthcoming and therefore denying any shenanigans and just blaming it in my imagination. The more I think about it the crazier it all seems. I am most likely reading to much in to it, I am aware. I just can't help but see all the things that don't add up.
Osmium13 Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 Don't beat yourself up over it. Carry on as normal and try to look at it objectively after a couple of weeks. I know it's hard, but make the effort. Obsess over this and you'll only drive yourself into a hurricane of jealous rage and end up having it out with him (probably in a very bad way), which will do nothing for your relationship. 1
preraph Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 I bet that situation is tantalizing to him if she's the least bit attractive. But that said, give him enough rope to hang himself and then if you do find out he's having sex with his boss's wife, you can always just tell his boss for revenge on your way out the door to make a new life for yourself with someone more trustworthy. 2
BluesPower Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 Yes he is, good for you picking it up so fast. What are you going to do?
Gaeta Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 If he is in a habit of having short term relationships like relationships no longer than 6 months than you have your answer. The newness of your relationship has gone and he's on the prowl again. The boss's wife will always be interesting to him, as a womanizer and a man whore, he sees her as a challenge and as a big F-U to the boss. 1
LostOnes05 Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 Our gut usually tells us things aren't quite right long before our heads or our hearts. 2
ZayKayWill Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 You never answered my question. How do you know his bosses wife has a thing for him? Did he tell you this? If so that may be a very important detail. Because why would he be telling you that if he has shady intentions?
Author To.old.for.this Posted September 22, 2016 Author Posted September 22, 2016 It's came up in conversation. How she is always watching him and doting on him. It's becoming a habit of hers. And I never said that anything I'm thinking or feeling is rational or even happening. It's a fear and a suspicion.
ZayKayWill Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 Well then...if I was you I would just try your best to move on and forget about this whole ordeal. It seems like it's causing you some unnecessary pain that could otherwise be avoided.
ZayKayWill Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 Our gut usually tells us things aren't quite right long before our heads or our hearts. Gut feelings aren't always accurate though. In fact, a lot of the time, they are very inaccurate.
spiderowl Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 If there's a big change in the pattern of communication, then one can assume something isn't quite right. As he has a history of being a womaniser, this is unlikely to change. Well, you take your chance with a guy like that really. It sounds like he's giving you minimal attention. If it was me, I'd be questioning him about the change, but more likely I would drop him like a hot brick.
NTV Posted September 23, 2016 Posted September 23, 2016 You could hit on his bosses wife and see how crazy shot gets lol
Gloria25 Posted September 23, 2016 Posted September 23, 2016 You say he 'comes home' to you? So, in less than six months you moved this guy in? IMO, kick him out and move on. I think you want this to work cuz pressure is on you since he's living with you. Next time don't move in with someone until you're married. That way you can date without the pressure of trying to make it work when red flags appear. So, sorry, you don't want to be wrong here...but this is all wrong, IMO.
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