Mana15 Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 Hey, everyone! So, some day between the 16th and the 21st (today) of September of last year, I started NC with my ex of 5 years. For more information, feel free to check my older threads. September and October of last year were bad. Really bad. I've never gone through detoxification, but I compare that process with the process of recovering from a breakup with NC. I thought about him every day and it got to a point when I was apathic. My family and college friends were very, very worried about me. But by the 2nd half of November (a little less than 2 months after I started NC), I was living my daily life as if nothing had happened, although deep inside I still hoped he'd come back (whenever I got a text, I hoped it was him). I still had some pain, but nothing too serious. I was able to smile and focus on college. By December though, I started dreaming about him nearly everyday. It compromised my mood for the whole day, since sometimes I missed him a lot. This lasted until February, but naturally stopped (if you're wondering, last time I dreamt about him was this summer, but it didn't affect me). I don't know if this is common to everyone, but my biggest "fear" while in NC was that he was having a blast with his life and happier than ever. Happier than me. And to be honest, when I think about him, that's the first thing that comes to my mind. What if he's doing better than me? But I'm learning to block those thoughts, since how he's doing doesn't matter. He was a chapter in my life that's now over. Starting March, my college life got hectic, as I started my bachelor's final internship (I'm studying Education), which lasted until June. I barely had any time to think about him, and I'm glad. And when I did think, I was like "I doubt he's having a better experience than this. I'm so lucky to be me". I was genuinely happy with my life. Summer was kinda lonely because my family was either out working or on vacation, so I spent more time alone than I usually do and had a lot of free time, which I thought would be bad and make me miss him more, but it didn't. I was genuinely ok and, like I said before, I only dreamt about him once or twice since June. One thing I take from this experience is that everything comes naturally. All your worries slowly fade away and you get back the control of your life, so don't worry if you think you'll suffer for eternity, I truly don't believe that will happen. One thing I will say, though, is that there's no point in doing NC until you accept it's over and that you want to be happy without him/her. I'm certain about 85% of people go into NC expecting for the ex to contact them (and it might happen, it happened to me one time 3 years ago with this same ex, after 6 months apart), but deny it. NC will only start working when you tell yourself the truth: that your ex may not be coming back. It's up to you to decide whether you want to continue suffering or leave that vicious circle One year later, here I am, happy and back in control of my life. Even though everything happened naturally to me, if anyone has any question about the process, I'd be glad to help! 3
Frozensushi Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 Thank you so much for sharing your story of recovery. It really helps those of us still in the trenches of heartbreak and denial. I'm only about a month into NC and still kinda lost in a deluge of emotion. I've been having extremely vivid dream about my Ex or something to do with her the last week or so. It definitely is not the best way to start off a new day. It's a nightmare actually. I don't want my Ex to contact me and I don't want to contact my Ex. As far as I know she has blocked me six ways from Sunday and I have returned the favor tenfold. I received so much amazing advice and support on LoveShack. People who have shared near identical experiences to mine have given me such amazing insight about myself, my relationship with my Ex and why it was imperative that I go NC immediately. I'm really glad you shared your story of success with us. There are so many threads about heartbreak, it's nice to read one about someone who's made it out of the abyss to renewed happiness and normalcy. 1
Author Mana15 Posted September 21, 2016 Author Posted September 21, 2016 Thank you so much for sharing your story of recovery. It really helps those of us still in the trenches of heartbreak and denial. I'm only about a month into NC and still kinda lost in a deluge of emotion. I've been having extremely vivid dream about my Ex or something to do with her the last week or so. It definitely is not the best way to start off a new day. It's a nightmare actually. I don't want my Ex to contact me and I don't want to contact my Ex. As far as I know she has blocked me six ways from Sunday and I have returned the favor tenfold. I received so much amazing advice and support on LoveShack. People who have shared near identical experiences to mine have given me such amazing insight about myself, my relationship with my Ex and why it was imperative that I go NC immediately. I'm really glad you shared your story of success with us. There are so many threads about heartbreak, it's nice to read one about someone who's made it out of the abyss to renewed happiness and normalcy. LoveShack is, indeed, amazing and I'm glad it managed to make the process easier for you, as it did to me. It's very normal that you're dreaming about your ex and still miss her. Maybe the fact that he showed she didn't want to keep in touch made the process easier for you, which is a blessing. In my case, he wanted to stay in touch and I tried to, it was just too tough and I'd always end up getting too frustrated. I think in a while you'll be glad she "cut" contact with you
books2 Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 Thanks for the post Mana... I am just coming to realise that NC is pointless if you still want to be with the person still and hoping they contact you. It's hard to figure this out at first, but eventually life makes you understand what needs to happen. I too have had re-occurring dreams about my ex... While on NC I would dream every night about getting contacted. Wake up and jump on my phone, only to realise it was not true. I woke myself up with a huge deception every single morning for at least a month! Anyways, congratulations on moving forward in your life and your progress in regards to education!!
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