Lucysherman Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 Went on a really great date. It lasted about three hours-- there was dancing, there was touching, there was kissing (and maybe a few other things, haha). About two hours after I left, he texted me saying how much fun he had and that he wanted to hang out again sometime. I said I would love to. That was on Saturday, and now I'm just kind of waiting for him to reach out again. Sometimes I know guys like to wait until it's closer to the weekend to make plans, but would it be desperate (if I didn't hear from him) to reach out in a couple of days? Or should guys always initiate the second date? [He also said to me, "you have my number" not entirely sure what you make of that...]
Stercrazy Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 Second date was initiated by her......and I liked it. It depends on where you guys are at relationship wise......not so much on physical status more on a connection status. 1
Shining One Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 Sometimes I know guys like to wait until it's closer to the weekend to make plans, but would it be desperate (if I didn't hear from him) to reach out in a couple of days?I have never considered a woman desperate for asking me out on a second date. I consider a sign of confidence and a reciprocation of interest on her part. 5
smudge21 Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 Ignore whatever dating rules are out there, and just go with what you feel is right for you. If you want to see him again, then get in touch. Life's too short to be worried about these things. 2
Miss Peach Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 I will be the voice of dissension here. I want a man who will go after what he wants. I don't want to have to be the man in a relationship or a mother. I want a guy with a high enough interest level to pursue me without having to remind him I exist. If you showed him your appreciation for the date, kissed him, texted you had a good time, etc. he can probably guess that he could get another date with you. For some reason he is choosing not to yet. It could be because something that happened on the date, it could because he's dating others, it could be work, etc. You really have no idea at this point. Personally I would respond enthusiastically if he contacts you but I wouldn't initiate. 6
smackie9 Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 [He also said to me, "you have my number" not entirely sure what you make of that...] meaning you can contact me you know................don't be shy. I'm the assertive type and would suggest what to do for a second date. 3
Sara1989 Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 I will be the voice of dissension here. I want a man who will go after what he wants. I don't want to have to be the man in a relationship or a mother. I want a guy with a high enough interest level to pursue me without having to remind him I exist. If you showed him your appreciation for the date, kissed him, texted you had a good time, etc. he can probably guess that he could get another date with you. For some reason he is choosing not to yet. It could be because something that happened on the date, it could because he's dating others, it could be work, etc. You really have no idea at this point. Personally I would respond enthusiastically if he contacts you but I wouldn't initiate. I agree with you, in my experience the majority of the time if YOU have to chase a guy for a second date then it is not going to happen. Every time I initiated contact, it came to nothing. I had times where guys asked me out again, even on the date which have come to nothing for one reason or another. Fact is, if a guy likes you he will chase you and will pin you down for a time/date. If you know where you stand with a man, that is a good sign not this wondering.
katiegrl Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 (edited) meaning you can contact me you know................don't be shy. I'm the assertive type and would suggest what to do for a second date. Cool! Obviously, you are comfortable taking the aggressive/masculine energy role, and pursuing. Not all women are. I am NOT. I am the feminine energy... and as such I prefer (and actually need) a man who is aggressive, knows what (and who) he wants, and not afraid to go after it. I respond positively and enthusiastically to his pursuit so he knows I am into him. No wrong or right here, it's simply about what each of us is comfortable with. Once a RL is established, then (for me and my boyfriends anyway) it becomes more reciprocal. But early stages? Yes I am not ashamed to say I LOVE being pursued, it turns me on (assuming I am attracted to him and there is chemistry). Just me though... everyone is different. Ya know it's funny. When I first started dating my ex, we actually talked about this. After a rather intense weekend together (Friday after work until Monday morning), I didn't hear from him for two days. I was debating whether or not to contact him, but my instincts told me not to. That he needed some space. He contacted me Wednesday and came over that night. I said "Xxxx" should I have contacted you? And he sort of laughed and said "I suppose you could have, but I was NOT expecting you to. I just needed a couple of days to recuperate from our weekend! LOL" And we both laughed. Anyhoo, he just taught me something important. Sometimes guys (and women too -- I know I do!) need space! Time to think, to rejuvenate. It is not a huge deal. Just relax, live your life and if they're into you, they will return...or in your case OP, he will contact you and ask you out again. If not so be it. Life goes on. Edited September 21, 2016 by katiegrl 3
Shining One Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 I don't want to have to be the man in a relationship or a mother. I want a guy with a high enough interest level to pursue me without having to remind him I exist.I agree with you, in my experience the majority of the time if YOU have to chase a guy for a second date then it is not going to happen.Cool! Obviously, you are comfortable taking the aggressive/masculine energy role, and pursuing.She would not be chasing/pursuing him. If anything, it's mutual pursuit. He asked her out on the first date, so she would be asking him out on the second. It's reciprocation and mirroring of his effort and interest shown. It does make her the man or a mother. 1
katiegrl Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 She would not be chasing/pursuing him. If anything, it's mutual pursuit. He asked her out on the first date, so she would be asking him out on the second. It's reciprocation and mirroring of his effort and interest shown. It does make her the man or a mother. Please read my post again. In the early stages (at the very least the first 3-4 dates), I like to be pursued. It actually turns me ON (assuming I am attracted/feel chemistry). Masculine energy vs feminine energy. I enthusiastically respond so he KNOWS I am into him. My ex actually enjoyed pursuing me! Some men do, Shining One, I know you don't and that is your prerogative. Once we become exclusive, it becomes more reciprocal. Again no wrong or right, okay? It's whatever each of us is comfortable with and what turns us on to each other. If OP feels comfy asking him for second date, she should do so!! 2
Shining One Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 I was responding to the hyperbolic words being applied to the OP's situation. I never said anything about preferences being right or wrong.
katiegrl Posted September 21, 2016 Posted September 21, 2016 I was responding to the hyperbolic words being applied to the OP's situation. I never said anything about preferences being right or wrong. Ok, thanks for clarifying that!
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