scared he found "the one"? 6 month relationship

[Omega1]

He's 24 and I'm 21. when we were together or talked he always brought up our cute jokes/memories. He's never cheated or wanted to which is new for him. His mom said hes treated our relationship different than his previous. And that I'm the best girl he's ever had, I'm on the ball with my life and he loves that he doesn't feel like he's doing all the leg work financially. He would call me after work & we would stay on until the next morning. We spent our weekends together still having fun with eachother. He would buy me cute gifts occassionally, spoil me, or fix something for me. I would help him with his laundry or cleaning, make him a special breakfast, and hang out with his best friend (who is married with a kid, he's wants the life he has he said) with him if he wanted and just he had a good time with me always he said. He always had me in mind as far as plans and what not. Saturday he even fixed my sink, surprised me at work on Friday & stayed until close (an hour and a half).

 

But He broke it off that Sat Bc he apparently "doesnt care for us as a couple" I don't believe it. He loves me but isnt "in-love", but also said that im the type of girl hed want to be with?! Confusing. He hesitated the whole way out the door that night (claiming it was hard to say bye to one of my dogs which wasn't even his favorite one).

 

After that he texted me and kept in contact. I called him Monday asking to get "closure" but really wanted to ask him 2 questions and maybe change his mind- how everything can go from awesome to bad in a flash. We were on the phone for a long time like normal then he had to get off to get ready for bed but said he would call me back. Something happened with his phone so he didn't get to but in the morning (yesterday) he apologized and said he was getting a new phone that day. He even double texted a couple of times and got kind of upset when I didn't reply back fast enough (hense the double text). He called me that night after work to finish our convo and I said I didn't have another question, he saw my post on FB about a friend visiting me at work and got upset that I was moving on after a few days (which I'm not at all), he said we shouldnt be friends anymore because it would hurt him too much to see me move on. I said if it hurts you that much then why did you break it off? He didn't answer. We stayed on the phone for awhile and it went to resync so he called me via FB and we stayed on that for awhile, I vented about how upset and angry I was. He said the more you try to understand it the less you will. I tried to get off the phone 3 times and he was hesitant the whole time because this would be the last time we would talk to each other (I don't want it to be!!). He deleted me off Facebook but kept my grandfather as his friend when they barely know each other. But he is still my friend on snapchat which he looks at daily. Clearly A big part of him doesn't want to let go and neither do I so why?!

 

Hunch- AS WE ALL HAVE OUR FLAWS: We would have one minor disagreement a week, which to me is pretty good. He wouldnt drop it until he won tho it seemed (hes competitive). A few times he blew it up more than it needed to be. And he broke up with me a couple of times (2 times) because we couldn't reach a solution (I believe because he is known to be selfish about things but I loved him no matter what). But we would be back together by the next day. The longest break up was three days. I always go to him first, which I don't mind but I don't want it to make me look desperate.

 

I know our relationship made him happier than his single life. He admits to loving to spend time with me and that I'm the girl he would love to be with. He says he loves me and shows me all the time. He knows I want to move back home, and at one point was talking about moving in together. The 2 hour drive is nothing for us we didn't mind it.

 

Will he come back? Could it be that hes scared that he found "the one"?

[preraph]

He thinks you're marriage material, but he doesn't feel the spark, so you're not for him. He likes you but it's not working for him.

[JewelD]

He's broken up with you two times before. You're most likely not the one for him.

 

If he comes back, it might be because of guilt or boredom but since you didn't actually do anything wrong, he probably just realizes you two are not a match. Maybe it seemed like everything was great to you, but it clearly wasn't for him.

 

Don't look too deep into things he has said in the past.

[stillafool]

Plus the fact that he is only 24 he probably wants to date around and see what else is out there before meeting "the one" and settling down. You are only 21 and should be out having the time of your life. Youth goes by quick. Enjoy it!

[aloneinaz]

Plus the fact that he is only 24 he probably wants to date around and see what else is out there before meeting "the one" and settling down. You are only 21 and should be out having the time of your life. Youth goes by quick. Enjoy it!

 

This^^

 

My gosh, to be 21 again! I'd be out there tearing it up!

[ExpatInItaly]

I think if you've already broken up a few times in six months, it's not that he's scared - he's just realized you're not a compatible, long-term match. It also tells me he's not looking for a serious commitment right now.

 

Actions speak louder than words. And his actions are telling you everything you need to know. A man who really loves you does not repeatedly break up with you. His words are pretty meaningless when he's always looking for the exit door.

 

As the others said, you're both so young. Neither of you will probably truly be ready to settle down for a few years to come.

[Redhead14]

He's 24 and I'm 21. when we were together or talked he always brought up our cute jokes/memories. He's never cheated or wanted to which is new for him. His mom said hes treated our relationship different than his previous. And that I'm the best girl he's ever had, I'm on the ball with my life and he loves that he doesn't feel like he's doing all the leg work financially. He would call me after work & we would stay on until the next morning. We spent our weekends together still having fun with eachother. He would buy me cute gifts occassionally, spoil me, or fix something for me. I would help him with his laundry or cleaning, make him a special breakfast, and hang out with his best friend (who is married with a kid, he's wants the life he has he said) with him if he wanted and just he had a good time with me always he said. He always had me in mind as far as plans and what not. Saturday he even fixed my sink, surprised me at work on Friday & stayed until close (an hour and a half).

 

But He broke it off that Sat Bc he apparently "doesnt care for us as a couple" I don't believe it. He loves me but isnt "in-love", but also said that im the type of girl hed want to be with?! Confusing. He hesitated the whole way out the door that night (claiming it was hard to say bye to one of my dogs which wasn't even his favorite one).

 

After that he texted me and kept in contact. I called him Monday asking to get "closure" but really wanted to ask him 2 questions and maybe change his mind- how everything can go from awesome to bad in a flash. We were on the phone for a long time like normal then he had to get off to get ready for bed but said he would call me back. Something happened with his phone so he didn't get to but in the morning (yesterday) he apologized and said he was getting a new phone that day. He even double texted a couple of times and got kind of upset when I didn't reply back fast enough (hense the double text). He called me that night after work to finish our convo and I said I didn't have another question, he saw my post on FB about a friend visiting me at work and got upset that I was moving on after a few days (which I'm not at all), he said we shouldnt be friends anymore because it would hurt him too much to see me move on. I said if it hurts you that much then why did you break it off? He didn't answer. We stayed on the phone for awhile and it went to resync so he called me via FB and we stayed on that for awhile, I vented about how upset and angry I was. He said the more you try to understand it the less you will. I tried to get off the phone 3 times and he was hesitant the whole time because this would be the last time we would talk to each other (I don't want it to be!!). He deleted me off Facebook but kept my grandfather as his friend when they barely know each other. But he is still my friend on snapchat which he looks at daily. Clearly A big part of him doesn't want to let go and neither do I so why?!

 

Hunch- AS WE ALL HAVE OUR FLAWS: We would have one minor disagreement a week, which to me is pretty good. He wouldnt drop it until he won tho it seemed (hes competitive). A few times he blew it up more than it needed to be. And he broke up with me a couple of times (2 times) because we couldn't reach a solution (I believe because he is known to be selfish about things but I loved him no matter what). But we would be back together by the next day. The longest break up was three days. I always go to him first, which I don't mind but I don't want it to make me look desperate.

 

I know our relationship made him happier than his single life. He admits to loving to spend time with me and that I'm the girl he would love to be with. He says he loves me and shows me all the time. He knows I want to move back home, and at one point was talking about moving in together. The 2 hour drive is nothing for us we didn't mind it.

 

Will he come back? Could it be that hes scared that he found "the one"?

 

He's 24 years old . . . he has a lotta living and lovin to do and so do you. You've broken up a couple of times for a reason -- you're just not that compatible or THAT good together.

 

Could it be that hes scared that he found "the one"? -- No, he's scared that he hasn't found the one . . .

 

I always go to him first, which I don't mind but I don't want it to make me look desperate. -- The best way to not look desperate is to actually not be desperate.

 

Don't chase after him. Go no contact from now on. It's the best way for both of you to be able to move on. It's not about animosity or meanest, it's about giving each other the opportunity to heal from this experience. That's very important to do, especially, since you're so young.

 

This relationship was struggling and unstable because the two of you simply don't have the relationship skills necessary to maintain a relationship or the insight to evaluate who is or who is not a good match which is why there is confusion and going back and forth. It's not easy at any age, but certainly at your ages.

 

You're a young woman and should be exploring and evaluating your options too. Date a few men, see how different they can be, enjoy the process.

You are too young to be wrapped up in a man when you have so many other things that you can be doing abd focusing on to enhance and prepare for your future as a secure, independent, woman. Enjoy all that for a while. The more you experience and learn, the better you will be in a relationship. You'll be bringing maturity, insight, experience, confidence to a relationship. Give yourself time to grieve and then get out there and have fun!